This is true: Nobody cares

[whowhatwhen]

Today I can verify all of the shopping advice given here is true, that is being calm, acting confident and look like you belong there.
I went this afternoon to Shoppers Drug Mart, told a SA in the makeup area that I had nothing and needed everything to get started.

Off we went picking up stuff I'd need, got colour matched for the concealer and foundation right there.
The biggest thing is that no one cared, some dude* in the makeup area? All the other girls there were busy doing their own thing.

I left there $200 lighter, but a lot more confident which is why I'm posting this thread.
Hopefully some people will read this positive story and gets inspired to try it for themselves.


Note: I believe this is the correct section, it's not about what I bought but more the story about how no one cares what you do.

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds good to me Corinne. You are a pretty lady anyway Hon.

[sandra-leigh]

Shopper's is trying to compete on adult makeup -- notice how much space they give it compared to the rest of the store. So they have people who only work in the makeup section, and are professional and semi-enthusiastic about it because that's what sells. It isn't the Sephora experience, but Shoppers will sell to anyone.

The one advice I would add about Shopper's, though, is to avoid going for makeup late in the evening or at night unless you already know what you are getting: go during the day or early evening if you want to consult with someone. Overnight there might not be anyone in the makeup area; in the later evening you might only get students "doing a job" and counting the hours until they can go home. (Though to be fair, a few short years ago in Toronto you might have gotten my niece, who has since gone Pro and is doing well with photoshoots and film.)

[larry]

I have a new idea on this. There might be some who care but do I care if they do ?? NO !! hehehe

[Jolene Robertson]

Glad it went so well for you. I have always had the same experience when shopping, Went Saturday and bought 2 pairs of shoes, tried them on in the store and my wife bought 2 pair at the same time. The SA had to know that some of them were for me (size 11) while the others were a (size 8). No one looked at me or paid any attention and the shoe store was busy.

Hugs
Jolene

[Jodi Anne]

Yep, 99.9% of the time the fear is in our head. Good going Corinne, and thanks for sharing the story.

[whowhatwhen]

The one advice I would add about Shopper's, though, is to avoid going for makeup late in the evening or at night unless you already know what you are getting: go during the day or early evening if you want to consult with someone. Overnight there might not be anyone in the makeup area; in the later evening you might only get students "doing a job" and counting the hours until they can go home. (Though to be fair, a few short years ago in Toronto you might have gotten my niece, who has since gone Pro and is doing well with photoshoots and film.)

That's partly why I chose to go at around 2pm, I knew it wouldn't be too busy that I couldn't grab an SA for 15 minutes or so.
It was busy though, but not enough that I had to wait more than 3 minutes.

[Angela Campbell]

It is true that they do not care, and in fact some are a bit interested in it as it is something different. I recently joined a spa. It is one of those with tanning, hydro therapy, hand treatments ...the works. It is mostly used by the ladies but they treated me like a VIP and told me how nice it was to see a man wanting to take care of his body and appearance. They went out of their way to spend extra time with me and show me everything and how to use it. Even the other customers were nice and supportive to me. Just forget about being embarrassed and go for it. I am glad I do!

[kimdl93]

Totally true, Corinne. I suppose businesses are compelled to be accepting because our money is just as good as anyone elses. I would bet that the SA loved helping set you out with $200 worth of cosmetics! But its also true that hardly anyone else notices or cares how we are dressed - as long as we look civilized and decent. Today, for example, I went through the local mall, tried on some things at Dillards and Penney's ....just couldn't find anything that called out my name...and finished the day by having dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I encountered dozens of people...only a few made eye contact and those that did smiled politely. Either they could tell or couldn't, but neither they nor I cared.

[~Joanne~]

My So and I buy things all the time that are different in sizes and no one truly pays attention. I am always waiting to hear "You have two different sizes here" but it just hasn't happened. My SO doesn't have a hard time shopping with me but she might if I go to try the heels on right in the stores so I take the good with the bad lol

I went solo to ULTA to get my dermablend and had the girl match it to me. She even asked a guy that worked there if her match was good or not to be sure but neither had a problem helping me or said a word about my buying it. Sales are the bottom line and honestly I don't think any one really cares anymore who they are selling what to.

[Tracii G]

I don't see what is soo hard about shopping for make up in guy mode.Once you are honest and open the SA knows where you are coming from so all fear goes right out the window.

[STACY B]

Best way to stop any thing from happening when you shop is as soon as you walk in an they ask if you need some help say YES !! An start a conversation with them about anything related to what your there for !! They feel needed an helpful an they will greatly appreciate the Pat on the back an a thank you for them doing a job well done . Don't you like to hear you did a good job ? So don't sneak around like a shop lifter ,, Just talk to them ,, Were not weard or strange ,, We just want to buy what they have ,, An just like everyone else want to get the right thing the first time !! So lets go SHOP !!

[Angela Campbell]

I don't see what is soo hard about shopping for make up in guy mode.Once you are honest and open the SA knows where you are coming from so all fear goes right out the window.

It does, and I have seen more often than not the SA gets a kick out of it. They like it.

[whowhatwhen]

I don't see what is soo hard about shopping for make up in guy mode.Once you are honest and open the SA knows where you are coming from so all fear goes right out the window.

It can be a tough hurdle to overcome, but finding the strength to follow through is definitely worth it and the fear does go right out the window.
I hope that someone reads this thread, and thinks "wow, if that giant chicken can do it then so can I!"

[Tracii G]

I understand the fear that some have but if you want to be yourself in this fashion you have to get out there and do it.
Its not going to happen if you don't put out the effort.

[AllieSF]

I think that doing something new, out of the ordinary and not totally common can cause a bit, or a lot, of fear and shake one's own confidence. However, like anything else that we do, doing it many times or continually, not only makes it easier as the old fear just seems to disappear, but also makes us better at doing that once new thing that we tried with fear and anxiety. I shop in male and female mode for feminine clothes and products all the time with no problems. I do occasionally have a twinge of doubt that may last a second or two, but that is all. One thing that has helped me entering this shopping for female items was that I used to buy stuff for my ex-wife, daughter, sister and later girlfriends all the time. It dawned on me that I did not feel hesitant when I did that for them, so why should I feel that way buying similar things for me?

[FelicityMay]

i love hearing about people who actually just dont have a problem going shopping, even when it can seem like the hardest part
i have only really gone shopping once, a guy friend came with me and we just went through the mall, checking out lots of girl clothes, and no one gave us any grief!
we did get a few funny looks occasionally, but we were so flamboyant and comedic that we barely even noticed.
it is truth that stores will do just about anything to get a sale, and male shopping for womens clothing is a great target, because they are less experienced in how much to spend on what.

[Michelle M]

It's true.

I spent the afternoon at the mall in Traverse City, MI last weekend trying on pumps. I was in weekend guy mode, which for me is pretty fem, but never got a second look.

Quite a few people even had to step around me as I was seated in the isles, trying on shoes. I didn't offer any explanations, I just told the SA's what I was looking for, and they were happy to help.

[NathalieX66]

I've been out publically for three years straight, and even though I am no longer in my 20's or 30's, I've come to realize that no one cares.

If you go to a restaurant, look at it from the waiter's/ waitresse's standpoint: they are bored, they want their tips, they just want to do their job and go home. Whether you can fly under the radar as the other gender without being noticed, or you are obviously not born in the gender you are presenting as, they don't care.

I can't say what life is like in Alabama, but here on the east coast USA, no one cares, and everyone, for the most part, treats everyone with respect.

[Jamie001]

Nobody really cares is so true!! I have been trying to convince folks of that simple concept for years. The problem is that most crossdressers create fear in their own minds that takes-on a life of its own. It has no basis in reality however it keeps most crossdressers securely tucked into the back of the closet never to see the light of day. It is impossible to convince them that by slaying this pseudo demon, they will be liberated from the prison that they have created for themselves and will finally be able to really experience life by being proud of themselves rather than living in shame.

[Beverley Sims]

Corinne,
I agree with most interaction when out and about, dressed as a dude and asking about something specifically feminine only puts wonderment or a quizzical look on someones face. I have done as you have and asked for complete help and the reply is "Do this most girls would do it this way and they wouldn't say that either."
I have had all sorts of advice on feminine mannerisms without any embarrassment.

You do have to conduct yourself politely and not appear overtly male when asking.
Girls seem to perceive a sleazy come on from a mile off.