(Note to Admins - I couldn't decide if this belonged in the Male to Female Crossdressing forum or the Transsexual Forum so I decided to place it here. If you feel I was wrong I will understand if it gets moved. Thank you).
He’s been my guyself’s best friend for over a decade. We’ve camped together, built stuff together, fixed stuff together, we have lunch together every week or so. We look to each other for advice and counsel.
He’s the first guyfriend I told when I decided to “come out.” We were in his woodshop working on a project. I said, “I have to tell you something important. I’m not dying and I’m not gay, but it is pretty much at that level . . .”
I was very afraid. He tends to draw big distinctions between men and women. Not that he is really a misogynist, far from it, he respects women, he sees them as equals, but different.
He is a “man’s man,” a “real guy,” and the notion that a guy would want to be a woman is about as far from his thinking as it is probably possible to get. Something along the lines of my having told him I was a space alien from Anteres.
Yet he listened to what I had to say, thought it over, and the first thing he said was, “But we’re still friends, right?”
I had thought that was going to be my line, but his use of it proved to be what became normal as friend after friend asked me the same question.
My friend is in a very loving relationship with his wife of over 25 years. She is perhaps the closest to a saint of anyone I know. She is compassionate, kind, sweet, thoughtful, and always doing wonderful things for people.
She knew the real me before she was ever officially introduced to me. Whenever we spoke she would simply converse with me as she would with any other woman, and of course I would immediately fall into girlspeak.
If she opened the door when I arrived we would always immediately go into “girl mode.” So much so that when he walked in the room he would say something like “O.K. girls, break it up, time for he and I to go to work.”
It was no surprise to her when I “came out,” she just accepted it as perfectly natural.
My best friend also has a twin sister. A genuine real twin sister. And she and I (in girl mode) have begun to hit it off as well.
As a matter of fact, accompanied by my spouse the four of us have had a few Girl’s Night Out events. We’ve gone to various places, most recently last week when we went to dinner and a performance of “Legally Blonde – The Musical.”
Which pretty much brings us to the problem. More and more my guyself is disappearing. “He” goes out in public less and less, afraid that “he” will be seen and that I, my girlself, will be outted to those who only know me as a woman. It is a bit like watching the Cheshire Cat disappear in Alice In Wonderland.
What it means is that my friend, my best guy friend, is watching his best friend vanish.
Last week, just before our Girl’s Night Out, he insisted that “he” come over in the afternoon to work on one of our hobby projects.
It was almost surreal. I, as “he” (drab mode), went over for barely an hour. The two guys worked on the project in his woodworking shop, and about an hour later I as “she” showed up in a dress, heels, and full stealth passing mode, to go out with his wife and twin sister.
He even came out to the car to say “Goodbye” and “Enjoy yourselves” to us.
I think he needed “him” to come over that afternoon for reassurance that he still had his best friend.
Once, on a different occasion, he even said “I’m one of the few anchors that keep you on this side of the fence.”
And he is right; he is watching the Cheshire Cat disappear. And it hurts both of us very badly. I don't know what to do about it.
Hugs,
Persephone.
Originally Posted by Persephone
