I think my wife is more afraid I'll want to become the next Prince Poppycock than that I'll transition. I'm already half way there. I just need good looks and talent.
I think my wife is more afraid I'll want to become the next Prince Poppycock than that I'll transition. I'm already half way there. I just need good looks and talent.
Originally Posted by Lorileah
Along this theme, I am sure some TS can't admit to themselves so they hide behind the label "cross dresser." I can't imagine how anyone could be prepared to deal with being TS. But there are some who also "know" what they are. I will state that I am in the certainty camp. Just like I know I am a male and know I am straight and know I love my wife and kids. Certainty.
As often is the case here (unfortunately), there are many who fail to recognize that we aren't all driven by the same drive to crossdress. There are many of us who identify as men, spend most of our time in male mode, do guy stuff, including being a husband and father, and like it that way. Occasionally, we like to dress up as women, enjoying being femme in a part-time, play-time, dress-up fantasy. But we have no desire to be women.
So to the "never-say-never" folks: "never".
I understand that all of us are here for different reasons. And I know that many will never have the slightest inclination to transition. However, I always assumed I was merely a fetish dresser - just some panties or stockings. And then suddenly, something changed.
FWIW, I doubt I'd ever transition - I am extremely phobic of surgery and medical procedures. I don't think I could emotionally handle it. My doctors tell me I am a horrible, horrible patient. I am hopeful that I won't feel an overwhelming desire for this at some point in the future, because I'm not sure I would survive the conflicting impulses.
I don't mean to question anyone else, or their resolve - you know your own mind. Just pointing out that I sure thought I did too. YMMV.
And this rally cuts to the heart of the original intention of my post: if you are a cross dresser and out to your spouse and you KNOW you will not transition and you are certain your wife knows it too... better double check. Your wife/spouse may have this same kernel of doubt. you may not be able to eliminate it but know it's there.
IMO this says it all, no one can guarantee where we will be in 10, 15, 20 or more years down the road.
If I were to look back to when I was in my youth, I would have given a guarantee that I would never desire to dress up as a woman, yet today I do just that.
I totally understand people dress for all kinds of reasons Nicole...
the OP is a general statement... and generally speaking , whether you like it or not, wives are reasonable to wonder if things will "progress" over time....jennifer is pointing out to the group that for the cd's their wife might be more worried than she says..
and i'm pointing out that "generally speaking" she is not unreasonable to worry....
each personal situation is different
I guess we can talk about who can probably make such a forward looking statement:
- if you only CD infrequently, perhaps only a particular type of garment
- if you are happy with your male form, and just like to explore a feminine side
- your CD is a sexual fetish
- if you don't identify as female
A person who identified with one or several of these statements, especially if they identify as male is, I think quite unlikely to transition.
I've said all those things before, at one time or another, so I guess I'm safe then, right? :-)
I think my wife finally realizes I will always remain a man, but she repeatedly has expressed concern that once the kids move out, that I'm going to be dressed as a woman all the time.
Right now, she'll tolerate me wearing pantyhose (with shorts) around the house when it's just her and I, but she feels that once we're empty-nester's that she'll come home from work every day and fine me dressed to the nines. Although I would LOVE that scenario, I try to assuage her concerns and tell her it won't be like she worries about. At least not as much as she imagines it will be.
Last edited by SandraInHose; 03-25-2013 at 08:38 PM.
"Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" ('Carry On Wayward Son' by Kansas)
Hmmm. When my wife asked me if I wanted that, I told her I like my bits and wasn't planning on changing them. But I spend more time at home nowadays dressed as a female than I do as a male. I'm always in forms and fully dressed.
She also floored me last week when she asked me something about this "alternate lifestyle". I guess I never really thought about it from that perspective, but apparently she has...
When the answers escape us when we start to fade
Remember who loved you and the ones who have stayed
Cause my body will fail, but my soul will go on
So don't you get lonely I'm right where you are
I have been asked the question more than once..my answer is "probably not"..
I've said that I can certainly imagine the circumstances under which I would transition, but one necessary precondition to it happening would be that someone would have to drop a bridge on my fiancee. In other words, not happening.
Besides, I'm reluctant to let go of my male self and that tie to the rest of my life. I do think I'm happiest when I'm allowed to be either male or female, as suits me. Shifting to monogender female would be, in its way, almost as limiting as staying monogender male.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
When I started (at~45yrs), I looked at the options, looked at my (ex-powerlifter) body, said "meh" and thought about the practical aspects - not wanting to mow my lawn in a t-shirt with boobs, distrusting the medical/pharma industry, and not needing to be involved with another special-interest group. Then milady mentioned that if it looks like I'm modifying my body for this, she's gone, and that's not happening. The boyfriend likes us just the way we are, too...
Have fun,
Shae
Good insights, Jennifer. I get the occasional "Are you sure you're not gay" thing. Anymore I simply respond with, "are you sure you're not a Unicorn." Then we laugh and move on.
My wife Knows that I want to transition into a complete woman and that is why I am now seperated. I still love my wife and she loves me but as she said she is not attracted to women. I really want to complete my transition someday and know the feeling of actually being a complete person. This is where I am stuck and why my wife cant live with me.
But I have told her everything including the fact that I want my body to match my mind. I think I will dwell on what I dont think I will ever get too, Womanhood. but I can hold my breath
I wish I had the courage to just be myself and live my life how I want
With you being my mentor of sorts, I do tell her regularly, also that I'm not gay. Just a guy in a corset :-)
this is a very intresting topic i have been married for over 40 plus years and my wife has know since before we got married and i think we are all in a diffrent stage no matter what age i have belonged to several diffrent groups over the years , i have watched several girls transition a few with great success and others that resulted it total disaster even suicide, my wife has been going out with me and some of my friends for the last 25 or so years she too has seen these things happen ,(buy the way we enjoy going to sanfransico a copule of time a year as two girls just to have fun) the bottom line is you never know in the end what can or will happen , enjoy life and it's challenges
just some thoughts susie
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