I know plenty of men who, when they see an attractive woman, their conversation takes this form: "Here's what I'd like to do with that" (notice she's not a "her"). I'm absolutely not thinking like that. Here's what's on my mind:
I'd sure like to have hair like hers (or boobs or legs)
I love her nails.
That's a cute outfit. I'd like to know where she got it.
I'd like to look as beautiful as she does.
If the guys think that's not normal then so be it. There, I said it.
I think along the same lines as you do...that being said it doesn't prevent me from imagining being with her I'm just less likely to be the assertive factor in the reaction.
See my quote.
I think both ways, "I wish I could get away with wearing that" and "I'd really like to be with her"
Note, i did NOT say, "I'd hit that" or any similar thing.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
It is nice to know others feel this way. I do too now. It's a very odd way of thinking from my perspective. It's a little disorienting, to be honest. Thinking about how women look / what they are wearing that way is beginning to seem more "normal" to me. That's also a little weird.
I find myself looking at women's makeup a lot. What looks good, what looks bad. I've spent more mental cycles on cosmetics in the past month or so than I have over the rest of my prior life, combined.
When i wrote about "that" vs "'her", I didn't mean to imply all men were pigs regarding their attitudes towards women, but I have known some that are. Perhaps I should choose my words, and my company, more carefully.
Last edited by suzanne; 03-31-2013 at 12:35 AM. Reason: better clarification of original statement
The "normal" type of guy is one of the reasons I CD...
I hate it when a guy looks at a girl and, like you said, just thinks "Here's what I'd like to do with that". I find that completely disrespectful to women. I dislike guys like that so much that I don't even like to think of myself as a guy sometimes! Because most guys out there are complete jerks a lot of the time!
Really? I mean, I agree with you about that being disrespectful, but well, I'm old and the men my age - oh hell they behave exactly the same way.Originally Posted by FelicityMay
But I think the girls team doesn't need us to join in solidarity. They are pretty tough on their own - years of practice and stuff. (I'm not near as tough as most girls, no way!) Hopefully they appreciate the sentiment though. I'm sure that's not what you meant exactly - but, lol, that's how I read it.
You meant you want to be more sensitive, right? Can't say I disagree with you if that's the case.
Yea! most guys are pretty shallow, and just want girls for lust. I like to see them much more personally, opposed to seeing them as an objectYou meant you want to be more sensitive, right? Can't say I disagree with you if that's the case.
I agree with you 1000%, Felicity May.
This is why I have never liked topless bars. (Used to have to go for business reasons - I swear!) I've gone, I've gawked, but then I always make the mistake of talking to one or more of the dancers. And then I start to care about them as people, and feel bad for gawking at them at first. (In fairness to me, they are trying to attract attention from the audience - it is how they earn their income.) But I end up feeling just terribly guilty about staring at the nice young woman's breasts.
That isn't normal either, is it?
I'm not very good at treating women like objects either. I like them too much.
I am my normal. It took me too many years to accept that and find a SO who accepted it as well.
I see make up style. Everything from WOW how did she get that look to ewew, what was she thinking?
I see clothes and try to visulize how they would look on me. Unfortuneately the size 12 in my head does not match the 16/18 of my body
I see motion, movement and presentation. How do i incorporate that grace into my personna
I see boobs, desparately wanting a real full B/C cup (the other crosses my mind too)
I see a feminine butt, wanting the same feeme shape to fill out my jeans and give my dresses and skirts the sway they should have.
Sigh
Am i normal. You bet I am.
Dee
Dressing is 10% Paint and 90% ATTITUDE
I've wondered about myself over the years.When I was much younger and the guys would talk like that I would wonder,am I supposed to think of women like that?I don't.Never did.Rather than think of them as sex objects,I was attracted by their beauty and grace.I've always been especially attracted to intelligent women.Lately I find myself studying them,how they walk,their lipstick and makeup,things that I need to improve.I just love women.Always have.Barbara
You said it all,Purple!Women are the most intelligent and beautiful creatures on this planet...they're sharp as a tack, their intuition is mind-blowing, and their intelligence is beyond compare. Need I say more?
Well first off Im not sure if there is such a thing as "normal" . Your behavior is normal for you so go with it. To a point I am the same way. I look at the cloths, but alot of times I look at the girl in the cloths also.
Erica
What's "Normal" for me isn't for someone else and I'm glad of that or this would be a very boring world.
That being said, when I see a woman my first thoughts are like so many others, "what a cute top", "I love her dress...mmm would it look that good on me?", "those shoes are fabulous", "wish I had nails like hers" and so on. Maybe guys don't think like that but I do and it's good enough for me. That's my normal and I love it!!
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
There is a piece of this that is "normal". Every human has a biological attraction that is built into the circuitry. In this discussion we are focussing on genetic men who are attracted to women.
Once we call this attraction "normal", they we have to divide the response to that normalcy into "what does one do about this attraction". Some men have a response that is can only be called "crude". It's likely we are all a little crude as we freshly emerge from puberty, but we learn pretty quickly that this kind of crudeness does not get a positive response from women, and we look for some other approach! Some use the terms "suave" or "sophisticated" but these are often used when a long-term relationship is NOT the interest. Others find that in the long run a human-caring approach is very effective in making a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with the "object of our desire".
For us who are transgendered, there is another facet to our desire: we not only want the "normal" connection, we strive to understand what generates our attraction. That is, as we begin to present as our feminine selves, we work hard to understand the process of being feminine. Although the physical presentation is initially very important, we invariably become interested in all goes along with that attraction: deportment, voice, emotion, psychology, emotions, desires, goals, and dealing with the world in which GGs exist.
So, for us it is all intertwined. Those of us in long-term loving relationships (it'll be 40 years for us in a couple of months) we're already living with the "object of our desires" so there is considerably more freedom to focus on observing how other women accomplish their effective "look". It's also terrific to be able to discuss the details with one's spouse as their take on other women's approach is more often than not completely fascinating and instructive.
Hmmm, this got long suddenly, but it was fun to think about just what "normal" is for those of us who are NOT gender-challenged.
I'm kind of weird too, but if the woman is attractive I'm thinking about her clothes and also how great she looks wearing them. Part of what makes a woman attractive is her clothing, hair, makeup, but what the clothing does to emphasize the beautiful body she has been blessed with.
If I make a comment to another guy about her sexuality, it's a compliment to her. I love women's clothing but thinking only about how I would look wearing her clothes would be taking away from her and her natural beauty. But still in the back of my mind I'm thinking "where did she get that top?"
A few year back I was a normal guy for about 10 seconds, They was a very well dressed woman walking into the coffee shop.
I smiled like any guy would. That is where it stopped. But I was smiling for 2 reasons, Not only was she very attractive, I had just bought the exact same dress
and it home in my closet. Not only did I know where she got it, I knew what she paid for it.
my little secret for the day. Made me laugh on the inside.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Sometimes I think that the strangest thing in the world is someone who is totally normal. Does such a being exist?
Miriam
I haven't heard a guy say, "What I'd like to do to her", since high school. Most males aren't that communicative about their personal affairs!
I looked at women I found attractive without a thot of how they were dressed for 50 years before I began dressing. Never thot of what I would do to/with them. Just that they were pretty.
Things have changed for me now. First, I'm attracted to them. Second, I review what it is about them I find attractive. Then, see if I can copy that!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
No, all men aren't pigs. A lot of present company are a case in point. Wasn't getting at you,or any other male, specifically.
There is however, an extremely pervasive mindset in the general public, as to the role and position of Women in our society. Women suffer from this as well, they, like most of us men, have been brainwashed, in subtle, and not so subtle ways, to regard Women as...lesser, weaker, of less worth, as having less ability. There ARE differences, but the overlap is a lot bigger than most admit, or know about. Humans tend to self sort, racially, by gender, by religion, by age, by sport teams! Call it a tribing mentality.
There is nothing wrong in being turned on by a gorgeous example of whichever gender you are attracted to. Whats wrong is considering that PERSON, as simply an outlet for your animal urges. Having animal urges is fine, when my GF gets me going I can be as bestial as the next guy, but I don't force myself on her when she's not in the mood. I can lose myself in the moment, but before I do, I make sure she's OK with that. Occasionally she ends up with a bit of a sore muscle here and there, but that's because she was encouraging me. ( and I mean actually encouraging me with words or touch, not just because she chose to wear a short skirt today ) Sorry, not meaning to be too graphic, but the point is I do not regard her as simply a sex toy for my needs. I have no problem with her displaying sexually, or even other guys admiring her. I quite like being complimented on my legs or butt by other girls, it's a very nice reinforcement of my self confidence.
I tend to ramble, my point is that this objectification of women is part of the tendency to see the gender first, and the person second ( if at all )
We of all groups, should respond to the PERSON. The gender, orientation, etc of that person, and what that means to ourselves and our needs, should be second, and only in the light of their desires.
A 15 year old girl that my GF knows said it succinctly, "My genitals and what I like to do with them is nobodies business but mine, and anyone I'm dating."
I'm relearning a lot of my own attitudes and behaviors, I try to think for a second before the simplest things. Am I offering help with that big box because I automatically assume that girl can't lift it? Am I trying to be the one to volunteer to do a task, because I think none of the women in the group would be able to understand something that technical? Sometimes I end up over thinking it, the trouble is the assumptions are so deep, and so ingrained, we can't even understand what we're doing wrong even when it's pointed out to us.
Having now completely derailed the original discussion, I'm off for a while, so responding to response to this will be about 24 hours. Feel free to poke holes in my viewpoint, be as direct as you like, but keep it polite please.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
I don't know if I've ever thought of myself as really a guy, though physically my body is. I've never felt like a woman either, but I've always preferred to have most of the look of women, though not effeminate behavior, nor masculine.FM: I dislike guys like that so much that I don't even like to think of myself as a guy sometimes! Because most guys out there are complete jerks a lot of the time!
When I see attractive women in person, I often think it would be great to have a girlfriend that lovely, but I don't seem to think much about wanting to look like her at the moment. I usually only think about how I want to look when I'm dressing or wanting to dress. I'm pickier about what women's clothes I'd like to wear than most, it seems. I settle for moderate dress that I already have, but what I'd like most is really fancy short frilly dresses with lots of lace, ribbons, bows etc. The frilly dress would be something like this: http://wwcdn.weddingwire.com/static/...maiddress2.jpg.
I seldom see women wear anything as spectacular as what I'd like to wear myself. This CD gal seems to share my taste a bit: http://darthcronus.deviantart.com/ar...coat-163086084.
Last edited by LelaK; 03-31-2013 at 12:47 PM.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
I agree when i think of gurls i would only find.them.very interesting but i would never go and say oh let me just get in her pants because thats not my thing and beside i have too much respect for the ladies
Your thoughts are normal for people on this board.
You maybe have a cross gender personality, what ever that may be.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Don't think it's all just one sided Hon. Most women just love the adulation and admiration from men when they do that. It's part of what makes the world go around.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I look at women as human beings. The only time I even think about sex is when they make it clear that's what they're thinking about.
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