I have noticed that many people here embrace a separate female persona, that is different and separate from their male persona.
I have never considered myself that way, I still feel ( and sadly look ) like my male persona when I have an opportunity to dress. I don't transform into a female alter ego.
Am I missing something? Do others here find it more satisfying to create another identity? Do you feel as though you are "play acting" the part or is there something deeper and more meaningful?
dela;
I asked my wife about this not so long ago. Why? Because, like you I don't really feel any different regardless of the clothing I am wearing.
Her response to me was that while I am stilll the same person, I am much "softer" while en femme.
So, I suggest that you ask this of someone who knows both of you.
Inside every good man, there is a good woman.
I, like you don't feel the separate persona, per se'. I do feel my personality is "softer" but not to the point I have to box person a and person b in separate boxes and never the twain shall meet.
I am the same - the other name is as much about identity protection as anything else
I think different people have different reasons why they dress and that leads to a different persona. When I dress I am still me, the same person I always am, just in different attire. I dont feel any different and when I look in the mirror I still see me. I dont dress to escape who I am but to express who I am.
Erica
More along with Erica Marie on this. All part of the same geeky package. (Really did have a plastic pocket protector once.)
Dela - you are fine with only a single persona. You aren't missing anything. Many of us on this site feel the exact same as you, possibly most.
I actually don't, and giving Paula a name and email address and letting her talk to people was a profound and life changing experience. It has also been very confusing and somewhat scary. I'm sure I'll eventually adjust to this, but in the meantime, I really wish I felt as you do.
For a lot of us, I think the discovery of an inner female persona leads to a magical journey of self-discovery. Mine's been like that too - but with screams and tears. (They are magical screams and tears though...)
Not everyone can embrace the deep feelings associated with this process totally. It's sometimes much easier to develop another persona or something akin to a feminine "suit" they put on to experience the feelings. Addressing these feelings requires courage and dedication. If we do we realize it's all as simple as it is difficult. We are all (humans) both male and female. It really becomes a matter of choice to embrace one or the other or both at any given time.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
David is the male side...and Diana is the female side. They are different from one another. As has been said "a softer side." I've taken blood pressure med's for years and check it daily. But when I'm Diana for an extended period of time (1 full day or more) my blood pressure is normal. Once I dressed straight for a whole week and no issues with blood pressure. Just as we don't know why we dress...may'be there is something inside us that tells us it's alright to express our female side
Like you, Dela, I've noticed the posts about a separate persona, and I've wondered how it could be without some serious schizophrenia involved. As I tell my wife and the close friends that know, I'm the same man no matter what appearance I take on. I may adapt mannerisms so I can pass more easily in public (and walk in heels), but it's still me all the way - a guy with a strong feminine side.
Miriam
Hi,dela.For me it's much deeper and more meaningful.I have only one personality,it just happens to be a very feminine one.The only time I feel like I'm play acting is when I have to hide my femininity.I adjust and function OK in male mode,though it usually takes a day or two to get used to it,but inside I still think pink.Barbara
I don't know about my blood pressure, but CDing is definitely a big stress reliever for me. One of the problems I'm having now is not having the opportunity to dress and it is making me more agitated.
i wish i was dressing up to relieve stress
im just me Dela. me as guy and sometimes, me in a dress.
It's more nuanced than that. I've noticed that each side of my personality has somewhat different characteristics. They share memories and experiences - they are both still "me". But the masculine part of me is really logical, and has a somewhat impious sense of humor. Humor is also almost the only emotion he'll express. He is a "tell me the worst case scenario" type. The feminine side of me is a LOT more emotional, and is really, really concerned about your feelings. She's optimistic.Originally Posted by Miriam-J
FWIW, and believe it or not, over the years, I've taken the Myers-Briggs MBTI a number of times, and while most of the time it comes out the same, sometimes I alternate between "T" - for "Thinking" and "F" for "Feeling". This always seemed weird to me, as I'm all about the thinking. But it makes more sense now.
I could be completely wrong, but the difference feels like more than a mood, but a LOT less than an alternate personality. (I hope I never know what that is like.)
I'll be honest - it's pretty weird. I'm not quite used to this yet.
This.
I am Danielle Rose, the woman. But I live inside a man's body, and I have to play this role that I grew up in and developed all my life.
I dress to be myself. Not doing so results in gender dysphoria.
Dela, why would a grown man go against societal norms and customs; face alienation from friends, family, employers, church; potentially tear families apart; etc, just to wear women's clothing? This isn't pre-school dress up. This isn't Halloween costume party stuff. This isn't dressing up on a dare. There is some compelling reason to go on this adventure.
Some do adopt a different persona, and call it living a lie, fantasy, dressup, impersonation, make believe or whatever you like they are comfortable presenting that way.
When I was younger with more of an identity crisis I consciously did the same thing.
As I grew older that was not one of my priorities any more.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Just a couple of points from me. We all adopt different personae - almost every day. We do it to fit either the company we are in the people we are working with, the environment - and our feelings. I wonder how many of us have a different "telephone voice"? Schizophrenia is a clearly defined and identifiable clinical entity - and cross dressing is not part of it.
Like your point about the Myers Briggs, Paula. If you are getting similar results regularly, it's probably spot on.
When we dress, I believe that along with the clothes, the hair and the makeup, there comes an unconscious change in emotion, mannerism, body language and way of interacting. That is what I (IMHO) would describe as an alternate persona. I'm not suggesting that we all suffer from multiple personality disorder!!
More than anything else, it feels good, it feels right. If only we would shed the guilt.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
I have my male persona, and I have my female persona, the latter of which is named "Amy." But they are two sides of the same coin; no matter which one predominates and is outwardly expressed, the other one is still present. Occasionally I "hear" the chatter between them, such as one afternoon when I was in my car and indulging Amy by playing her music on the stereo. Then, when I had to park and get out to run an errand, I heard my Amy-voice telling my male self, "You need to take over here," and my male voice responding, "It's all right, Amy, I got this."
But I'm learning that both of my personas are valid, and both need to be expressed, or else I start feeling out of balance and unhappy.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
Just like DaniG below, I really do believe I am a woman in a man's body. So when I dress, I am becoming my true self and it is a relief to be myself at last. If there is a constructed persona, it is the male persona I adopt every day.
But it is not exclusively about dressing. Simply being in the company of women friends - maybe just chatting about 'girly' things over a coffee - makes me a happier, more content person, as does looking at the fashions in the shops, browsing women's magazines, etc etc. These experiences help me be myself, too.
I don't think I'm different emotionally when I'm dressed, compared with my male persona. But I'm quite a sensitive, emotional kind of person anyway. Like Barbara Maria (below), if there is any play-acting involved, it is hiding my feminine side in certain situations when dressed as a man.
I did use to try and rationalize what was going on in my life using the 'two persona' theory but it never really worked for me at all. In fact it was one of the many mistakes that I've made in coming to terms with who and what I am.
I don't and never have felt myself to be a different person whether presenting as Natasha or as Boy. I am and always have been either just me being me or else me playing (sometimes rather badly) at being a boy.
Natasha
I refer to Ria as a persona sometimes to other people because it's easier for them to understand it that way, but for me crossdressing is just one way of expressing a side of myself I don't quite have the opportunity to in male mode.
Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British
With me and a few girls I've talked with, there's a transition that slowly occurs while the makeup is going on and culminates with the wig. The crowning glory of the woman. I'm pretty much completely dressed and made up by the time I don my hair. It's so much fun to see Lynn looking back at me in the mirror.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
I wouldn't see it as an alternate persona for myself.
I do become more empowered feeling because its as if I'm embracing one hundred percent of myself. I don't really leave my male side behind.
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