This is very true. The only problem is that some of us don't blend, pass, or squeak by at all. I can say I fall into that category and I stand out like a sore thumb as a girl and all eyes magnate to me when I go out. I really don't give a poo but my SO doesn't want me doing this stuff in public.... I do go to the bars sometimes thoughOriginally Posted by Eryn
I went out for the first time a few days ago. it was to a very uncrowded mall, but every person that looked at me felt like they could see right through me. I had no makeup on and tried to talk as little as possible. It was pretty scary, but no one really seemed to care! i was with a couple close friends too. I didnt want to look at anyone in the eyes, but my friends later told me I got checked out a few times. So I went from being so nervous and shy, to just being happy I decided to try it out
Great post. Well said
Hi Felicity and thanks for sharing that. What a fun adventure.
Thanks Lynn. I'm with you on the shopping malls thing. It never occurred to me to go to one. I typically only go out dressed at night, so I wouldn't want to waste that time at a shopping mall. Fortunately, since I'm in LA, there are endless options. I love the looks I get at gas stations and mini markets. It's so fun.
Last edited by Lorileah; 04-04-2013 at 05:24 PM. Reason: merged consecutive posts. try and merge posts with edit when you post so close together thanks
i do not "blend" in very good, but only once did i ever hear a commit. and it was a older lady stating thats a guy in girl jeans (in drab, dress shopping that day).
got some laughs more like a giggle (made her day) from a teenage girl fist time she saw a guy trying on heels in a store.
but when out as loni never a giggle or look, just treated as a lady out and about.
now if i could just lose that 60 pounds.
.
It really is amazing how much things have changed from the 1950s to 2013.
In 1956 my father was scolded and reprimanded for wearing a PINK TIE! They told him his career was over if he dressed so inappropriately again.
In 1962 my classmates threw rocks and shouted "Stone the Sissy" because I liked playing with the girls but wasn't allowed to do it anymore
-- because I had been caught dressed like a girl.
In 1966 My mother knew I was still dressing - she was afraid that I would be forced into electro-shock and/or lobotomized - so she told me not to tell anyone.
In 1968 I was whipped with towels because I was so effeminate and my d*ck was so small.
In 1969 Harry Benjamin published his paper on treatment of transsexuals.
In 1977 I told my fiance' - she broke up by leaving me a note the following morning.
In 1978 I tried to tell my therapists about "Debbie" and they told me they legally couldn't talk about it.
In 1979 Rocky Horror Picture Show became a cult movie - but even there coming dressed was "high risk".
In 1980 I told my sponsor and my fiance - my fiance almost left on the spot.
In 1987 I found a cross-dresser's group in Rochester NY. None of them could pass - it was still a crime.
In 1988 I was nearly fired on the spot for wearing a maid costume to the company Halloween party.
In 1989 I was harassed daily until I was willing to quit - because I had dressed, and was dressed in public - Even though I was earning the company's highest awards.
In 1990 My wife divorced me because of my dressing - the school social worker offered to have my visitation revoked - because I was a dresser.
In 1991 I was detained for nearly 2 hours while the officer checked every criminal database for both my male and female alias - because I was dressed when he stopped me.
In 1992 I was investigated for running a prostitution ring - because I was a cross-dresser and was living with 4 women - and had coached labor for 2 of them and written letters of recommendation for a third who was trying to regain custody of her child. A female undercover officer gave me the alias "The Fairy Godmother" because I was "Godmother" to 4 children in less than 2 years.
In 1996 I was denied a leadership role because of my dressing - even though I had broken every statistical record in my training courses.
In 2004 I put up my profile, which included pictures of both Rex and Debbie. 1000 women viewed the profile, only 6 wanted dates. I married one of them.
In 2013 - I went shopping as Debbie, and no one even noticed me, let alone challenged me or threatened me - to them I was just another woman.
In the 1960s, a cross-dresser who went out in public could be arrested for lewd behavior and tried as a sexual offender - just for dressing up.
In the 1970s, a transsexual had to go to Sweden to get a sex change.
In the 1980s, She-males were becoming more common, and they were appearing in Adult films to fund their transitions.
In the 1990s, several shows and movies had cross-dressing and she-male or transsexual aspects.
In 2010, the first emperical studies of over 10,000 transgender men showed high incidence of suicide, self destructive behavior, and poverty - especially those who came out to families or girl-friends when they were young.
In 2012 the American Psychology Association decided that it was MALPRACTICE to try to convince a transsexual NOT to transition if they really wanted to do so.
In 2013 the American Psychiatric Association decided that it was MALPRACTICE to try to deny transition therapy to transsexuals.
In 2013 - as part of a number of Gay Marriage campaigns, many men have admitted to being transgender living in stealth mode.
One author recently suggested that as many as 1 in 6 males may have been transgendered and were living in stealth mode.
Facebook - Debbie Lawrence
Web - [URL="http://www.debbieballard.org"]DebbieBallard.org{/URL]
See also:
Open4Success
That is true - it is not the end of the world. The best thing to do is to just get out there and not worry about who sees you. That is real freedom.
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
Getting past my fear has been the biggest issue...then going to my local thrift store enfemme reminds me that I don't have to be afraid. I get compliments on my appearance and am often asked on fasion advice..even when not Vanessa. They know me both ways and are fine with it. Kohls on the other hand seems to be hit and miss.
its more difficult for straight males that like to dress. I still dont know why /i do so, lesbian in the wrong body or just like the female side and want to experience it a fetish or all of the above?
I wish it was as simple as that. I really do. But I've always been terrified of people in general much less the idea of going out dressed. In my case I'm not simply worried about not passing, I'm worried about being 6'4" tall at 237lbs. I already catch attention wherever I go most every time. Dressed it would be 10 times worse. But I'm also a paranoid person (actually paranoid schizo) and I don't think it will ever happen for me, I just can't get past some things. I do support people who do even if they don't completely pass. Is an inspiration to anyone in the cd / tg / ts closet. I'd like to think that even though I can't or won't ever go out dressed I would be the first one to defend someone if they were outted in a public place and made a target. If that explains my view on it in some way...
How often do you daydream about finding a genie's lamp...
great to hear you went out Felicity and thanks Veronica for the cool insight, i'll have to give it a try.
and thats a great new Avatar Felicity, you look great and more confident wih each pic!
xxx Chloe xxx
If You Are On The Rainbow Then You Are on the Team
Strangers probably don't care about your crossdressing. Some won't notice and some will just notice and walk on by. Occasionally someone will make a nasty remark. Some crossdressers have been beaten up just for being crossdressers.
On the other hand, people who know you will care. They may avoid you because they don't want to be seen with a crossdresser. Being seen crossdressing by people you know can cause you to lose your job or a promotion. Being seen crossdressing by people you know can cause embarassment for your loved ones, wife, children, etc.
It's not as simple as some people make it out to be. Some of us may not be worried about friends, jobs, or loved ones. Others may indeed be worried about these things.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
It has been stated many times here that we blow things entirely out of proportion in our own heads and create our own demons. I know of people that have been alcoholics, domestic abusers, and deadbeat fathers that have not lost their jobs or loved-ones. I also know of one very prominent CFO of a corporation and all of the employees knew that he belonged to a nudist colony. There were no repercussions. We blow these things out of proportion in our own minds because we have really big demons. In most cases, there is no reality. We are simply wearing women's clothing. It is not illegal and doesn't harm anyone.
tyhis shouldnt have any effect on ones job, if your well liked and a good worker and also never bring it to work, but a female cloyhing store job may be the best part time gig to dress, long as we are well known shoppers both ways and apply in our regular guy mode for the job
I agree with Linda and it's not the first time. You may be recognized by someone important in your life and they may not say anything... to you that is. Going out is a risk that has rewards, yet the risk is bigger for some of us than for others. In my case the rewards don't outweigh the possible consequences.
Posting Permissions
