I have a theory-for anyone who isnt full time

[Princess29]

Forgive me if I have (or anyone else) has asked this before as my short term memory isn't that good.
And my short term memory isn't that good either...
Anyway.
Does anyone else find that if you want to dress but cant for whatever reason (family, no shoes or wig or whatever the issue is), then that amplifies your desire to do it?
And then conversely if you find you have complete freedom, do you maybe over compensate initially and go a little crazy but then find a level that is a lot less?
As in the saying "water will eventually find its own level"

For me, when I still lived with my parents, if I wanted to dress it was pretty much impossible unless my parents were away for a known amount of time otherwise I didn't bother and that frustration often made me want to do it more.
Now I live by myself and can dress whenever I want but for me, dressing and then staying in my apartment isn't enough other than the occasional photo session and so I would like to go out. As I have mentioned previously, I can't get to my car without going past my neighbours and going one way, at most I have to go past 2 units and then the other way, its 4.
And one of the guys (going the short way) has a tendency to leave his front door open, lights on and then often when he sees or hears me going past, he often is in the mood for a chat including one time when I was trying to sneak out for a Melissa outing. Not one other person in the units does this and because of him (and me not wanting to out myself to him as its none of his business what I do) being always around, it is frustrating me immensely.
If I was to go out, I really don't have anyone else to go places with and don't really want to go out in the area that I live so they are factors too so even if I overcome him, I have to work on that as well.

[PaulaQ]

Yes, I've heard several people make this observation. I don't think it is universal, but it certainly seems to happen with some of us.

[ReineD]

Does anyone else find that if you want to dress but cant for whatever reason (family, no shoes or wig or whatever the issue is), then that amplifies your desire to do it?

I've noticed that here. It seems as if the members who are the most restricted at home, have the most intense fantasies of being women.

And then conversely if you find you have complete freedom, do you maybe over compensate initially and go a little crazy but then find a level that is a lot less?

This has been my SO's experience. Exactly.

As in the saying "water will eventually find its own level"

Yup. Great observations!

[Lynn Marie]

Very astute observation. Yes, we've seen it before. Getting past your neighbor may take some imaginative solution. Think of it as a commando operation. Park your car closer, go out under the concealment of darkness, get dressed in a public/private restroom, rent a room. How about a diversion, hire a hooker to dance around in the backyard! There's just got to be a way for a girl to get out for the evening.

[NicoleScott]

There was a time when I couldn't get enough private time and place to dress up. Yes, the desire built up. I always took advantage of those limited times when I could dress. Then, divorced and living alone in a new town where I knew few people, I could dress whenever I wanted, and I did just that. My desire has always been all-or-nothing full transformation, and I made up and dressed 3-4 times a week, going out some but not a lot (mostly contented to stay home). Later, married and with a child, the opportunities changed (wife knows, but child and other family doesn't) and I couldn't dress nearly as often. The desire built up in between sessions, and I again took advantage whenever I could. Now, I have lots of private time and opportunity, but don't transform nearly as often as I could. I wonder if my desire is diminishing as I age.

[Jenniferathome]

.... so I would like to go out. As I have mentioned previously, I can't get to my car without going past my neighbours and going one way, at most I have to go past 2 units and then the other way, its 4.
And one of the guys (going the short way) has a tendency to leave his front door open, lights on and then often when he sees or hears me going past, he often is in the mood for a chat ...

I am sure that the cues you give in guy mode (hiding girl mode) while walking past are different than if you were completely dressed. he's not expecting to hear heels clicking past is he? If he saw you completely dressed for that brief second as you pass his door, he's not going to want to chat up a stranger, is he? Walk with confidence in either direction and all your neighbors will see is some "strange lady." No one is waiting to inspect you. They won't recognize you.

[Beverley Sims]

Very brave thoughts there Jennifer.
I would have to be very brave also to pass a neighbor that knew me as well as Princesse's neighbor.

[Eryn]

Does anyone else find that if you want to dress but cant for whatever reason (family, no shoes or wig or whatever the issue is), then that amplifies your desire to do it?
And then conversely if you find you have complete freedom, do you maybe over compensate initially and go a little crazy but then find a level that is a lot less?

I think that this is a pretty fair appraisal. We always fixate on that which we cannot have and when we are allowed free reign we often find that the thing we wanted is not nearly so effortless as we thought it would be. We find the balance that seems to work well for each person.

I've found that it takes me several times a GG's level of effort to present reasonably well. While this is acceptable to me once or twice a week I don't think that I could maintain it on a daily basis. For me, going out is a sort of short vacation from my normal drab life.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Does anyone else find that if you want to dress but cant for whatever reason (family, no shoes or wig or whatever the issue is), then that amplifies your desire to do it?
And then conversely if you find you have complete freedom, do you maybe over compensate initially and go a little crazy but then find a level that is a lot less?
As in the saying "water will eventually find its own level"

A different perspective although seems to be the exception.

I can and do dress Mon to Fri with my wife at work. I spend a good deal of time working at the National Library - free wifi, good cafe, etc - rather than working (lonely) at home. Perhaps not absolutely complete freedom but sure close.

I have been waiting for the 'ho-hum, can I be bothered' feeling but the opposite has happened. Yesterday I had to change back after being dressed all day to pick up my car after servicing. Needing to do some grocery shopping, it took me 50 minutes to change and do full make-up.

The down side to this relative freedom is an increasing but totally impractical feeling of wanting to dress full time.

Michelle

[xdressed]

I am sure that the cues you give in guy mode (hiding girl mode) while walking past are different than if you were completely dressed. he's not expecting to hear heels clicking past is he? If he saw you completely dressed for that brief second as you pass his door, he's not going to want to chat up a stranger, is he? Walk with confidence in either direction and all your neighbors will see is some "strange lady." No one is waiting to inspect you. They won't recognize you.

One of my housemates didn't recognize me when I was dressed once, even though she and the others are all well aware and have been for a while and have seen me dressed around the house loads. In fact she was there because I wanted to have a big outing as Ria with all the people who know to celebrate finishing our last essay of the course. You'll be surprised how different you seem to the outside world

[Julogden]

Your theory sounds about right for many of us. In the long run, if we have the freedom to do as we like, we'll find our own level of comfort.

I know how it can be living in a situation where you have to sneak past neighbors. When I first moved into Chicago, I was in a 4-flat unit that was very challenging to get out of without being seen by the other occupants. I remember successfully sneaking out once only to be seen by the guys across the hall as they were turning onto our street from Fullerton Avenue as I was sitting waiting to turn out into traffic. It was bright daylight, and I can still remember their dumbfound looks as they stared at me as they drove slowly past. I got a break in the traffic right then and took off. Nothing was ever said to me, but they never were very friendly after that. Fortunately, I moved shortly after. My new place was set up perfectly for coming and going with relative privacy.

Carol

[Loni]

lucky me i do not have to sneak past anybody to get out.
small town so not sure how they would react knowing.
but of late for me just not able to go anywhere. just no money to go anywhere. (bill problem$ or i$ it lack of ca$h?) even a shopping mall is 40 miles (favorite mall is 100 miles) away.
small town = nothing here.
and i work weekends, so everybody i know is working on my weekend.


.

[Princess29]

The walkway to go past this particular neighbour is only about 1 metre or so, not very wide and this guy has eyesight so there is no way he would not see me going past as if he is sitting in the way, he would literally have to move his chair for me to go past. I have another way to go but that is a lot longer, past 4 units and the person in the opposite corner flat out hates me and would take any chance he could get to humiliate me.
The neighbour I'm trying to get past, I get on great with him.
As I said though, I don't really have anywhere to go so would have to work on that too. Melissa is not all of who I am, just a small part. The challenge is trying to work out where she fits in

[Badtranny]

How about not giving some dude you barely know so much power over your life.

[Princess29]

yes, I know that Melissa (great name by the way). I realise I am giving him way too much power over this small aspect of my life and if I told him, I'm sure he wouldn't even blink.



Melissa

[tiffanynjcd24]

for me i feel it was hard to dress up because my family dont know and i live with my grandma. Hopefully i am working towards of getting my own palce

[Tracii G]

I live alone so its a non issue with me but I have read threads dealing with this subject.
When I was married I had put this part of me on hold and never really had that problem.
I'm good at putting desires and feelings away for long periods of time.

[Barbara Maria]

Hi,Princess.Like you,I live alone and can stay dressed all I want,when I am not working.I am en femme at all times,but usually just lounge around in shorts and a tank top.Sometimes just bra,forms and panties(with wig and lipstick at all times,of course).I get dressed up in a dress or skirt and blouse probably 2 or 3 times a week,when the mood strikes.As far as I go out is my own yard,though.I'm pretty lucky as neighbors go.I have a gay couple on one side,so they won't judge me,and the lady on the other side,who I've actually spoken with en femme,rarely comes out.It works out really well.Barbara

[Jeanna]

yes, I know that Melissa (great name by the way). I realise I am giving him way too much power over this small aspect of my life and if I told him, I'm sure he wouldn't even blink.



Melissa

Do you wonder if he already knows?

[JamieG]

Melissa, I definitely think the less freedom I have to dress, the more I want to. Perhaps its an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing.

[linda allen]

.......Does anyone else find that if you want to dress but cant for whatever reason (family, no shoes or wig or whatever the issue is), then that amplifies your desire to do it?
And then conversely if you find you have complete freedom, do you maybe over compensate initially and go a little crazy but then find a level that is a lot less?
.

Nope on both counts. I recently spent a week visiting my inlaws. Other than my panties, I did not wear anything feminine.

[ReineD]

Nope on both counts. I recently spent a week visiting my inlaws. Other than my panties, I did not wear anything feminine.

That's just one week!

How would you feel if you were married to a woman who could not come to understand the CDing at all and who said that she did not want you to crossdress not even if you were away or she was away!

Or, if you had a locker somewhere with all your stuff in it and a place to change, but you could only get to it for a few hours each month else she'd wonder where you were.

[Sheren Kelly]

As in most any topic here, there are exceptions.
I would theorize that if your crossdressing has a sexual component, it is understandable that the desire increases when the opportunity is denied. Howeve if your GD is identity based, the more freedom to express your preferred gender, the more you want that freedom.

[Ellanore G.G.]

This seems to be the case for my Husband.
It seems the more time he gets " kids away and im at work "
The less time he spends dressed.
Today perfect opportunity .
House to himself all morning until evening.
A few years back he would have been so excited, planning and pruning.
Today I come home after work , and hes still in his shed , building a workbench ?
Not sure why he does this, but he amazes me everytime .
Dont know if its age, or if the buzz of being caught is gone, as I no longer mind what he has on when I come home.
But he sure baffles me at times.