So I asked my ex who was very cooperative with my crossdressing whether I should keep shaving my legs over the summer.
Her answer was simply what did I prefer which has been keeping it shaved.
This runs into the problem that I either wear pants all summer to hide my legs (and my tattoo) from my parents or let them think what they want.
Thinking about it, I really found myself wanting to just live my life. I'm 27 and my parents who won't accept my crossdressing but I'll just wear shorts and girl socks and let them open the issue.
I become very deferring with my parents though, but I don't want to lie to them. I really if it comes down to it want them to know.
Compounding the issue: my parents don't really know that I'm not a Christian anymore and they don't know about my tattoo.
This has become a wall of hiding things from them, hiding my opinions about religion, hiding my opinions about LGBT issues and finally withholding the facts of my crossdressing.
I want to be who I am and honestly am ready to become less deferring deceitfully to them and show them who I really am behind a wall of casual nods and a disheartened "yeah" in agreement with them saying certain things I'd rather say no to.
Do my parents need to know I'm a crossdresser? No, but it'll help my moms fears I know she has that I'm transgendered after she found a stash of my supposedly owned by my ex clothing but really was mine.
There's a multitude of issues here. It shouldn't matter that I am not transgendered and it'd be somewhat of a relief to her fears. My aunt was born Allen but has changed her name to Alicia and has had a sex change operation.
I want to be able to stick up for my aunt against an opinion that what she did is somehow terribly wrong and if you do the math of their beliefs is damning her to hell.
I know this isn't a war but there's a lot of emotions that come up with all of this and I don't want to just suddenly appear in front of my parents with a girls bad religion shirt and be like "I'm a crossdressing nonchristian, deal with it."
My solution is to take baby steps. Wear girl socks. Wear shorts that reveal my shaved legs (oh god it's hard with blonde leg hair) and keep wearing my LGBT ally pin on my jacket.
My mom honestly knows but is in denial.
I'm planning to go to school in girls clothing cause I don't care what people at school think too much. Just to test the waters of dealing with people's reactions and how my parents may react when they hypothetically confront me about my shaved legs.
Thoughts? Concerns?
This is taking a toll on my thinking abilities right now and just writing this out has been a good mind flush of why I'm so bent out of shape about this.