Makeover Opportunity

[Kirsty]

Hi All,
Some quick background... I've been married for 17 years... my wife knows but
hates that I want to crossdress. I hardly ever get to because I am never at home alone enough to do so... I have had my own clothes before but purged ( I know... the wrong thing)... I buried it for about 3-4 years but Kirsty knocked on the door recently
and I welcomed her in.

Now my wife and I had a big heart to heart... the upshot is I'm "allowed" to wear panties... which I'm really bad about (once the kids are in bed) because just like
I do as a guy I just wander around in a t shirt and underwear... but I make sure she knows which I'm wearing... I guess my thought process is to build up her acceptance

Anyway that was a month ago... I have a possible trip to Atlanta planned which
would be just me on my own, I have found out that there are 2 people in the
area that do Makeovers. I really really want to know what I look like, but I'm
afraid it will well and truly let the Kirsty out of the bottle.....

My other concern is should I tell my wife what I'm going to do? Should I wait till after (you know... in case I look so fabulous she can't resist letting me dress when I want) or just leave it alone.. I have a problem of being honest and I really want
to share this with her... but if I tell her and she says no it will ruin everything..

Really just looking for advice from those who have been there before me

Thanks in advance

Kirsty

[Beverley Sims]

You could tell her that you want to dress in private whilst away and see how she reacts.
Do your thing whilst away and get a makeover.
But telling too much could overwhelm her and she would imagine the worst.
It is deceitful but if your desires are strong it is better than coming full out or hiding it altogether.
Do not think she is going to accept you dressed because you look fabulous.

[Deborah Kaye]

I agree with Beverly about the telling your SO, but I would also get the makeover if at all possible. I know when those thoughts begin to grow in my mind they continue to haunt me till I act on them. The thoughts are there and I believe acting on them is the long term rational thing to do. Kirsty is already here, so enjoy her side of you and go on from there.

[Noel Chimes]

When is the last time you and your wife sat down and talked about Kristy? You need to know exactly where she stands on the issue. Deception can be a death blow to a marriage. Since you are going out of town, where the chances of running into anyone you know are slim, go for it. Perhaps take a few pics as a reminder of your trip. However, keep the communication lines open, but don't overload her. Let your wife know she is all you ever wanted and needed, and that dressing is something that is in you and wants to come out. Just don't rush things. Let your wife decide how far is too far.

[Kirsty]

You could tell her that you want to dress in private whilst away and see how she reacts.
Do your thing whilst away and get a makeover.
But telling too much could overwhelm her and she would imagine the worst.
It is deceitful but if your desires are strong it is better than coming full out or hiding it altogether.
Do not think she is going to accept you dressed because you look fabulous.

Thanks Bev,
That actually sounds like a great way to approach it, I know she won't be happy
about me dressing at all but hopefully by being honest with her she will understand that
I am trying to make everyone happy.

Oh and the bit about her accepting me cause I look fabulous should have had after it

[Kirsty]

When is the last time you and your wife sat down and talked about Kristy? You need to know exactly where she stands on the issue. Deception can be a death blow to a marriage. Since you are going out of town, where the chances of running into anyone you know are slim, go for it. Perhaps take a few pics as a reminder of your trip. However, keep the communication lines open, but don't overload her. Let your wife know she is all you ever wanted and needed, and that dressing is something that is in you and wants to come out. Just don't rush things. Let your wife decide how far is too far.

It was about a month ago, I had pushed that life away for a long time but a recent event that required me
to wear tights (and therefore a pair of panties I had shoved to the back of my drawer... I mean you can't wear boy underwear with tights ) So that let Kirsty back out, and then more underwear was purchased...

So we had it out... It took a couple of days actually. Her final decision was she could cope with the panties but did
not like it, and she didn't want to see me dressed or to have to think about me doing it.

I think Bev's idea sound like a good approach... I am going to ask her how she wants to handle what I do
if she is not here or I am away... would she prefer I say nothing.. would she like to know? We need to have some ground rules I think

Thank you Noel

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'll be kind of contrary, but I know it is risky, both for me and for you.

Since you are "'allowed' to wear panties", you're clearly asking for permission, not forgiveness.

If you ask for permission to have a makeover, what happens if you don't receive permission? Will you / can you forgo the opportunity, or will you regret it for a long time.

As another thought, if you get a makeover, why waste it in the closet (or the makeup studio)? From my personal experience, you'll never look so feminine on your own. So, plan on going out.

Yes, I'm a trouble maker, yes, I didn't ask permission, yes, I did the makeover, yes, I went out, and yes, I met other CDers. Both times.

But only you can evaluate your personal risks. Permission or forgiveness?

[Kirsty]

Just a little update, we are now in Day 3 of our "Discussion" about dressing while away from home alone.

One of the problems for her is she does not understand why I need to, she asked me what I intend doing while I'm dressed... not in the best way either "What are you going to do? Dress up, look at yourself in the mirror and j**k off? Then what?"

To be honest I don't know what the answers are... I know I want to... but beyond that I have no clue.
And to answer the question... while wearing something sexy does turn me on, I went past the point of
this being about getting aroused a long time ago.
Sometimes I wish it was all still as simple as that, then at least that would be explainable.. It's not entirely her
fault for not understanding, I haven't been able to explain it in easy to understand terms because I just don't
know.