Question for our most senior members (age 60 or over to reply)

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

First of all, I hope the moderators don't find this post to be offensive in any way. If so, I can understand if it's deleted.

I'm 60, and "things" don't work the way they used to. My doc gave me some testosterone cream but it only increased my anxiety levels and I stopped using it. My wife and I are no longer interested in sex. Life is much better for us without it. Being retired I've become the dressed housewife so she can come home from work without a care to keep up the house.

This has also made me more wanting to live my life as a woman. I'm very sure I won't make a full transition but I am also sure I can live the role as a woman. I've already experimented going out and confiding in friends who know and accept me for who I am. I love shopping for myself and treating myself to some wonderful styles of clothing and being a woman more full time. I feel more like a woman and doing the things a woman does like going to the salon or things like shopping. I love being with the women instead of my male friends. Does this make sense?

It seems like I'm really starting to take a greater interest in just being a woman.

I'm just wondering if I'm experiencing later life in the same way as other more mature CD's when "things" seem to fade and shrink away.

It wouldn't matter at this point if I had some "partial surgery" to remove "the boys" because it just wouldn't matter.

Over 60 replies welcomed!

Cheryl Ann

[Paula287]

Hi Cheryl
I'm 62 and retired (unfortunately single) and I can relate so much to what you've written. Although I'm very much still in the closet, when I dress I feel so much like this is what I should be. I would love very much to have breasts and and I've used some progesterone creams and even sent away for estrogen pills but I got nervous whe I realized that they may not be safe to take. I feel that I could live very nicely if I didn't have all that "junk" between my legs and my panties would fit better too,, lol ,,,
I'm not sure if its the male menopause,,, lack of testosterone ( my doc says my levels are 'normal') or just that I'm so comfortable being in touch with my feminine side but I really enjoy wearing a sundress, or a skirt and blouse. I enjoy wearing panties and keeping my body fairly smooth and clear of hair.. I too also feel better socializing with the women rather than the men.
I think you're very lucky to have a Lady who sympathizes with your feelings. So enjoy and everything you've written makes sens.

Paula

[Persephone]

Dear Cheryl,

I suspect that you are not that much different from the rest of us "seniors." I assume that you have had crossdressing desires and crossdressing activities during the course of your entire life and that you do not "suddenly" find yourself beginning to crossdress.

I suspect that as we age our desires to fulfill our gender expectations increase, our opportunities for expression increase (particularly once we retire), and, frankly, we no longer give a damn, so we have more ability to be ourselves.

It may, or may not, have anything to do with our actual "things." Mine no longer function precisely as they did when I was in my 20's but a recent check of my T levels showed that they were, sadly, normal for a male my age.

The bottom line: Enjoy yourself! If you and your spouse are comfortable, that's what mostly matters.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Hi Paula! Let's come out of the closet together, back to back ready to kick some in the butt! That's my attitude anyway! Ya know, who cares what anyone thinks as long as we have our securities? IE financial and other supports. I'm finding other bodily changes such as hair which which is not growing like it used to. Yippee! I've been shaving and most recently my arms which are looking far more feminine. This is a change I'm enjoying! My friend who had SRS and is a few years younger than me tells me that she has discovered far better orgasms having all that junk removed. I guess it doesn't get much better.

Persehone, I'm realizing that my gender expression is not about sex but instead about being WHO I am. That's far more important. I feel more like a woman today than I ever have. I like all there is about being a woman. Whatever is between my legs is a non-issue. But I'd love to be rid of it, forget it, and enjoy being who I am. At this point I don't care where my T levels are. If they are low, which I know they are, so be it and let me enjoy my actualization! Maybe my doc will prescribe estrogen? I hope!

I love being....
Cheryl Ann

(It just seems to get better!)

[cyndyw]

I'm 77 and still sexually involved with my wife once or twice a week. Most of my crossdressing is in my head. My wife knowns I'm turned on by thinking of crossdressing. At my age I would make an ugly women but in my head I feel and need to go out dressed as a attractive women. Fortunately I've had a few good times going out dressed as a women even once with my wife. I'm so lucky to have a wife who loves and needs me !!! Many of our friends are not as fortunate.

[daarleane]

Hi, I m 76,married and retired. My T levels are normal but I have also had prostate cancer so sex is not an issue. I have always been very active and a DIY type. As I get older though it seems like nature is telling me that I need to put those things behind me and enjoy my feminine feelings. Even in my bowling group I am the only male on a otherwise all ladies team ,although I do enjoy talking and meeting with the other men who are in the group. I do not however have the opportunity to dress much due to grandchildren being present most of the time. I think I would love to dress most of the time and go out shopping, eating etc but responsibilities take priority. I don't want to become a full time woman but I fear that my effectiveness as a man has diminished and I would just be more comfortable as a women (if that makes sense).

[Lynn Marie]

I'm nearly 70 and quite happily unattached. I'm still sexualy adequate with the right person although I'm not actively seeking her at the moment. I'm quite content living alone, dressing when I like, going where I like, when I like, and in which ever mode I like. Life has never been so good.

[Dawn cd]

I find that the senior years push me more toward the feminine. People no longer expect me to be macho. Being retired, I don't have to present myself as male at the office. The kids are raised and have left the nest. I'm losing hair on my legs (yea!). And who really cares anymore what people think? True, I can no longer wear young missy fashions. I wear briefs instead of thongs, 1X blouses instead of size 14, flats instead of heels. This doesn't mean that I've pulled back. I am more femme now than I was at age 30.

[suchacutie]

Testosterone is just above average and at almost 63 I can't say that everything works exactly as it did when I was 20, but in some ways it all works better!

Then again, in my 20s I didn't know that Tina existed. I do now, and I do find myself thinking about Tina alot, but that could be only because Tina has been around for only 8 years.

Seems that I haven't experienced the situation in the op....hmmm, think I'll go find my wife!

[Tracii G]

60 here and not interested in sex much at all.For me sex just leads to a relationship with a woman, been there done that and it never turned out good for me.
I like living alone no one to answer to and go when and where I want.
If the "boys" were gone I'd be fine with that to be honest they are just in the way so to speak.

[GaleWarning]

I'm 62 and am consciously living on the straight and narrow path, which means that I do not muck about any more.
The tackle still works (I still wake up with a stiffie every now and then) and I will only stop admiring pretty girls the day AFTER I die.
But here's the thing ... sex really is less important now than it was, say, five years ago when my blood still ran wild.
I am content.
There is nothing to be gained by cutting off your goolies. Surgery always carries risk. I'd advise you to keep them.

[Leah Lynn]

I like living alone no one to answer to and go when and where I want.
If the "boys" were gone I'd be fine with that to be honest they are just in the way so to speak.

I'm 61 and totally agree. I'm not a candidate for the little blue pill due to heart problems, so sex is a nonissue. And I can't win the lotto, so I can't afford the surgery. Don't ask; my insurance won't touch it.

Leah

[mikiSJ]

I thought 60 was the new 30??? (I am 66, so I must be over the hill!)

Testosterone is not always the reason for low performance. Desire, vascular and neurological issues all start to hit around mid to late 50s. Also, getting rid of the bits while you are still married may create an entirely different dynamic in your life you need to think out before you do anything you can't reverse.

You sound like a good candidate for caring and knowledgeable counseling.

[Michelle 51]

I'm 62 and I think we reach a point where we can relax a bit after doing the guy thing all our lives.I've had to work and live as a guy all my life .I needed a job and a stable home for my children.Now it has changed.My children have grown up and living their own lives.I'm still married to the same woman after all these years but if that was to change I could live alone very easily.I would have never considered getting rid of the guy stuff.Now it don't matter.My panties would fit better.I was very macho for yrs Mustache,goatee and army style short hair. Now I've had laser treatment and grown my hair out in a uni-sex style.I spend all my time at home dressed as michelle.I don't need to wear that mask like when I was younger.I let my femme side out now and not as concerned what people think.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im over 65 just a woman who's a little different , a member of many groups both women only & mixed for myself its not about clothes or the glamour side as most dresser's like , i live life to the full have many women around me so we do many different things & go to lots of places , though in two groups we dress in olden times & have a lot of fun, Im very involved with our groups ,

As to relastionships that has been with one person Jos for 39 years & of cause our family of 15, soon to be 17.

It will depend on a number of things for you how you see your self & how you wont to interact with people joining groups being a part of them & what interests you have, the other point is in community, how out going you are & what standing you have with in groups & the community at large ,

As to surgeys thats another matter, As well as H R T, the older one gets the less the effect though your body does need T or E to maintain the body,

...noeleena...

[Claire Cook]

I'll be 70 this year. There's no doubt that I'm dressing more, and enjoying it a whole lot more. I don't have to worry about looking like this sexy young thing. I read somewhere that as both sexes age, the physical differences between them become less obvious, which is fine by me. I'm no longer offended when an SA asks me "Ma'am, would you like the senior discount?"

That said, our sex (we've been married for 40+ years) is actually getting better. The equipment wasn't working like it used to, so I went on Cialis about 7 years ago. At first it was a great help, but after several years it had little effect. The stuff isn't cheap, and Medicare didn't pay for it. So the sex suffered. Then last year I discovered Pos-T-Vac -- which works for me, and was fully covered by Medicare . (Who says Uncle Sam doesn't want seniors to have sex?)

So now we have the best of both worlds!

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us , especially as we get older, find comfort in fulfilling the role of a woman. It's not all about dressing up and looking pretty. It is about listening to the needs of others, caring and sharing and giving of ourselves for the most part. That is what a true woman does. If we do these things, we will be very much loved and appreciated.

[Claire Cook]

Kate, yes, thanks for posting this. When I said above that I'm enjoying it more, this is very much a part of that.

[sami1952]

i'm 60 and fully understand where you are coming from. Hitting the retirement age has given me the urge to live as a woman full time, to old to transition so i just dress.just enjoy what ever time we have.

[Claire Cook]

Actually, the more I think about this, the more I'm wondering: are there any of us who dress LESS than we did before 60?

[Laura912]

Do not dress less and probably a little more frequently. No desire at age 71 to go further that am currently. Just have the time to do things with spouse, things I want to do, and don't have to attend any more meetings!!

[Sandra1746]

Thanks for starting it Cheryl Ann. I too am one of the "seniors"; I'll be 67 next month. I came "out" to my wife almost 2 years ago and after a bit of a rough patch all is pretty smooth now and she accepts my dressing quite well.

I am doing what might be called a non-surgical transition. I am on Estradiol patches for GID and for high-T reasons. I had testicular cysts that seemed related to a high T level last year and was able to get the Estradiol prescription that addressed both problems. Sexual relations have been minimal for years so the 'chemical castration' effects of estradiol aren't an issue. Reducing the excess T really had a calming effect on my mood.

What I really enjoy is the freedom to dress around home and the ability to go out in a "plain Fem" mode of dress as well. It is a chance to express myself that I wasn't able to do for decades. Age and retirement are a positive development here.

Best wishes,
Sandra1746

[Tina B.]

Just turned 69 this year, have been retired for 7 years now, and find I have a lot more time to play with all the clothes I've been buying for years, I always felt a little guilty, on all I spent on clothes, that seldom got worn, no more, no days I can really wear things out form using them so much. I would hate to have to return to the work force, and give it all up. Sec drive may be down, but gender drive is running on high! No desire to live my life as a women, but do like spending my days that way!

[Barbra P]

I’ll be seventy in August and I can relate with a lot of what is being written here. I take a couple of medications for BPH including Finasteride, that had some lovely side effects in the beginning; sadly the side effects have mostly disappeared. I also have rather high T-levels which I’m told may be the cause of my BPH, or at least a contributing factor, and also increases the risk of developing prostate cancer. Last year, after consulting with a Doctor, my Therapist recommended estrogen as she thought it would both reduce my anxiety as well as address my prostate problems. She wanted to schedule an appointment with an Endocrinologist but my Wife said no, something that still bothers me. I have to admit that any increase in my breasts, or other feminizing effects, would be frosting on the cake.

A Bi-Lateral Orchiectomy is one treatment for prostate cancer and if the cancer hasn’t spread usually stops it in its tracks. It is also a procedure used to prevent prostate cancer from occurring, although Orchiectomy surgery is not used much in the States. I’d opt for it but it is not an option through my medical provider (HRT however is). The operation is rather simple and the only major side effects are the loss of major testosterone production and sterility (not a concern at my age – I don’t want any more children).

My Wife isn’t particularly supportive and she doesn’t like me to go out enfemme, but she does tolerate my dressing about one day a week. The exceptions to going out enfemme are those occasions when I go to see my Therapist enfemme – something I haven’t done for some months. When I do dress it is usually rather casual, flats or sandals rather than heels as heels seem to put a lot of pressure on my knees (one of which has already been replaced); I miss heels and I like the look of heels and jeans. The other day it was warm enough that I chose to wear a skort rather than jeans (d@mn do I need some sun on my legs), topped with a new drape-necked print blouse. My wig is getting a little long in the tooth and I need to start thinking about acquiring a new one; maybe one with some gray in it, just to address age appropriateness.

[CynthiaD]

Like many people my around my age (64) I find that I care less and less about what other people think of me. That has made dressing a lot easier. If the guy next door thinks I'm gay, so what? I know who I am. I have a lifetime of accomplishments and experiences behind me. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, and if I want to wear a dress, I'm darn well going to.