I've never really wanted to before. I was happy to just dress around the house. But now I want to put on a pretty wig, blouse, skirt, shoes and even accessories and go out on the town. What's wrong with me?!?!?!
Gwendolyn
I've never really wanted to before. I was happy to just dress around the house. But now I want to put on a pretty wig, blouse, skirt, shoes and even accessories and go out on the town. What's wrong with me?!?!?!
Gwendolyn
nothing is wrong with you i think it's just a natural progression i didn't want to go out eith an then one day POOF i wanted to go out
Just a guess based on your postings along with so many others here. I believe that you [like so many here] feel guilty or ashamed somewhat for thinking yourself "attractive" when dressed. Going out into the RW [and more importantly"passing"] with other folks is a way of affirming you are not delusional for what you see when you look in the mirror at home.
Their IS a reason for the popularity of the Pic and Vid Forum here.
Nothing is wrong with you. For a long time I felt very content to dress on my own inside, but I realized I wanted to feel like a "real" person, and for me being more real meant taking those steps outside the house.
You have nothing wrong with you.
You are going through a natural progression and as long as you practice your presentation there is no reason that you will be unacceptable to go out into the world.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Nothing wrong with you! It's safe to be dressed inside our home, but there comes a time we want to spread our wings and fly. I'm feeling some pressure myself. I've been out a couple times before and the anxiety is a killer. It's like being a cat when you detect strangers coming to your house who could potentially harm you.
I went to my hair stylist partially dressed last Friday. She first checked with the salon owner to see how she'd feel about "the guy who is in counseling to explore living his life as a woman." The owner was fine. The feedback after was even better. They want me to come back dressed!
If you can, and you feel safe enough, get dressed to the nines and take a stroll at night. Baby steps my friend! All of us who have ventured out had to build our confidence a little at a time. If your nervous people can pick up on that. Go out with the attitude that you are a woman and could care less of what people think. There's more to it but study all you can here from other posts.
Here I'm giving advice that I should be taking myself! I have to build my confidence too! Best wishes to you!
Cheryl Ann
Great advice from previous posts! IMO your femme side has reached a point to satisfy your need to go out to display who you are, and if you "pass". Many of us have gone out for the first time on an evening walk, or a stop at the mini mart, or to mail a letter - just to get out. Dress in whatever outfit is appropriate for GGs in your age group and area. Do not over do your makeup or hair style. Best to "blend in". Wherever you decide to go -please be safe!
You became a member here.... puts all kinds of wacko notions into your head.... Run away and don't look back.....
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Yeah! Look what happened to me!
nothing is wrong with you! i felt exactly the same way you do, until i joined this forum. i never even considered going out and was happy to just dress at home.
after reading the many wonderful stories and posts from other members i began to gain some confidence and suddenly had the urge to go out. the very first time i planned on going out, i literally stood at the front door for 8 hours, not being able to turn the door knob. i never made it out that day and was so disappointed in myself. i hated the way i felt and swore that would never happen again. my second attempt was better. only took about a half hour before i could open the door. each outting got better and i have never been happier. i only wish i started going out years ago.
from my experience i can tell you to go at your own pace. baby steps do lead to bigger steps. maybe for your first outting just sit in your backyard, or take a short walk or just drive around in the car for awhile. then build on that. go to malls or stores on slow nights right before closing when there are no crowds. you will gain confidence from this.
in time you will not be scared from crowds of people. you will just blend and be one in many.
i do wish you the very best of luck and hope that you finally do get out...you won't regret it!!
i've only been going out since october, so feel free to message me with questions or advice...
paula
I think at some time we all get the urge to go out in the world, even if we never act on it. For me I started playing with make-up and thought I looked pretty good and worked up the courage to go to Payless for shoe shopping. The first time was a disaster, my outfit didn't compliment my body type at all and I was read pretty easily and on the way out they were staring and laughing through the windows. It took me a long time to work my courage up to do it again but I wore a much better outfit and had nothing but positve experiences since. I have been back into the Payless several times and no one even batted an eye.
Gwinnie,
Yes, it is a perfectly natural desire. But you didn't mention your circumstances. Are you in a relationship? Will your spouse/SO be O.K. with you going out?
We make it look easy around here, and I worry that sometimes it looks too easy. Kinda like those 4-wheel SUV ads that show them running through the snow and the mud and that are captioned "Closed course, professional driver." You know how many people get stuck trying that stuff 'cause it looks so easy?
Paula just posted a great item about what it takes to open that door and I'm sure all of us know those feelings.
But when that golden moment comes, when you feel ready, go for it!
Oh, and Momma Persephone has one more bit of advice -- please do not take excessive risks -- do not go walking down dark alleys alone in the middle of the night. Go places that GG's would go. Again, Paula nailed it -- your back yard, a car ride, someplace safe.
You are a priveleged person who has the special gift of a dual spirit, when you are ready, enjoy it!
Hugs,
Persephone
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Nothing wrong, I think for most of us its a natural progression. I went a long time before i ventured out dressed. Now I can't wait to have the opportunity. Of course it is easier for me since I don't need a SO's permission (widowed).
Yeah I was OK with just thinking I was some kind of perve .. just wanting to dress in womens clothes all the time and repressing it just seemed like the thing to do-- but then I joined here -- and found there's a whole lot of us perev types running around in womans clothes --- and why not ? you can talk yourself into anything if you want to ---- so here you are !! just go with or do as Karren suggested...................Debra
Nothing at all. I think it's natural to want to experience the world outside ...en femme and to interact with people. I can attest that it's great fun!
Nothing, of course! It's perfectly natural to want to express yourself to world outside, even though its a lot of fun to dress up at home too. The real question is, when and where?
so what stoping you from going out/?
/
I won't start a passing vs blending dialogue but don't set a self-imposed requirement that you pass before you go out. It really doesn't matter if you do or don't pass. Just enjoy the next stage of your journey.
Nothing is wrong with you. You just want to feel free to express who you are.
Erica
i felt that way before my first time. now i go out all the time and dont even care any more hehe...
the trick is to just have fun, bring a friend, laugh a lot, and dont even pay attention to what anyone else is looking at!
who is the real loser? the one who is acting silly and having a great time, or the person scolding at anything abnormal
Go out, Go out. I felt stuck inside and couldnt move on. Going out the first time was amazing, and the right thing to do. Just a walk. Just make sure your good with the shoes you wearing. I went arse over tit, but the feeling of being out and about will stay with you forever. You go girl.
The first time is very very hard. The second time is almost as hard. Each time it gets a little easier and eventually it is no big deal. For me it is practice as I want to live this way some day and I am taking steps every day, and part of that is going out and doing whatever it is I need to do.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Karen , your a nut. Too funny. I agree. LOL. I am gone.
As far the original question, we do what we feel. Case closed.
~Marcella~
Not a thing wrong with you. Like so many of us we have this desire to be accepted as part of society, not just dress behind the safety of our 4 walls.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I've had this desire lately to. I think mainly because of all the creeps on craigslist since I've been trying to meet some other "girl"friends. So, the one day I got a little too loaded after happy hour with some friends. Anyway, this certainly greased the wheels so to speak of me going out because I came home got all dulled up, took a shot of cheap vodka, and headed to the local gay bar that other dressers frequent. It was kinda fun and I met some other dressers that I had a good conversation with. And I only tripped in my 5'' heels once
Posting Permissions
