R U this kind of CD? R there many of us here with no "female side"?

[docrobbysherry]

After joining cd.com 5+ years ago, I read a lot about everyone's, "fem side". It all sounded so wonderful! I waited patiently and expectantly for my "fem side" to finally appear. But, after all these years, I've given up waiting for her to show!

Apparently, I am simply, "a man who likes to dress in women's clothes". I look at the woman I become in the mirror. And, I imagine what that image would feel like if I were her. But, ALL my perspective seems to be from a male's point of view! No fem views or feelings that I'm aware of.

A recent thread asked how we, "---- CD's, embrace both our male and female sides"? Which seemed quite presumptuous to me. Because she assumed we all have both. Made me feel left out. Once again!
And, after some thot, that all sounds a bit more like a TS issue than a CD one to me?

I am the only one here that's not conscious of having a female side?

[~Joanne~]

A recent thread asked how we, "---- CD's, embrace both our male and female sides"? Which seemed quite presumptuous to me. Because she assumed we all have both. Made me feel left out. Once again!

I am so sorry Doc I didn't mean for it to come across that way. I didn't think that deep into and like I said my wording choices were surly piss poor.

I do feel that I have a femme side. It's what drives me to dress, shop, shave, and take care of myself better than if I only had a male side. The two sides make the whole though so I wouldn't have it any other way but that's where the femme side stops. I think that if it didn't stop there then yes I would be moving towards the TS side of things but I do not have that inner conflict.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Come on, Doc. Are you just poking a stick in the cage for some here? Before they lower the boom, you can see that both of us joined this forum in 2007, and I am still just a man in a dress.

Liz

[Frédérique]

I am the only one here that's not conscious of having a female side?

Nope. Count me in. I don’t have a female “side,” either. How come you and I aren’t friends?

I'm just a man in a dress. Always was, and always will be...

[Lisa Gerrie]

It seems to me that a masculine or feminine "side" exists only when we consciously try to hide part of ourselves. If we feel that we need to conceal certain traits or thoughts, we have no choice but to manage them as a separate -- separatable -- part of our personality.

There is only one person living between my ears, no matter how it feels sometimes.

[Karren H]

I don't take sides or have them..... I have one side with male and female tendencies.... attributes that blur and smoosh together..... Not quite a man in a dress.... not quite a woman in a dress suit and wing tips.....

[k lynn]

I don't take sides or have them..... I have one side with male and female tendencies.... attributes that blur and smoosh together..... Not quite a man in a dress.... not quite a woman in a dress suit and wing tips.....

This is also the way I feel no wing tips just boots

[I Am Paula]

I had a male side and a female side. I 'accidentaly' left the male side in Sears tool dept. I never went back to get it.

[DonnaT]

I can don a skirt and get the satisfaction of relieving my need to crossdress. I do not need the makeup and wig. Not that I don't like the makeup and wig, but can be happy as a man in a dress.

Do I have a fem side? Well, I believe I am transgender, or bigender, so I most likely do have a fem side, but I've never thought of myself as a woman, not even close.

I've elaborated more at http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...but-what-gives!

[Jason+]

Nope. Count me in. I don’t have a female “side,” either. How come you and I aren’t friends?

I'm just a man in a dress. Always was, and always will be...

And Frédérique has more eloquently and as accurately described me as I can.

Many others have essentially stated their personalized version of "I am just me." I agree! I have a set of traits and characteristics that the infamous "they" forgot to ask me about when assigning them to feminine or masculine categories. I've had times where I felt more particularly pretty than others but I've never looked in the mirror and said "Man I feel like a Woman today or even spectacularly feminine. Decorum of course must be observed based on the hemline height of the garment, feminine or not.

[Monique53]

I know with me it is all about the clothes! I don't try to present as a female,but, wear feminine things just because its fun and exciting to do so. Maybe, it's the "Taboo" factor and gives me a little spice to my perceived booring life. I have to admit that I like to see others reactions when they notice my bright red toenails, while wearing women's sandals or that they notice that I have boobs and I'm wearing a bra, even though I have no makeup or wig to disguise my obvious maleness. Each of us has our own ideas and goals when CDing and there is no specific template for any of us. If that were the case, then we are right back to the expectations of society's norms for what is proper for each gender. I consider myself a rebel and I'm gonna do what I want to. You only live once so I feel that I will do whatever I like because I am my own person and don't have to explain my actions or motivations to anyone!!

Monique

[Wonderwho]

I am all in with you, the whole stack of chips on Red. The fact that I am here has allowed me to see what the other side is doing.
No matter wat way the mirror is facing I am still just a guy in some womans clothes. I am not knocking any of this world that I am a part of but i haven't found my "femm" side anywhere.
Hang on to your wig, the s**t may hit the fan soon.

[Jenniferathome]

Nope. I'm right with you. I'm just a different kind of guy when dressed but tastes are the same.

[Beverley Sims]

I like to be fair I tend not to take sides until I know which side is winning.

[Kate Simmons]

Just one comment RS. If we truly get in touch with all of our feelings and take ownership of them, the whole becomes greater than the sum of it's parts, any "sides" notwithstanding. Besides I have a "magic" GL ring, so can become anything I want to at any given time.

[Taylor Ray]

This thread reminds me of Jung's theories of the unconscious, which he did attribute both male and female aspects to, the so-called 'anima' and 'animus'.

While I tend to regard many psychological theories with a bit of scepticism, I do believe in the idea of integrating aspects of the unconscious with our conscious life. For me, this means the commitment to follow my crossdressing urges wherever they lead me. In allowing the expression of my urges, I feel that aspects of my self become more integrated over time. If one finds the conceptual duality of masculine/feminine to be a help in their process, well, anything that is a help is positive. But might not the conceptual lens be a filter? and can we hope that it doesn't become something so rigid that it binds us?

[Lucy_Bella]

Doc, I've been here for five years also ,even tho my tag doesn't show it ( because I was kicked outta here so many times).. What would you consider as having a female side? Do you have to .talk like one? Do girl things? I guess I don't see where you are coming from.. Do you have to act like a woman while presenting only as dressed like one and act like a male while dressed as a man? Or never act like a female even though you dress to resemble one ?

I get the just of not having a female side as in my life in general ..I hate shopping or anything that's typically stereo typed as what women do..I just act human I do not act any different no matter what I am wearing .. I am just being myself and I think that is all that should be important..

[docrobbysherry]

Doc, I've been here for five years also ,even tho my tag doesn't show it ( because I was kicked outta here so many times).. What would you consider as having a female side? Do you have to .talk like one? Do girl things? I guess I don't see where you are coming from.. Do you have to act like a woman while presenting only as dressed like one and act like a male while dressed as a man? Or never act like a female even though you dress to resemble one ?

I get the just of not having a female side as in my life in general ..I hate shopping or anything that's typically stereo typed as what women do..I just act human I do not act any different no matter what I am wearing .. I am just being myself and I think that is all that should be important..

This is an excellent, thot provoking, post, Lucy! Since I was simply a man for all those years, I've ASSUMED a female thot or feeling would be apparent to me now. But, never being a female, I'm not sure I'd recognize it!

How does one KNOW when you're having a fem thot or feeling from your fem side if you're not a female?

[Lucy_Bella]

This is an excellent, thot provoking, post, Lucy! Since I was simply a man for all those years, I've ASSUMED a female thot or feeling would be apparent to me now. But, never being a female, I'm not sure I'd recognize it!

How does one KNOW when you're having a fem thot or feeling from your fem side if you're not a female?

Doc. That's just what I've been saying..Most of us wouldn't know if we act differently specially those of us who dress alone.. Unless of course we purposely try to act being Fem out ,something I know I don't do..But by dressing and wanting to get a Fem appearance in my opinion ( mine not speaking for anyone else) is getting in touch with your Fem side..

Unless you just enjoy wearing clothing with the appearance of a guy in a dress I would understand the no Fem side.. But many here ,who grow out or use hair , make up, forms and eyelashes just to name a few.. To resemble being a female kinda gives having a female side away..Nothing wrong with what any of us do..Just because we want to appear as women doesn't mean we want to become one full time..

I just so happen to like being a male there is nothing I see in the future that will ever make me not want to be male... Some people here like being female and want to become one full time..Nothing wrong with that..If there is anything we T.G.s have in common with T.S.s is we both do have Fem sides it's what drive us to dress.

[suzy1]

How does one KNOW when you're having a fem thought or feeling from your fem side if you're not a female?

You just do. That’s not a very good or scientific answer is it? In fact there is no answer unless you can teleport yourself [or whatever you want to call it] into a female brain and live there for a day or two.

But I stick to my answer and other transgender members here will know exactly what I meen!

Or are transgender people a sort of third gender. Food for thought?

[Wildaboutheels]

Wearing various "female" clothing items, does not mean one has a female side, is trying to be feminine, or is trying to pass as a female. And it makes no difference whether they ever leave their house. They are JUST clothes to some folks.

Being a man is so much easier and simpler and I live and will die by the KISS principle.

And as everyone knows, [but some refuse to admit] there is no right or wrong way to CD.

[NicoleScott]

No female side, Doc, it's just the clothes, but I would guess that the clothes (plus the rest) have a far bigger impact on me than the casual clothes of the feminine identity dresser. Dressing is an event I like to do occasionally. Well, I'd LIKE to do it often, but GET to do it occasionally.
Wild, yes, everyone "knows" it, but some still insist that those who crossdress the wrong way sit in the back of the CDing bus with Doc and me.

[RADER]

Sherry;
I am with you on this subject. I get all dressed up and still feel like a guy in a dress.
I would think that if you where transitioning, you might or would have a more female
side to you. There are a lot of us here who just love to dress up in Female clothes.
There is nothing wrong in this, We are just enjoying the moment.
Rader

[suzy1]

I have a very real feminine side to me.
Argue with that and I will scratch your eyes out B***h.

Seriously though, I really do. Suzy is the real me

[Crissy Kay]

Yeah doc, I am pretty much the same person no matter how I am dressed.