R U this kind of CD? R there many of us here with no "female side"?

[docrobbysherry]

After joining cd.com 5+ years ago, I read a lot about everyone's, "fem side". It all sounded so wonderful! I waited patiently and expectantly for my "fem side" to finally appear. But, after all these years, I've given up waiting for her to show!

Apparently, I am simply, "a man who likes to dress in women's clothes". I look at the woman I become in the mirror. And, I imagine what that image would feel like if I were her. But, ALL my perspective seems to be from a male's point of view! No fem views or feelings that I'm aware of.

A recent thread asked how we, "---- CD's, embrace both our male and female sides"? Which seemed quite presumptuous to me. Because she assumed we all have both. Made me feel left out. Once again!
And, after some thot, that all sounds a bit more like a TS issue than a CD one to me?

I am the only one here that's not conscious of having a female side?

[~Joanne~]

A recent thread asked how we, "---- CD's, embrace both our male and female sides"? Which seemed quite presumptuous to me. Because she assumed we all have both. Made me feel left out. Once again!

I am so sorry Doc I didn't mean for it to come across that way. I didn't think that deep into and like I said my wording choices were surly piss poor.

I do feel that I have a femme side. It's what drives me to dress, shop, shave, and take care of myself better than if I only had a male side. The two sides make the whole though so I wouldn't have it any other way but that's where the femme side stops. I think that if it didn't stop there then yes I would be moving towards the TS side of things but I do not have that inner conflict.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Come on, Doc. Are you just poking a stick in the cage for some here? Before they lower the boom, you can see that both of us joined this forum in 2007, and I am still just a man in a dress.

Liz

[Frédérique]

I am the only one here that's not conscious of having a female side?

Nope. Count me in. I don’t have a female “side,” either. How come you and I aren’t friends?

I'm just a man in a dress. Always was, and always will be...

[Wonderwho]

I am all in with you, the whole stack of chips on Red. The fact that I am here has allowed me to see what the other side is doing.
No matter wat way the mirror is facing I am still just a guy in some womans clothes. I am not knocking any of this world that I am a part of but i haven't found my "femm" side anywhere.
Hang on to your wig, the s**t may hit the fan soon.

[Lisa Gerrie]

It seems to me that a masculine or feminine "side" exists only when we consciously try to hide part of ourselves. If we feel that we need to conceal certain traits or thoughts, we have no choice but to manage them as a separate -- separatable -- part of our personality.

There is only one person living between my ears, no matter how it feels sometimes.

[Karren H]

I don't take sides or have them..... I have one side with male and female tendencies.... attributes that blur and smoosh together..... Not quite a man in a dress.... not quite a woman in a dress suit and wing tips.....

[Jenniferathome]

Nope. I'm right with you. I'm just a different kind of guy when dressed but tastes are the same.

[Beverley Sims]

I like to be fair I tend not to take sides until I know which side is winning.

[Kate Simmons]

Just one comment RS. If we truly get in touch with all of our feelings and take ownership of them, the whole becomes greater than the sum of it's parts, any "sides" notwithstanding. Besides I have a "magic" GL ring, so can become anything I want to at any given time.

[Wildaboutheels]

Wearing various "female" clothing items, does not mean one has a female side, is trying to be feminine, or is trying to pass as a female. And it makes no difference whether they ever leave their house. They are JUST clothes to some folks.

Being a man is so much easier and simpler and I live and will die by the KISS principle.

And as everyone knows, [but some refuse to admit] there is no right or wrong way to CD.

[NicoleScott]

No female side, Doc, it's just the clothes, but I would guess that the clothes (plus the rest) have a far bigger impact on me than the casual clothes of the feminine identity dresser. Dressing is an event I like to do occasionally. Well, I'd LIKE to do it often, but GET to do it occasionally.
Wild, yes, everyone "knows" it, but some still insist that those who crossdress the wrong way sit in the back of the CDing bus with Doc and me.

[RADER]

Sherry;
I am with you on this subject. I get all dressed up and still feel like a guy in a dress.
I would think that if you where transitioning, you might or would have a more female
side to you. There are a lot of us here who just love to dress up in Female clothes.
There is nothing wrong in this, We are just enjoying the moment.
Rader

[suzy1]

I have a very real feminine side to me.
Argue with that and I will scratch your eyes out B***h.

Seriously though, I really do. Suzy is the real me

[Crissy Kay]

Yeah doc, I am pretty much the same person no matter how I am dressed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sherry, I tend to forget about the guy who got all the pretty things out for Orchid to get dressed up with.

[ninapuella]

I think it is healthy to not identify to much with the "female-side".

[AllyCDTV]

Nope, no fem side here. When I'm dressed and try to act feminine, that's all it is, an act. When I see myself in a mirror, it's more like, "Who's that chick in the mirror?" rather than "That is me."

[PaulaQ]

There is pretty clearly a spectrum of folks here, ranging from male identifying CDers to folks with both a masculine and feminine side, to folks who who identify as female and think the male side is. an act. I'd actually like to be in the 'male identifying' or even the 50/50 camps. Increasingly though it's becoming more clear to me that. I identify as female.

[Laura912]

An amalgam...both blended...no side to it...just moi!

[Jilmac]

Sherry, I believe that our "female" side is what we contrive in our own mind. I know full well, that I'm now, and always will be a male, however it's possible for me to portray feminine charicteristics even when I'm in drab. My female side comes out at times whether I dress or not. For many years I was deep in the closet, but dressing and enjoying the persona I saw in the mirror. During that closeted time I sported a full beard, didn't use makeup or wigs, couldn't afford a feminized body suit, but what I saw from the neck down was truly the girl I wanted to be in my mind. My feminine side is as much a part of my whole, as my heart and lungs. Perhaps your feminine side comes out when you put on your body suit and mask, and you see the girl of your dreams in the mirror.

[Deedee Skyblue]

DocRS, I am similar. I am a guy who likes to wear women's clothing. I sometimes fantasize about being a girl - but I never feel like I am a girl, or that I'm becoming more girly.

Deedee

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Doc, I'm sorry you're feeling out of place, but...you have been here long enough to realize you're not the only one like you. There have been many "I don't have a feminine side, anyone else like me?" threads over the years.

We are Multitudes....there are all kinds of transfolk here. More than one can count, ReineD recently posted a description of a tiny number of the varying kinds. That's one of the reasons I sometimes describes crossdressing or transness as "This Thing of Ours of Varying Kinds" to reinforce the point.

So yes, there are crossdressers who don't have feminine sides...it happens.

There are also crossdressers who DO have feminine sides but refuse to acknowledge they have one because the concept is "scary" to themselves in one way or another....that also happens.

And there are crossdressers who do have feminine sides and pretty much identify with women, even if they don't identify as one...that also happens.

And so on and so forth.

But the issue here is selection bias.

For one thing, crossdresers without a feminine side don't feel as much of a need for support...they tend to not join message boards like this, especially after they figure out that it's full of feminine iidentified people. They also tend to not join support groups outside of the internet.

I remember a member of a message board, might have been here, or not, who got a little frustrated at all the women on that board, and they expressed that and said they weren't referring to the TS's or GG's but to all the crossdressers who acted and thought "like chicks". This person mentioned that they didn't like traditionally femmy women in the real world and didn't want to hang around them on the internet.

I was once a member of Tri-Ess, and while almost all members of the group did identify as transgendered and said they had feminine sides, every once in a while we'd get someone who didn't showing up. It was both sad and funny to see their reactions and their faces when they realized that they were "dudes" surrounded by a bunch of people who identified with and/or as women to varying degrees. I felt sorry for them and thought "Dude, you just didn't know that Tri-Ess was full of "chicks" but now you know and you feel out of place." We never saw them again after the first meeting, sad really.

And there are LOTS of reasons that one can feel out of place. I felt out of place in Tri-Ess myself, for varying reasons.

And mentioning that one never masturbated while dressed (or at all for that matter) like the majority did, tends to get one "looks" in a CD oriented support setting. It also leads to not so subtle suggestions that one is a TS (Asexual transfolk tend to be more likely to be TS)

I can understand the feeling of feeling alone...but I know we are not alone. URNotAlone! Ha ha I made a joke.

Veronica

[sometimes_miss]

Doc, those who separate their female and male side are probably just compartmentalizing their lives rather than actually have multiple personalities; guys tend to do that to make our lives easier to deal with. Then you will have some who deep down inside, can't accept anything feminine about their 'true selves' so they put it into a separate personality which they turn on and off, often with their dressing up activities.

Me, I only have one 'side', but am careful not to display any of the female traits to the outside world. So I 'act' the part of a normal male whenever I go out of the house. Doesn't change who I am or who I feel like I am, but it makes it easier to live amongst the rest of the world.

[Ressie]

I'm so confused now, I don't know! I'm a guy, but not very macho. Like AllyCDTV, I like to act out female mannerisms when dressed. My personality can become more feminine than some woman in a way, but there's so much to being a female that I could never relate to, cuz I'm a guy.