Ok so Ive been spending a lot of time reading through threads on this site over the past 6 months and a great big thank you for all the contributions. Very good to know that others are in similar situations, your not alone, and great advice on a wide range of topics.
Thought that I should also write something as a way of a contribution so here is how I told the SO recently and her reaction.
I’d always had an interest in wearing stockings and tight clothes but the full makeup, wig etc was only in the last year. And the makeup was really from having to buy it for the SO whilst on business trips to other countries as tax free at airport. So what do you do if you often find yourself bored in hotel rooms, in a town you don’t know with lots of makeup ;o) After that tried a few times fully dressed on business trips or at home when the SO was away.
I didn’t like keep hiding things from her and from reading things on this site came to the conclusion that she had a right to know. I also thought, hoped, that she would not leave because of this. So after coming to that conclusion decided to tell her and there didn’t seem an easy way. In bed one night I just showed here the photos. Her reaction to the first few was OK so I showed her some more. Then there was one outside and she said I have gone too far. Now what was interesting was that she seemed much more upset at me using some of her stuff and going outside than what I was actually doing. It was outside but really early in the morning and I guess I wanted the trill of potentially being caught. Which since this is not my home country and we are probably going to move in a few years anyway is a less scary prospect than for most folks.
Being of a young (ish) generation probably helped a lot – mid 30’s. The fact that she is from a big city and been exposed to all walks of life from an early age. But nevertheless I get the impression that she has nothing against CDs, would probably like to speak to some and would be fun to have as friends just has more reservations about them being an SO. The only obvious thing I did to test the water re CD before I told her, was on vacation a few years ago suggesting we go to a Ladyboy Cabaret show. Which she was all up for and seemed to enjoy. Also I noticed that she watches a few TV programmes with CDs in them but one sentence she said stands out whilst commenting on some men dressed as couch potatoes and that “I can kind of understand why men would want to dress as elegant women but why this I don’t know.”
Well shortly after that I was shopping and whilst standing in line waiting to pay was next to some false eyelashes. Was wearing my normal work clothes and unshaven. Only really wanted to try the eyelashes with eye makeup. So eagerly wanting to try then went home whilst I thought she was out. I heard the key in the lock whilst I was in front of the mirror. I ran into the bathroom. Locked the door. Heart thumping. What to do? Couldn’t get the makeup off quickly and she knew something was unusual. Realised the game was up so opened the door and walked out.
Anyway she did not want to look at me, and this is another interesting thing, not because of what I was doing but because she said my eyes looked evil. Which they did with too much black eyeliner all the way around. Then all the stereotypes of CD came up, asked if I was gay or want to be a woman. To which I answered no and that I wanted to be with her.
After that she spent some time reading about CD on the internet, maybe even this site, I am not sure. She realized that this was not going away and bought some makeup removal wipes for me, since I was doing a bad job or removing it with soap and water. Also told a few of her friends which given some of their interesting history probably did not care. Even suggested one of them who is much better at makeup could do mine and that I could wear what I want as long as I actually do some housework. Her main concern seems to be me being found out by some mutual friends, neighbours or the place we both work. Now being in a liberal country, CD and gay politicians I don’t think most would care. I think the real reason is that it would reflect on her in some way.
So the rules seemed to be don’t let the neighbours see you and if your going to do makeup please do a good job!! Which I tried to do recently by going to a professional makeup artist in the nearby big city. Well that was an interesting day which cumulated in painting my nails whilst sat in the ground floor window of McDonalds but this post is too long already for that. We have not really spoken too much about CD being busy with baby. She is still away staying with her family so I have not yet shown her the latest improved photos.
Guess the main conclusions are that she appreciated my honesty and if you think your SO would be accepting you best telling her early otherwise she wont like the hidden secret you kept from her. We need to have many more conversations and I have not yet been fully dressed in front of her. One step at a time….
Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels
