Possible to work out and NOT be so masculine?

[dreamer_2.0]

Hi Everyone,

I haven't been on the forum in ages but am starting to frequent the gym and was looking for some input. I apologize if this thread is in the wrong section of the site and will gladly move it if necessary.

I'm 31 years old and 126 lbs. I don't want to bulk up into some beefy dude but would much prefer a leaner, toned, body thus easier to feminize. In other words, I want to work out but stay as small as possible.

1) Is this feasible or am I, by default, cursed by my male body? I recognize the obvious differences between male and female bodies.

2) Should I focus on mostly cardio or should weight training be included as well? Perhaps lower weight but high repetitions?

3) Should I do exercises geared towards women instead of men? Would that actually make a difference?

4) Diet will likely be the most important factor. Unfortunately I find most healthy foods gross so this would be my biggest challenge.

[Sandra1746]

I'd suggest Yoga or Tai Chi or those sorts of exercise regimes (full disclosure: I'm a recent YOGA convert). They are great for balance and strength without leading to the 'bulk' that other exercise regimes do. Of course running or swimming are also good. Just follow the regular advice and be sure your DR is OK with your workout plans. As you noted, diet is the key to it all. I'd advise you to find healthy foods you like.

Good luck,
Sandra1746

[Beverley Sims]

I have a similar distaste of "healthy" foods.
Tell me it is a vegetarian meal and I would rather starve.
I do like vegetables and all in moderation.
I do a number of light womens exercises.
I have been doing bust exercises for years.
Not that they had much effect, they are just mild exercises.
When I was twenty one I weighed One hundred and twelve pounds and looked great then.
I could wear everyone else's clothes as long as they were not too big.

[kellycan27]

I am also 31 and 125 pounds @ 5'6". Swimming worked best for me in keeping the body toned and not building muscle.i also surf, play soccer and kickbox. All realativley low impact exercises. Eating healthy is always a good idea, but ( for me anyway) I can eat just about anything I want because I have a dedicated exercise regime that helps to burn off those excess calories.

[Rogina B]

Hi Everyone,



I'm 31 years old and 126 lbs.




4) Diet will likely be the most important factor. Unfortunately I find most healthy foods gross so this would be my biggest challenge.

You have done very well eating Canadian[thinking FFpotatos are a vegetable]thus far! Chicken Caesar salads,Salmon Caesar salad,things like that..protein and green vegies..and an old Jane Fonda tape.You are lucky to be so little,so make the most of it!

[UNDERDRESSER]

You give your weight, but not your height? I see on previous posts you say you have broad shoulders. Big muscles in the chest, with wide shoulders, would tend to make a feminine look difficult, but not impossible. Why are you going to the gym? Better health, strength, what? As a general rule, lots of low effort repetitions, rather than heavy lifting, would aim your muscle development towards a sleeker, leaner look.

As for healthy eating, I disagree with most advice in this area. Just don't eat more than your body needs for whatever level of work you're doing. Avoid added sugar, ( harder than most people think, look at food labels, almost every prepared food has HFCS, sugar, dextrose, honey or something. Low fat foods are worse than regular ) Low fat is a crock. I eat POUNDS of butter. I dropped 35 pounds last year without seriously trying. Just stay active, walk to the store, avoid sitting too long. Watch portion size, eat a varied diet, try and have as much veg or fruit as you feel comfortable with. KEEP MOVING. Good luck!

[dreamer_2.0]

You have done very well eating Canadian[thinking FFpotatos are a vegetable]thus far

I appreciate that however it should perhaps be known that I practically live at McDonalds or any other fast food restaurant. Oh and there's the Froot-Loops for breakfast too and...well, you get the picture. Haha

Honestly, I don't know how I've kept my weight around where it is. Heaviest I've been is 134 or 136 lbs, I believe. I've got one helluva metabolism but obviously can't keep eating this way or it'll catch up to me hence the gym and this post.

I'm trying to use my desire for a feminine body as motivation to shape up but don't want to inadvertently go down the bodybuilding road and risk turning my body into something unwanted.

[sometimes_miss]

First, no one really knows what's healthy to eat and what's not. It's all after-the-fact guessing. For the last 50 years or so, they believed that eating fat made you fat. Then Dr Atkins came along and showed that eating a very low carb diet, but high in protiens and fats, made you lose weight, hence, lose fat. So it was the carbs all along that makes people fat. Then they tried to link high cholesterol to the plaques that clog arteries, but then the framingham study proved that wrong too. Then they found that the class of drugs that lower your cholesterol are linked to memory loss. Hmmmm, forget to take your cholesterol pill today?
Basically, diet recommendations are all guesswork.
And exercise is also just as confusing. Right now the best guess is to avoid weight training to avoid building muscle tissue, so swimming might be your best bet; of course, don't forget that yoga classes are usually filled with slim, fit women as a side benefit.

[dreamer_2.0]

You give your weight, but not your height? I see on previous posts you say you have broad shoulders. Big muscles in the chest, with wide shoulders, would tend to make a feminine look difficult, but not impossible. Why are you going to the gym? Better health, strength, what?

Thanks for your response. Didn't even think about leaving height, I'm 5'8. I do have broad shoulders being a guy but definitely don't have big chest muscles. More like a cross between mini-moobs and mini-pecks.

As for why I'm going to the gym, well, I suppose it's the usual reasons: health and appearance. But it runs deeper too in terms of emotions, self-confidence, etc. I'm at a difficult stage in my life and need to do something about it. The gym, or simply physical activity, is just one step to creating my life.

[Wildaboutheels]

You want ANY type of cardio, that you enjoy and "lighter weights"/more reps for toning. Even should you decide you want to increase your strength, increasing muscle size ANYwhere means increasing the calorie count [EXTRA protein] Excess Carbs or Fats can't/won't add muscle just overall bulk.

It IS possible to stay toned with a a poor diet but one VERY simple way to better your diet is very easy. Buy yourself a good blender and liquify stuff you don't like into stuff you do like. Often, the taste and/or texture of "disliked" items will be completely masked. I eat a LOT of baby spinach this way in some combination of banana/pineapple/peach shakes.

Also, contrary to a lot of misinformation, canned goods will usually have the same OR sometimes better nutrition than raw stuff. Giant cans of fruit at Sam's, Costco, etc. are FAR cheaper than stuff at your local grocery store without all the cleaning, slicing etc.

[busker]

I do ballet type exercises which keeps my muscles going, keeps me limber and doesn't put on muscle. Aerobics, jazzersize stuff still available. staying away from the hard equipment will keep the muscle off. Beware the cycles, ski machines etc as they will fatten your thighs. youtube has lots of "butt builder" exercises, and others as well, and one of Gwenyth Paltrow's workout gurus devised some exercises for her that are online--google patrow butt exercises.

[FoxxxyBri]

Try the "Insanity" workout. U will drop weight like nobody's business. If you stick to it you'll even get leaner and toned. Its mostly a cardio workout so you wont get bulky.

[dreamer_2.0]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! Can't say I've ever considered ballet before; intriguing idea!

Regarding thighs, wouldn't I want them somewhat larger as that would add some curves? Mind you, guy curves don't really turn out the "right" way so perhaps not.

[Amanda M]

Is fat in your diet and issue? No. Are carbs in your diet an issue? No again. So long as you do not consume more than you need of either. It is really quite simple, what ever name you give the wonder diet. Too many calories in make you fat. So watch your calorie intake and then add exercise to tone muscles, burn calories and get fit. Cardio exercise, swimming and light weight work with lots of repetitions will trim and tone without adding bulk.

Ballet as an exercise is great. My wife is a ballet teacher - or rather was - and a class with her left you in no doubt as to your fitness level. Besides have you ever seen a fat dancer?

[Erica Marie]

For me its a low fat diet. About 2 hrs of cardio 5 times a week. And lift weight, muscle burns fat which keeps you in shape. You dont have to bulk up. Go online and research 5 day workouts for toning. You want to do high reps with low weight. It will keep you toned and looking nice without the bulk of a body builder. But also remember everyone is different so the results will also be different.

[Darla]

I second ballet or Pilates. Ballet in particular not only helps lengthen and strengthen but adds an extra element as well. Grace! Improves posture and your bearing, and if you're in the right class can help you work on feminine movements too. Have you ever been to a ballet and watched the female dancers arms and how they work? Beautiful. Plus if you're up for it, you can wear some fun psuedo androgynous clothes (I'd frequently wear women's tights under my leggings and men's leotards are pretty close to women's fashions).
In classes as the only guy, I frequently learned the women's parts as it was too much for the teacher to teach one guy the men's parts. Didn't bother me one bit. If you go there to learn and really apply yourself, you lessen the creep factor, and they pretty much assume you're gay anyway.

And Pilates is sort of the same without the floor exercises, and so many guys are doing it these days. Go for the traditionally "female" classes and you're likely to keep that feminine figure!

Oh - and I disagree on spinning or cycling. Adding a little shape to my thighs and butt whole trimming the waist was not a bad thing.

Good luck!
Darla

[UNDERDRESSER]

Thanks for your response. Didn't even think about leaving height, I'm 5'8. I do have broad shoulders being a guy but definitely don't have big chest muscles. More like a cross between mini-moobs and mini-pecks.

As for why I'm going to the gym, well, I suppose it's the usual reasons: health and appearance. But it runs deeper too in terms of emotions, self-confidence, etc. I'm at a difficult stage in my life and need to do something about it. The gym, or simply physical activity, is just one step to creating my life.

I guess you live alone, and cooking is a mystery? Macdonalds can be a reasonable option, but look up their ingredient list for the various menu items, and pick some of the less unhealthy stuff. Avoid too much ketchup,lot of sugar. Simple breakfast at home, super easy. Get a microwave egg poacher, do a couple of poached eggs, on toast with butter, bit of salt and pepper, easy! Exercise generally is a good idea, you're approaching the point where metabolism changes, and exercise is definitely a good way to feel better in, and with yourself. Cycling and swimming as a combination would be good, and you can use the bike to get to work, makes it easy to build it into your life.

[Christine.Lolita]

Riding a bike is good for me. Weight loss and muscle tone.

If you work out with weights do not take protien supplements, this promotes weight loss from my experience.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'll second some of the previous suggestions:

Yoga
Tai Chi
Pilates
Step Aerobics
Zumba
Body Pump

I do all of these on a reglar basis, and I'm the only (or one of the few) guys in each of these classes.

[Ceri Anne]

There are a number of different things you can do. First, I recommend cardio for over all fitness. But to tone, weights are very good, also crunches, squats and lunges. With weight training, you want to do more reps, with light weights. This will tone without building muscle. Swimming is a great exercise, but you have to beware that it can increase your shoulder mass, something guys generally don't want to do. I had a gg friend who was a swimmer, she had very broad shoulders for a girl due to that. Personally, I like exercise that is fun and not really like exercise.......jazzercise, yoga (good for balance, flexibility) and dancing

[dreamer_2.0]

Thanks for even more suggestions, girls!

There's a yoga class at my gym tonight which I'm going to check out.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Cardio, biking, swimming, martial arts, Zumba!

Swimming for years has given me broader shoulders though, swam competitively in HS so I'm more on the extreme side.
Biking does wonders for your legs thighs calves without a lot of bulk.
Martial arts, have been practicing since I was 4, and only gains from it is harder stomach and strong legs (as well as scarred knuckles)
Zumba is awesome, I'm the only guy in a 30 person class and my popularity amongst the local soccer moms has increased more than from being in PTO and Band. I've been invited into the soccer mom circle of Starbucks, and mid day hangouts!

[Tilly Vega]

I use intense cardio and bodyweight exercises(with a focus on hip,glute,abdominals,and legs). Basics like pushups,squats,pullups,lunges,leg lifts,and the best for building up your chest(cleavage ladies ), dips. Most stereotypical weight lifting men tend to lift too heavy to fullfill their ego. Very few are capable of using full range of motion,and over time their muscles grow much shorter(hence a bulkier body strung up too tight). Bodyweight exercises when done correctly allow for greater ROM,and provide functional strength(I use to snicker at ”meatheads” that could barely do 3 pullups lol) Wow you can bench press real heavy,but you cant pull yourself up to save your life? All the exercises mentioned can be modified to increase difficulty.

[GinaM]

126lbs. for a guy is crazy skinny. You could def. pack on a lot of muscle. Being that light you prob. aren't all that strong so I wouldn't be too worried about putting on any mass. In order to add mass you need to lift heavy. If you're not lifting heavy you're really not going to be adding any mass. I would recommend doing a ton of bodyweight exercises such as pushups, planks, squats, lunges, and a fair amount of cardio. Why not take a Kickboxing class? Just skip the ones at the gym as they aren't very good.

[Brynn_A]

Hi Dreamer. One thing that I didn't see mentioned is genetics. We simply can't fight the code. I'm 5'9" and about 135 at 55 years old. Some years ago, I went to a gym with the intent to pack on maybe 20-25 pounds of muscle. They gave me a workout regime and a diet to follow. The diet was in the neighborhood of 6,000 calories a day with daily workouts. After six months (and a LOT of money spent on food) I gained two pounds, with very little to show but increased strength and slightly better tone. That said, you could possibly follow the same routine and become a mini version of Schwarzenegger.
Long story short, you mentioned that this is more or less an esteem project for you. (Forgive me if I misunderstood that post) Since fitness is not the primary goal, find any activity that you enjoy perhaps leaning to the more feminine side of the line.