Hi all my friends here,
sorry it's been a long time between posts- i'm 8 days from finishing my last class of this degree, well, not quite, but the hardest (capstone) class... i need to do a few more this summer and fall, but they will be easier (sort of) and at my home college.
i'm feeling really weird, kind of like i did during basic training in the army- 2 days after my 18th birthday: feeling like i do not want to change, but knowing that this experience has changed me.
honestly, i'm a little worried about how it might change my outlook on crossdressing.
now, at 48, i know things 'ain't gonna change honey', and yes i do understand that on a deep level. But over the course of 3 years, people do change, and i'm no different.
i've lost some playfulness, some whimsy, more so in th last 3 years than the prior 6, 9 or even 12. Maybe i am just getting older.
I'm sitting here in on of my favorite outfits to wear around my wife, my knee length flared semi-bouffant satin skirt in black (tres chic) a sedate knit top- grey or navy (grey tonight) black hose and flats.
today I made several wondeful meals for the family, went food shopping- just a real good time all around, putting off hours upon hours of work still needed before the end of the 11th.
procrastination is not a problem. some say it is a ART.
no
you are wrong
it is a GOD-ART: in the last 120 hours, minus 24, i whipped up our group project report and presentation. we tied for first out of 8 groups. i did it pretty much alone, just because my partners voted on my project. it was something i did a few years ago for real work. we netted an additional 20k that month, over and above normal scheduled work, and left a legacy of facilities that would allow further capitalization of similar future works. It was an 800% increase in net profit. we had three excellent people working- we 86'ed our egos and got the job done.
i'm actually hiring my old boss to come teach at my college...
the report got done on schedule of 3.5 days (my old job was doing technical reports- i had an ace in the hole) double spaced and formatted as requested- 100+ pages. heck, one of my advisers simply hefted the thing (single spaced) and said "looks fine, trust me". Funny guy, but he knows his stuff.
anyway... i'm de-stressing now, so read this with compassion.
if it makes any difference, the classes i'm teaching- they are getting passes on the end- of semester stuff simply because i do not wish this stress on anyone, although i know it is part of the game....
F it. I wish i could simply crossdress full time, teach, and exercise.
well, i get do do two of these pretty well, and one of them fairly well. I guess i should quit complaining and be happy. And yes, i guess I am. But i have to say, even though i teach this stuff.. what a pain in the ass it is! Sheesh.
<right now i'm seeing myself putting my head on so many shoulders- you my sisters and brothers- in a moment of pure self pity.> Thanks all, i needed that, too much stress building up.
Without a doubt- the moral support here for crossdressing helped. I only hope i can be as much of a help here to others as I have received from all of you.
Ok enough talk. I need to go find a sequined top or a cute little satin blazer to go over this confection I'm clad in...
(sound of a 190 dB cathartic scream...)
-k
