Being a cross dresser and being gay
I have fought it for too long, but I really do want to have a relationship with a man. I want to be a girl and have relationships with men and I find it difficult as many people here are not gay. It is a difficult time but i no longer have any doubts about my sexuality. I hope that my on line friends do not think less of me because of this.
Lucy Lou. xx
Lucy, there ARE gay cross dressers here but they are few. Statistically, most cross dressers are straight. It is what it is. Being honest to yourself is THE important thing.
Well of course not Lucy Lou, I wouldn't think anyone here would think less of you for your admittance of being gay. It's okay. People can be gay and not cross dress, or can be a cross dresser and be straight, and can also be a cross dresser that is gay.It's okay. But here on this site everyone is accepted as they are, gay, straight cross dresser, bi sexual, asexual, transsexual, celibate. I personally think less of people that lie, cheat,rape, steal, rob, or worst of all, molest children. So if you're a good person that is a cross dresser and are also gay, you're okay with me and I respect you.
Love & Respect,
Tara D. Rose
This is the LAST place you should ever worry about being judged! I am trying to find a therapist now who will help me through this journey, but even when I do, it is still those of you on this site who are honest and sharing and caring who I learn the most from. Best of luck!
Do your thing, girl!
We're with you!
X2! Well said Tara.
Originally Posted by Tara D. Rose
"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken" = Oscar Wilde
Hi Tara, thank you for that. I am a good person and my last marriage, which ended in a terrible divorce where I was of accused of raping my 4 year old daughter and hitting my wife, which i have to say was all lies. My ex was a pathological and an inveterate liar and i had many bad years because i find that type of behavior so wrong. I like being totally honest and have found many times that it has been used against me but I will not change.
I tell my daughter to be totally honest and not be afraid of telling the truth, because, ultimately it will be better for her.
My sexuality has been a problem but i have always known that there maybe something not quite right. Society does not make it easy for people who don't fit the 'normal" bracket. i have recently been telling my self to accept it, but it is difficult. I now really have no doubt that I am gay and absolutely need to cross dress. For me it is something that i cannot and will not stop doing because it makes me feel so right and happy. I hope i can meet a man who is OK about me. But, as you so rightly say, you have to be honest with yourself and i am what I am. Full stop. Thank you for your support.
Big hugs, Lucy Lou. xx
Thank you. I will try . Lucy
Lucy, I don't label myself as gay. I really don't know WHAT I would label myself as! But I do know that I could easily enjoy some of of the finer things as a woman with the right guy because I have the feelings of being a woman. Go for it! Most here won't think any less of you! Don't let that hang-up get in your way! Who says vanilla ice cream is right for everyone?
Cheryl
Lucy dont ever judge yourself and you will never be judged here. As you will find here there are straight, bisexual and gay crossdressers. And there are also alot of people who may be confused about their sexuality. I myself am one of them. I prefer women, would only ever want a relationship with a women. But I am bisexual, the odd part is only when I am dressed and only have attraction for other cd's. So yes, you are not the only person here that does not fit the "norm" society sets for us.
Erica
Lucy, Hon!,
Don't you fret! Although, not statistically large, there are plenty of gay men who cross-dress. I get the sense that it's really you resolving your gay sexuality that has given you pause for all this time. I completely understand. I am gay, I crossdress, I denied my feminine side for years, I haven't been happier since I admitted to myself, that I like to dress. It so part of me just as being gay is part of me. Now, I know there is much you will want, need to sort out.
I knew I was gay from day one, but it all come together just before my teen years. For about 20yrs, I had trouble with admitting my sexuality (11 - 31), some of it was the fear of my feminine side, not being seen as a man, masculine, but on the same note, such a thought excited me because it feed into my feminine desires. But I suppressed my feminine side till about age 40. I stopped dating women at age 30, slowly sorted out what it all meant for me. At age 40, I started to face my feminine side (past experiences were one experience, purge, only to have the desire build again.) I began to recognize that my desire to dress became stronger, lasting longer, and I was hating purging so I, again, slowly began to allow my feminine side take hold more and more. I still have a ways to go, but honey, it's the decision to allow the real you bloom that will make you happy. The fact that I do not pass, do not have the best wardrobe, wig, terrible at makeup, while are things I want to improve, do not make me sad or feel less feminine, So it is the same with you, allowing yourself to experience your gay sexuality will allow you to be happier, and more comfortable with the man and the woman you are inside. You will find, what you are is quite normal, easy to be, and makes all the sense in the world, Why, because you are an individual and this is your persona, some men do not have this aspect to their personality, but then again, how do we know. We may think all other men are "real men". We have no idea what every man has to deal with in regards to his sexuality or gender identity. I think there is a lot more fluidity out there than we are aware, admit, and address.
Oh dear, I do go on... one of my feminine traits! LOL. At the end of the day, Lucy, is to go at your own pace, do what feels comfortable and what is you. If spending an evening as Lucy with a gentleman friend is what you find happiness with, all the power to you. If you want to keep the two personas separate for awhile or forever, ok, It's the journey honey, it's the journey.
Hugs Honey!
Cassie
Last edited by TxCassie; 05-04-2013 at 09:35 PM. Reason: spelling
Nope, I think no less of you, and you have my complete respect, support etc. .
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Lucy, statistics show that homosexuality is about as prevalent among crossdressers as it is among the population as a whole. So, while most CDs are hetero, there must be quite a few gay CDs out there!
You say "I want to be a girl..." Have you thought you might actually be TS? If you have and you know you aren't, that's OK too, but it was just a thought.
You won't find people that think less of you for being what you are here. Certainly not me; I have one brother that's gay (though not a CD, as far as I know) and another one that probably was, but I was never sure (and he passed a few years ago, so I might never know now). Whatever you do, you go, girl!
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
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i'm sorry but i had to chuckle...we are mostly guys here, dressing as woman and you're afraid that we might think less of you! who are we to judge!
i am really sorry about your divorce but i am glad that you are finally finding happiness within yourself. good luck and i hope you find a wonderful man.
and if he has a brother, let me know as i would love to double date with you
paula
A gay X dresser, OMG.
I am happy and gay all the time but I am not gay either.
Lucy, There is nothing wrong with having a mixed sexuality.
If that is what you could call it.
I doubt if anyone really thinks anything about it, as long as you are enjoying life who is to worry.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Hi Lucy, like the rest, I can't imagine anyone here having any difficulty accepting your feelings. We're all an unusual sort of mixed bag of gender here, never knowing which is going to show up next. Gay, straight, curved, whatever (I refer to myself as 'straight up, with a twist'). The only time we'd think less of you is if you wound up being one of those people with a bunch of heads in your freezer. Otherwise it's live and let live here.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Ditto---At least 10% of the male population is exclusively homosexual (according to the 1950s kinsey report--probably more now) and at least 30% have "experimented" with same sex relationships (read bi)--so there are lots of us (including me) out there---and there are lots of "admirers" of us gurls who are looking for relationships--so get there and start your new journeyi'm sorry but i had to chuckle...we are mostly guys here, dressing as woman and you're afraid that we might think less of you! who are we to judge!
i am really sorry about your divorce but i am glad that you are finally finding happiness within yourself. good luck and i hope you find a wonderful man.
and if he has a brother, let me know as i would love to double date with you
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Thanks girls, good comments. Made me feel a lot better. It is all about learning and being comfortable with yourself. I do feel comfortable dressing and have sorted out a lot in my head. This site has helped so much and I am glad to be able to talk to you good people.
Lucy Lou. xx
It's who we are as people that is the important thing Lucy. Let the labels fall where they may. In any case love is not limited by what our own particular plumbing happens to be. That is the greatest lesson mankind in general needs to learn. Some of us have already figured it out.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I can really sympathise with the comments on this thread. i recently came out as probably pansexual more than anything else, with a preference for feminine men. I also admitted to myself that I liked wearing sexy female underwear and had a very feminine side - the natural me. Society tells men to be a certain way and unfortunately I wasn't very good at it. In a perfect world I would meet another person very much like me and we would live happily ever after. Unfortunately most crossdressers are either not interested in a sexual relationship with a man, want a quickie and then go back to their wife, or just dress for pleasure.
I'm with Erica as when I'm dressed I love to be with men both socially and sexually but when not dressed not the least bit interested in them and would much rather be with a woman. I think we are all different and you need to be comfortable with who you are as you're a lovely lady who likes men. Good for you and enjoy this wonderful fem side you have!
I understand you comment. I, like you, do not want just a quickie but would like to have a relationship with a man, either dressed as a woman or just as a man. I will get there.
I'm happy to find this discussion. I'm still in my closet and dress at home when wife isn't. She knows but doesn't want to be involved. When I am able to dress, I have my fantasies and, quess what, they always involve my being with a man. So maybe I am gay but still in the celibate status. I don't think any of us come to the forum looking to judge others. Its why, as a new member, I feel so comfortable here.
Norah
Norah,
I didn't have my first same sex encounter until I was 56 and except for one time I have dated only men and a few CD's. Best Wishes NORA !
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Lucy,
I really do feel that this site is so good is because you can finally just be youself! There are people here who think just like you. You are not alone. For many of us we have been alone far too long in our own thoughts. There are a lot of nice people here who will give you support.
Good luck going forward and just be you!
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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