How crossdressing has influenced my life.

[FelicityMay]

I'm not exactly sure why, but I feel like sharing what has happened to me in recent time.

2 months ago, I had never even heard the term "crossdressing" before. In early march, I was home alone one day, and wanted something awesome to do with the rare opportunity, and had remembered how much I had always enjoyed dressing like a girl. So I decided to start searching around on google, and came across this site. I was so excited to find that there were others that were just like me! I started to become more and more interested in all of this, and even started shopping for myself. Things seemed to be going pretty smoothly for me!

At first, I was very nervous about all of this. I only told a few very close friends, who I felt would be supportive of me. Some reacted better than others, but I still felt fairly okay about everything at the time.

Then my parents found out... after one of my close friends started hinting at it to them, they came to me, fairly upset. My parents are very strongly religious, and being 18, I am still stuck under their roof, and got hit pretty hard by the chastisement. At this point, I started to try to keep it a little more secret, seeing how the majority of people who found out weren't very happy about it.

I decided to turn to some extended family who are a lot more open minded, and they responded with open arms, being as friendly as can be. I started spending a lot of time with this side of my family, and tried my best to keep it a secret from my parents, knowing that they would not react well to it. Now this seems pretty simple right now, but there's a lot more to it. I was scheduled to leave on an LDS mission in late April, but around early April, I had gotten second thoughts about going (not relating to dressing). And for those who don't know, Mormons have some high expectations when it comes to boys going on a mission.

It was starting become a problem that I knew that my little secret was spreading through the family, and I wanted the story to be clear for everyone...
On April 10th, I publicly announced on Facebook that I had decided to not go on a mission, and that I was a crossdresser. This started a world of problems.

My whole family started to take sides, and a very large feud began to tear things apart. There are those who support me in making my own choices and living my own life (who I have made plans to move in with soon), and there is the side who are against all of it.

Right now, I am in the middle of being lectured and patronized by my whole family, and my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are having a huge heated debate over it.

I'm 18 years old, I am proud to be a cross dresser, and I don't care that almost everyone I know now, knows that about me. I enjoy it very much, and it has become a very big part of me that has made me very happy! Although it may have ruined some relationships, and may cause plenty of conflicts in the future, I don't feel bad for any of it! I have actually felt surprisingly calm about the whole thing. As the hurricane rages around me, I'm sitting calmly in the center of it.

Thanks for reading... I just felt like venting
-Felicity

[Jenniferathome]

Felicity, do remember that you are the one who started the hurricane so you have some responsibility to both explain and defend your decisions. Now, try to be objective and know that the first reaction of almost anyone who hears about cross dressing is, "you must be gay." In your religion, that is not allowed, you would be excommunicated for that. So your parents are worried about that. Next, you passed on the mission. Your parents must be thinking it is because of your cross dressing, gay, lifestyle. See? It adds up. Every little thing will add to their fears. Try to help them. You owe that to your parents.

Good luck

[heatherdress]

Glad you have the confidence and courage to openly share your happiness. Seems like everyone is upset except you - a "world of problems" for family and friends. In spite of your calmness, you need to let the family controversy, fears, feuds settle down. You should prove to those you care about that you are still "you".

You are still living at home and you would be better served if there was more acceptance. Maybe you have to be more understanding of their fears and concerns. Consider a therapist - not because of your crossdressing - but a good therapist will help you address family problems, prejudices and avoidance of future conflicts.

Good luck, FelicityMay.

[DaniG]

Wow, FeciltyMay. That's quite a story. I admire your resolve to proudly be who you are. Keep it up!

Jennifer and Heather have given great advice. I'd just second the recommendation to spend some time with a therapist. I nearly always think this is a good idea. Have you thought about where you're going from here? You may need to make your own path very soon, assuming that your parents will not be able to accept your new identity. I wish you the best, sister. XXX

[Barbara Ella]

It is so good that you can think it through and arrive at a logical conclusion and take appropriate action. But as was said, that is only a part of what you have now accepted as your "mission." you may not go on the LDS mission, but you have started a journey that includes a lot of people who have been there for you, both now, who support you, and in the past, before you realized your true self. They all deserve your presence, maybe not the same amount for everyone, but they should not be deserted just because they disagree with you, only leave if they get into the ugly/mean mindset.

You must remain calm, and do the most you can to educate them about this. Do not assume they will pick it up on their own. They need to see that the stereotypes just don't fit you, and most of us, as we are all individuals and deserve to be judged accordingly. They need to know who you are, and they can see this only if you let them. This will be very hard for you, but know they still love you very much. Retain your calm.

Barbara

[FelicityMay]

well the thing that bothers me the most, is that no one is mad at me.
half my family is fighting with the other half on who is to blame for me being this way, and trying to debate my fate.
It is as if they are all treating me like a child, who cant think for myself, and am just influenced by whatever people tell me.
Basically I just want them all to realize that I am an adult now, and I just want the freedom of being an adult now, without them all smothering me and trying to do whats "best" for me.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is noble of you not to go on the mission as you may not do it proper justice anyway.
Religion also plays a big part in your problem and you will have to overcome that also.

[Helen Grandeis]

1. Avoid parental commitments to mental institutions, deprogrammers and other things like unto that.
2. Are you the beneficiary of a trust fund that will pay for college or perhaps the rest of your life no matter who you upset. If not, you need an integrated plan for how you will live the rest of your life without your parents.
3. In a perfect world, people would be a lot more tolerant. But in general you will get the best results if you are either a man or woman at any given time. When you are a man look sharp. When you are a woman strive for the elusive passibility but settle for the best you can but once again look sharp.
4. It is possible to live entirely as a woman (without transition) but you have to strive to be a sharp, tailored, professional. I will provide an example, if they consent.
--
Have fun
Helen

[bruce]

goodness,you are to applauded.you are very brave and you will be blessed with much happiness for being true to youself.
trust me on this cause i have lived my entire life hidden.
anyway good for you!

[andrea lace]

it seems a shame that religious family's dispute or even disown members of there own family as there life style does not fit in with there religion. I don't know much about the Mormon faith but the strictest religion in the UK are the Jehovah's witnesses and I have had the pleasure of meeting some of them as they come to our house preaching. I have asked them there feelings on LGBT issues and they say would disown there own children if they chose that lifestyle. Yes they did actually say this. Felicity you seem to be being true to yourself and I feel that is a good thing

[Alexis.j]

YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE! And only you know what that is... Explore yourself (cautiously). If cding or being ts is what you are, then it simply is that way, if you are gay, so be it, its your life!!! You cannot change how you feel and what satisfies you.
Just think logically about the situation.
I am in the process of coming out to fam and friends, its eating my up inside ( keeping it all a secret) I feel like im going to go insane if I carry on like this for another month.
What I am exactly, im not sure... all I know is that there is a woman inside my male body that is screaming to come out. How far I will go, im not sure, as I cannot give up EVERYTHING to be what my heart says though, as one has to be realistic as well in life.....
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you you pursue. We deserve to be happy...

[Alison1842]

Some times the final part of growing up is making your own decisions, discovering who - what you really are and living your own life, not the one created for you. Settling on and defining your own religious believes can be a big part of that too. My SO came from a similar sounding family to your own. We met on line and to say i was about as near to the devil as they could imagine is a understatement!

In a kinda strange way, my mum throwing me out (nothing to do with what this site is about) was arguably the second biggest turning point in my own life after deciding to quit school and get a job. My granddad was the only person in my family that believed i could make a go of it. So far life is good and is gradually getting better, yep there's ups and downs, but if your prepared to work hard and think for your self you can make a success of things with out a degree, with out a trust fund, just takes work and some self believe.

[julietalyse]

Cross Dressing has brought out my inner feelings of femininity. Once I approached dressing from an open rather than closed mind and realized the benefits for me, I began to enjoy my time in feminine mode. After each period of dressing I feel at peace.

[FelicityMay]

wow, its hard to believe it has only been a week since I posted this!
In the past week, I have moved out of the house, in with my aunt and uncle, who are very supportive in what I am doing.
I am now free to dress up whenever I want now! back when I was living with my parents, they wouldn't even let me keep my girl clothes there, I had to hide them somewhere else.
I am doing a lot better now! I don't see my parents as much any more, so there is less conflict going on. Just waiting for more people to adjust to my hobby

[kimdl93]

I'm glad to hear that you're able to live openly with your aunt and uncle, but sorry to hear that your parents are less than accepting. I think you're quite fortunate to have this level of support from part of your family. Over time, and it will take time, I suspect that your parents will at least begin to accept the reality of your life and choose to sustain their relationship with you. In the mean time, enjoy your and be grateful for the opportunity to make and live with your own choices!

[PretzelGirl]

I would say at this point since you are safe, lay low with the family and let the storm subside. I would still reach out to your parents. They will always be your parents no matter how you feel inside and you will probably be glad you kept that bond alive. I am glad you are getting to be the true you. In the end that is the most important thing, but I would avoid stirring the pot anymore as it will be easier for you. I am glad to hear you are still here, so I hope we get to see each other again soon.