If There Were No Such Thing as STDs, How Would Your Life Be Different?

[Anneliese]

I am very afraid of STDs and I hate condoms.

If there were no such thing as STDs, I would have been with MANY more women than I've been with. (I couldn't fit "or unwanted pregnancy" into the thread title) The opportunities have been there.

I would also have been with numerous transsexuals, CDers, strippers, etc.

As it is, I've led a rather conservative lifestyle...nine sexual partners, all women, in my 59 years.

How different would your lifestyle be if sexual activity had no health consequences?

I would also dress up and receive "love", without question, starting yesterday.

Too bad life isn't that simple.

[Brynn_A]

An interesting question and a topic that could easily go astray quickly I think.

The answer is really quite simple and I would think fairly universal if one is honest with ones self. To answer it, simply look at the three basic drivers of sexual activity. These are desire, societal concerns and risk.

The human animal, like any other is driven for procreation. Given the relative inefficiency of our reproductive system, we have been given a higher drive than some other animals. I've heard that the average male thinks about sex in some way about every twenty minutes, not sure about the ladies.

Societal concerns, be they religious or some other play a huge factor. If married or in a committed relationship, the moral repercussions of a tryst will override the desire more often than not. This may be the greater limiter of sexual interaction when one looks at the greater scope of things. In at least the Western culture, females are taught from an early age that "Good Girls Don't" until married.

The health concerns are now a larger concern. One is always driven to survive, so we tend to naturally avoid activity which we know may result in our demise.

So, I guess the answer is, without societal pressures and health concerns all of us would act on our urges far more often and with far more individuals than we do now. Some will disagree with me. However, if they look deep in their self, I think I am probably more right than wrong.

[Beverley Sims]

I missed out on a lot years ago due to "NO" being a very successful contraceptive.
I also had this inner respect for women that some others thought was misplaced.

[Megan Thomas]

How different would your lifestyle be if sexual activity had no health consequences?

No different at all I suspect. For me my level of sexual interest has never been affected by fear of consequences, but then my libido was never particularly high. With the right partner I could be as active as the best of them but I never craved sex, nor did I actively seek it out. It was never just about a physical act and I derived as pleasure, if not more, from the emotional connection with my partner.

[Dawn cd]

I think it interesting that of the three "drivers" of sexual activity, Brynn did not mention love or the desire for intimacy.

[Laura912]

Never really liked "what if?" games. Seem to foment much about nothing real. Or as William said, "much ado about nothing."

[Kate Simmons]

Life is all about choices Hon. It has really been our choice to do what we have done or not to do what we haven't done. My wife and I are no longer together but we have had three great kids together who are now all viable adults(not a bad accomplishment in itself). I now have a GF who totally accepts me for who I am. I don't regret any of it and would do it all over again in a hot second. What I do in the future is totally my own choice.

[NicoleScott]

I suppose some people make their sexual activity decisions based on STD's. I don't.

[Brynn_A]

Dawn. I did not neglect "love" without consideration. That od course is a factor in human sexuality. However, for the purpose of this discussion, it has a bit less play. If I am in love with someone, they are my main and sole focus. I think that that in turn stems from societal norms. I may be wrong..but I cherish that right.

[ArleneRaquel]

Attraction and love plays a gigantic role in my sexual decesions, not STD's.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I missed out on a lot years ago due to "NO" being a very successful contraceptive.
I also had this inner respect for women that some others thought was misplaced.

Nice answer. I have missed out on a few, but only one ( mostly ) because I feared STDs. The discussion around the whole of the rugby team kinda put me off. These days, not too unhappy about most of that. I am who I am, if I wasn't, maybe I wouldn't be with who I'm with now.

Did that make sense?

[Jaylyn]

Dang I'm almost scared to answer this question truthfully. My wife and I were virgins at our marriage. We grew up that you waited to give yourself to your married mate. We have raised four wonderfully all successful children. They did not know about our crazy wild adventures that we experienced right after they were out of the house. We were stretched in giving our selves that often time we had to put our own sexual time on hold. I guess it had built up for twenty years and had to explode at some point in time. In our forties especially when liz started telling me she had always wondered what it would be like with someone else and felt the same. We started swinging as a once a month thing. We started driving to Dallas and clubbing and picking up Black gentle men at the clubs, as this was one of liz's fantasies. We went thur a life time of sex when liz it the forty flood of hormones women get, except ours lasted way into our fifties. We experimented with every feeling or fantasy either one had. From gangbangs to sex buddies. It is surprising but our love for each other actually grew stronger from all this. Liz did not go thru menopause till she was 58. Her gyno told her she was his oldest client and he retired just last year and she still had the record. We are in love to the point we'd give our life for each other but we also survived (estimation) 50 to 60 different sex partners each probably. We were lucky we never had any STD's. I don't recommend our crazy times but I know it worked for us. We are now happier than we have ever been and are still sexually very active with just us two. We still enjoy the kink in our bed and the cross dressing for me is mild compared to what liz and I have done in as we call it the wild release time of our lives. I do say if I had it to do all again. I'd probably not change a thing. Just love yourself and your neighbor as yourself and do no harm to others. This is the words of a very famous man... my savior and guide to this day and that is what liz and I have done thru our journey. Hope that answers your question about how we feel about STD's Jaylyn

[Trishpdxcd2]

Interesting Jaylyn...I think I would have had many more sex partners had my wife been open to that. The fear of std's has less to do with it for me(condoms mandatory) than the lack of interest from my partner. We enjoyed a few brief encounters with other couples and I am sure I would have had more had my wife been interested.

[LilSissyStevie]

My life would have been exactly the same because I lacked the good sense required to worry about such things. I've had STDs and HCV. I'm still alive....for now.

[whowhatwhen]

0 Multiplied by 0 is still 0.

[MisterEgurl]

0 Multiplied by 0 is still 0.

Same here.

I have very little sex drive and I'm an introvert. STD's is an excuse I use to throw off the gang of dudebros I work with that I'm just not into sex for sex's sake, so no STD's would have made it more annoying.

[sandra-leigh]

There would not have been any change in my life. A distinct lack of opportunities, or of much of anything that even looked like it might eventually lead to an opportunity. I had to go to another continent to find a relationship.

The only time I ever received a likely offer, Yes, I did think about STDs, but I also thought about the outright statement that the people were going to snort some cocaine; and thought about how all of the people heading from where I was to the destination were obviously past the point of being able to drive safely (but clearly intended to anyhow); and I thought about how it was indicated that there would probably be 2 or 3 women (that I had never met) willing to have sex with me -- and I thought about how I was already in a relationship. I stay a long way away from hard drugs; and I stay loyal to my relationship (not that I haven't felt tempted...)

[EllieOPKS]

Back in the early 70's there wasn't any STD that couldn't be cured with antibiotics and sex was very open and free with me. It was a great time and I had lots of sex back then. Today STD's are a concern so it calls for high standards and minimizing risks. I'm lucky because I can enjoy sex as much with a condom as I can without one. My wife and I are in a pretty open marriage in that we allow each other to explore and have fun....with caution in mind. So in short, if there was no worries on STDs today, we would be having considerably more experiences.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Just me personally, I have never had much of a desire for variety, I am naturally monogamous and that is probably part of my submissive nature. Had my former girlfriend not left me, I would have been happy to remain with only her for the rest of her life.

As part of my job, I have to be regularly tested for certain communicable diseases, so I can produce medical records to prove I am safe; I would never, ever not use protection, but even then if I ever even had the slightest doubt about someone I wouldn't risk it and being unable to work. Since I am now alone and not desirable by those I find desirable, that point is probably moot... alas

[Anneliese]

I was married a long time ago and enjoyed a ridiculously active sex-life with her before she became a serial adulteress and I ended it. If I had someone like that who could be loyal, I would have never even been with a second woman (she was my first).

However, nobody since has been in her league sexually, and all I've been with since have had issues of some kind, with me or with life. I have had hundreds of opportunities with women, men, CDers, etc and have passed on almost all of them. STDs are a major concern. I am truthfully not all that rambunctious, but I can't help but feel this is mostly BECAUSE of unwanted pregnancy and/or STDs. It also has to do with an allergy to getting involved in a 24/7 relationship ever again. I simply enjoy my time alone more than time with anybody (I've so far found) else. Condoms are another whole issue. During my marriage, I had sex many thousands of times and never used one. It was glorious. Ever since I've been expected to, and it stinks, to put it lightly. No sensation. Without sensation I can't perform. End of story and end of sex life.

So, if there were no concern about STDs, I would be, at least for a time, a wild and crazy creature.

[kimdl93]

Not really. I've never felt that there was any value in multiple sex partners. It all works about the same way. I'd rather have a genuinely intimate relationship than a bunch of one night stands.

[Alice Torn]

I have never had sex with anyone, but came close a few times. As a boy, i was terrified of girls, and that continued into my 20's In my 30.s i dated a lot of church and nonchurch ladies, mostly older than me, and single mothers, or widows. I wanted to marry several times, but just was too low income, and emotional messed up by my family, to commit. Also was rejected many times. I had a one night fling with a guy, as Alice, but did not go all the way. If there were no danger of STDs, i might have been more daring to have sex with a few women, but i also feared getting one pregnant. I don't think i would have done much different, as I try to live by the ten commandments imperfectly, too. It is so utterly rough on men today, as, when you don't have much income, you will probably not get to marry.

[Anneliese]

When I was married I never considered cheating. If I were to find someone I wanted to be in a relationship with I would never cheat on them...ever. I have never had a one-night stand, and likely never will. This discussion is theoretical, obviously. I feel it would be nice, if not in a relationship, to have worry-free sex with whoever I wanted to when I wanted to. Many people do exactly this, and most pay no consequences, but they're playing with fire, and that's something I'm personally allergic to. I have been with two women with herpes, one of whom told me and the other didn't, and luckily I escaped STD-free. My ex gave me chlamydia early on in our relationship, which perhaps should have given me a clue about her before I asked her to marry me. I am so lucky to have gotten out of my marriage without testing HIV-positive, considering her predilections and serial adulteress ways. All this has made me paranoid, and as I said above, condoms are necessary, but I don't enjoy sex while wearing one. I'm better off by myself. THAT'S why it would be nice to have STDs and unwanted pregnancy off the table in a perfect world, if only temporarily.

[Sally24]

VD, that's what we used to call them, never affected my lifestyle. Been with one woman in my life and I'm very happy with that. If you're one of those that thinks quantity is where its at, go for it. One nighters will never sync up like two people who have learned each others bodies inside and out (pun intended).

[sometimes_miss]

I think it interesting that of the three "drivers" of sexual activity, Brynn did not mention love or the desire for intimacy.

Love and the sex drive are entirely separate things. Yes, it's better if you have the two together, but you can love someone and not have sexual feelings towards them. Intimacy also is an affection based desire, and not the same as sexual desire. Very, very few people know the difference; they usually just bunch them all up under the concept of 'love'.

That said, I learned a basic difference between sexual desire and affection early in my teens. You can give yourself sexual relief; you can't give yourself a hug. I can live without love, and have for many years. I can't, or won't, live without affection. If I have to pay for a woman's affectionate companionship, I will, and I do.