Scary trip to 7-11

[Lorileah]

You passed in the best way possible. And there was no threat to you.

Really? No threat? I want to live your fairytale world. At the least his touching could be considered assault. And his mannerisms and approach was very aggressive. A normal man would have asked her to please hand him some sugar (and we all know his innuendo wasn't about sweeteners). No threat huh? I think it was very threatening and rude and improper.

Candice did what she should have done. She walked away. I hope she made eye contact first so he knew she got a good look at him. This wasn't a bar on Saturday night. It was a 7/11 in daylight. Trust me fantasies of being "taken" and "forced" are not like the real thing. I think the guy was a creep.

[Barbra P]

Hi Candice

I’m sort of in the same boat with Julie – “Congrats--- you passed!” Looking at your Avatar you very much present as a very attractive young woman and now you know what many similarly attractive women have to put up with. By all accounts you passed another milestone; you know what it feels like to be a woman when a strange man finds you attractive. I read here all the time in posts where the poster just wants to get out and be treated like a woman, to feel what it is like to be a woman out in public, well now you know.

I’m too old and I don’t feel that I even come close to passing but I would have walked out to my truck and driven off with a smile while thinking “Wow! That guy thought I looked good enough that he hit on me.” You got the looks, now if you have the voice you could have smiled at him and simply said “Sorry, not today fella” and calmly walked out.

[lingerieLiz]

It happens to GGs too.

[bomba]

i would have been scared but think about it.you just had a truly feminine experience.now you know what it feels like to be a women.once i got out of there i would have felt great

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have to wonder what the GGs here are thinking while reading this thread. I doubt many would consider unwanted touching to be in any way a positive thing. Not to mention, just because someone touches you inappropriately does not mean one is passing, the person involved could be attracted to trans, or doesn't care either way what is between the legs; that does not mean that one is not passing of course, but likewise it is not an indicator of passing.

If being touched inappropriately by strange men is an indicator of passing, I am content being read. No, seriously...

[Alice Torn]

I might be tempted to say, Sorry, i'm a guy in a dress.

One more thing. It's good he did not follow you all over on the roads!

[Jana]

Sorry to hear that. Good thing you are safe. Unfortunately, in this world we live in, GGs (and those presenting as such, like us) need to grow eyes in the back of their heads...

[Chickhe]

Its really hard to do this...nobody wants to call attention to themselves, but program yourself to do it. You don't have to provide your real name to anyone, not even the police. If something like this happens, you need to make sure there are some witnesses... the store clerk for example...so shout out loud 'get your hands off me a-hole!' ...you want the guy to respond with a rude comment back that everyone will hear and repeat over and over out loud what the guy did to you. Hopefully in the 7-11 there will be video recordings. Call the police immediately and get the guys license number, name, description etc. ...then the guy will have to deal with the police and being a such an 'upstanding' character the police may discover some other issues... Guys like that have a whole list of people behind them who wished they had done something... More and more I see the value in reporting such incidents because it helps the police build a file on a criminal even if you don't press charges in the end.

[Allison Chaynes]

First off, glad you're OK!

I'd second making a really loud comment. There was a suspected child molester showing up in our neighborhood last year and parking at the end of the street next to my son's bus stop. I taught my son to yell RAPE as loud as he could if a stranger EVER got out of a car and talked to, or grabbed him. If that won't get the attention of others, what will? I ended up finally catching up with the guy one morning (I was walking my son to the bus stop), wrote down the license plate and make of the vehicle without confronting him, and the police ended up arresting him on drug charges. Sorry to digress a little, just wanted to paint a picture to maybe help in the future.

[Kalista Jameson]

First off, glad you're OK!

I'd second making a really loud comment. There was a suspected child molester showing up in our neighborhood last year and parking at the end of the street next to my son's bus stop. I taught my son to yell RAPE as loud as he could if a stranger EVER got out of a car and talked to, or grabbed him.

Screaming, "Fire" is even better. Many will not want to get involved in walking into a potentially dangerous situation, but everyone will show up if they think something is burning. =)

Cheers,

Kalista

[Shelly Preston]

I think you did the right thing Candice

While what he did was unpleasant calling out in a loud male voice may have made the situation worse. The chances are he had no idea you were not a GG and making him aware of that fact could have made him turn nasty.

[Danielle_cder]

did u hear bout that freak in ohio.....they are out there. please gf's b careful!!!!!

[Darla]

Oaky - you answered my thinking whether or not he clocked you - maybe.

That's said, getting the heck out of there making sure he didn't follow was the best option - congrats gold star.

Okay. Those who think she should have confronted him in deep manly voice - shame on you! Nothing's worse than a dirtbag getting turned down except for a dirtbag "tricked" by a persons gender. Um - Matthew Sheppard anyone? This guy might not have had any bad thoughts until he was "duped" and felt it was okay to go beat up the dude in a dress.

Honey - you did the right thing. My wife's sensei always said "never be there in the first place, but when you are - run".

Good job. Stay away from the 7-11s in the future and find yourself a friend to go out with.

Good luck
Darla

[Melissa Rose]

I'm sorry you had a scary encounter. It should not happen, but it does.

IMHO, walking away with the minimal amount of confrontation is the best way to handle this type of situation. What would be gained by unnecessary escalation? At best, he would back off which is probably the same result as quieting disengaging as fast as possible. At worse, it could escalate an already touchy (pun intended) situation. If your physical safety or personal space is being threatened and no other viable options are available, by all means, fight back as appropriate. I've had to remove a hand or two from my leg or back along with giving a death stare or speaking a simple comment a few times while at a bar. The message got through without taking it any further.

Jerks and a-holes can be found anywhere so stereotyping those patronizing 7-11 is a bit unfair. I have been in many convenience stores and gas station mini-marts without any problems. I would not go into one in a bad neighborhood or if anything looked suspicious, but that would apply all of the time. The biggest jerk I have encountered was in a nice mall, and I am have continued spending too much time there. Fry's Electronics was another place where a guy followed me in the parking lot. If he did not leave me alone after the first "Sorry, I'm not interested", I would have walked back into the store and notified them about me being harassed by one of their customers. I carry pepper spray, but it would be a last resort.

Not to burst any bubbles, but getting hit on is not proof you passed. It is only one of several possible and reasonable conclusions.

[linda allen]

Its really hard to do this...nobody wants to call attention to themselves, but program yourself to do it. You don't have to provide your real name to anyone, not even the police. ...........

Providing a false name to the police is illegal.

To persue this, you have to provide your real name and be prepared to deal with the fallout of being publically outed. You may have to appear in court and testify as to what happened. You won't be in female attire but you will have to admit to being in female attire at the time of the assault.

Just like people who prey on illegal aliens, knowing that they won't report the crime, some people will prey on crossdressers, gays, etc., figuring that they will not report the crime.

[jfem]

As a LEO I would have loved to see you deck him!! You would have been 100% justified.

For everyone here PLEASE don't be intimidated by jerks like this. Stick up for your rights and DECK him!

[Vickie_CDTV]

Assuming the guy didn't know and thought she was a GG, revealing oneself to be a man would probably be the worst thing one can do; there are plenty of stories of men assaulting or murdering women after the discovery of the woman being trans is made.

As a LEO I would have loved to see you deck him!! You would have been 100% justified.
For everyone here PLEASE don't be intimidated by jerks like this. Stick up for your rights and DECK him!

I totally agree in principle, but remember, we live in a time where people often blame the victim (and the fact the victim was trans cab make this even worse... after all we are are all crazy sex obsessed perverts, right?) If she had used force to stop him, she could have been in trouble legally, and would have to deal with problems that come with dealing with the legal system, as Linda Allen said above. It sounds insane, but these are insane times we are living in, and blaming the victim happens all the time.

[AllyCDTV]

I totally agree in principle, but remember, we live in a time where people often blame the victim (and the fact the victim was trans cab make this even worse... after all we are are all crazy sex obsessed perverts, right?) If she had used force to stop him, she could have been in trouble legally, and would have to deal with problems that come with dealing with the legal system, as Linda Allen said above. It sounds insane, but these are insane times we are living in, and blaming the victim happens all the time.

We also live in a time when you don't know who is carrying a gun and how likely they are to use it. If you ever deck someone, you either better make sure they don't get up again or be out of range by the time they do get up.

[linda allen]

As a LEO I would have loved to see you deck him!! You would have been 100% justified.

For everyone here PLEASE don't be intimidated by jerks like this. Stick up for your rights and DECK him!

It's easy to tell someone to "deck him" or for someone to say he would kick someone's a$$. Reality is though, there's a good chance the other party is bigger than you, stronger than you, or just a more skilled fighter than you. And as someone else pointed out, he might have a weapon.

A person who is inappropriately touched by another person has the right to call the police and have the other person arrested. If instead of calling the police, you decide to "deck him" or kick his a$$", now all we have is two people fighting. If the police are called, both parties go to jail. Nobody wins.

The OP did the adult thing, she walked away from trouble. She didn't end up in a hospital or in jail.

[FelicityMay]

I think i would be terrified in this situation too...
but on the bright side, at least you can pass as a beautiful girl

[Vickie_CDTV]

Please understand being harassed does not mean one is passable and/or beautiful (by society's standards.) My elderly, chronically ill mother has been harassed by men a number of times over the last few years, and because of her poor health (it really shows) she is not what one would think of "beautiful" in society's superficial sense; men who do such things may like trans women, might like woman with certain characteristics (size, age, disability, perceived weakness and vulnerability, etc.), or just don't care what they look like.

[jfem]

Sorry folks but thats what is wrong in society today. If someone touchs you innapropriately, you have a God given and law protecting right to DEFEND yourself. We all must get into a mind set that once someone VIOLATES you, that person must be put back into their place quickly and violently. No court of law will find you guilty of any criminal offense. Most of us have become "wussy-fied" because we are scared of not being believed.

I feel sorry for the OP. She was going about her normal life, now if I read her words correcty, is scard to go out cause of this jerk. If she had followed her insting and punched him I am sure her attitude would be alot diffrent.

Violence is not the first response, MOST times, bur sometimes it is the ONLY respose.

[Badtranny]

Sorry folks but thats what is wrong in society today.

So THAT'S what it is. I was always wondering what's wrong with society today.

Most of us have become "wussy-fied" because we are scared of not being believed.

Well, I grew up getting my ass kicked by jerks and phobes so I'm certainly not afraid of another one, but if there is one lesson I took from all of that, is that violence isn't the answer. Perhaps I've been wussified despite their best efforts to "make a man" out of me. Seems to have backfired because years later, I ended making a man out of one of the bullies in the back of a pickup truck. Who knew that a rabid homophobe would end up being a closet case?

[rachael.davis]

Hi Candice

This is that "life without male privledge" thing you hear about, and it is as scary as all hell on occasion.
7-11 late night is what a cop friend refers to as a "white trash magnet, you're getting folks who have been in bars, folks who have decided they need more beer and nachos at 11pm, and of course normal folks who ran out of something, but it's not an ideal spot for a single woman (even a heterosexual male one). Glad you rode into Dodge, and rode out the other side

[rachael.davis]

So THAT'S what it is. I was always wondering what's wrong with society today. .......

edit for space

. Who knew that a rabid homophobe would end up being a closet case?

Gee, never seen that happen