I have dressed off and on for the last twenty five years. Due to a missions trip my wife was gone most of 2011 so I got to spend that whole time living as my "other half". But it was extremely tough putting "her" away when she came back. It's been a year and our relationship has been suffering, mostly due to my confusion over my femme side. About a week ago, I started "the letter". Things finally came to a head last night and I told her everything. She took it better than I thought and the last 24 hours have been quite the emotional roller coaster. We agreed to spend the day apart and came back tonight and spent the last three hours talking. Although she is far from cool with this, she has agreed to go see a counselor and work toward a resolution. Being devout Christians, she believes my dressing is wrong and that is the biggest hang-up. She has agreed to let me have some "femme-time". She just isn't comfortable seeing it or being a part of it yet. She is open to this in the future. She has given me permission to bring my stash of clothes out of hiding and use our spare bedroom for my "hobby". I am hopeful for the future but realize this is going to be a long process. She is very upset that I have hid this from her for 15 years and I can't blame her for that. As others have said, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Although it was terrifying, I would encourage anyone who hasn't told their spouse or SO to do it. The outcome can be very uncertain, but the hiding and the lying can do more damage in the long run. Wish us luck as we walk this road and thank you to everyone who has had this talk and posted about it. Your stories gave me the courage. I will try to post updates as we go through this process.