Dearest Asche,
I can appreciate where you are coming from. Our lot is a difficult one:
1. Medical science doesn't give a shit.
2. Society, in general, is completely ignorant about us. The *only* story they really sort of understand is the classic transexual story. (The sanitized, upper-middle class disney version of it, that doesn't involve street prostitution, drug abuse, suicide attempts, and other stuff that wouldn't get PG rated.)
3. Even amongst those of us who are gender variant, there is an unfortunate tendency to want to categorize each other into one pole of the gender binary, or the other. (And don't you dare mention sexual orientation in that discussion...)
There are many people who don't fit the gender binary at all. And that is OK. I liked your rant, and I think you are perfectly right to be mad as hell, and not gonna take it any more!
For the most part, society is to blame for all of the above.
Oh - I will say one thing in defense of the TS folks (probably including me) who want to snap to the other pole of the gender binary - one of the things I've heard the most in my TG support group is that so many TS folks want to feel normal, and be completely invisible as the opposite sex - they just want to live as if they were born the right way, and have no one notice them, or care. They want to fit in, and feel normal - this is an overwhelmingly powerfuly desire. They aren't wrong for feeling this way - it is hard as hell to feel "wrong" all your life. I think it can be hard for some of us to understand someone who just wants to express themselves and be themself - even if that doesn't conform to anybody's idea of gender. I personally have no problem with that, but I really do understand the desire to fit in - it is easy to be blinded by that.
As for the rest of society? Mostly they are just stupid and cruel. No free pass for them. Sorry society - you suck.