How has crossdressing reflected onto your relationships? Even if your SO doesn't know have you ever notice that you tend to do "girly" mannerism and your SO acts more masculine
I am not asking has crossdressing improved or put stress on your relationship but have you noticed the stereotypical behavior change or roles in the relationship change?
Look forward to reading your responses and feel free to message me.
Alexis
Tough one. Crossdressing has assisted in ending my marriage and my last relationship. I think for a few of us including myself we opt to stay single in order not to have to reveal this side of us again.
Erica
As a caring father, my role has been to look after and protect my kids, I'm also "chief medical officer" (by default) and "Head chef" (by default). Also mechanic, builder, plumber, fashion critic, makeup adviser, Master sewer / dress designer etc
I'm finding I do have to be careful not to put my wife into a postion where she feels she is not needed, so while I may dressup around the house, I have to let her do more of the girlie stuff.
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
I have always had girly mannerisms as far back as I can remember.
My two ex wives even told me that.I never found either one acted more male around me.
I didn't dress all that much in those days or around either one of them.
My second ex didn't bat an eye when I came out to her a year or so ago.
She said well you make a pretty girl so as long as you are happy its all good.
I have to admit I've been somewhat of a sissy all my life. Even my first grade teacher said I had the pretty blue eyes of a girl. (Reinforcment?) I think, and many will probably agree, it's best to go into a relationship having your SO know up-front about your inclinations before you become seriously committed. The relationship between me and my wife has had no real dramatic changes because I was up-front and we've been together for over 20 years. It is what it is. She has not taken on any masculine roles. We're both very feminine in many ways.
Cheryl
I don't think so, but my SO is very definitely into feminine equality. She gets really pissed at people who tell her she isn't a real girl because she likes to get her hands greasy, and is always pulling things apart to find out how they work.
Me? I don't feel it is particularly "feminine" but I am becoming the default dish washer, and get up first to make the coffee. i will sometimes make dinner or breakfast, she's better at it, and likes to do it.
We both feel we want a partnership, and we are working out which tasks fit who. Nothing is considered "mens work" or "womens work"
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
In my case, as time has passed, I've made it a personal mission to take care of things for my wife I didn't used to do, that were her agreed upon areas of responsibility, like dishes, laundry, etc. What has happened is she appreciated the help and noticed it, and I believe it did help a lot in her level of acceptance. I think even she would admit our sex life is a lot better also. I think I'm a better listener too....
Allison, since I retired, and my wife still works, I am actually enjoying being the housewife around here these days. Somehow I just feel the fit and love my role. I want her to come home to a clean house with the dishes done and supper ready to go. Of course I'm dressed and maybe not like June Cleaver! LOL! But I love my role even if some consider it sterotypical!
Cheryl
I can only say my lovely wife is 100% in favor of me being happy. She helps me pick out outfits and gives me makeup tips, even has given me pointers on walking in my tallest heels. We fantasize together while I'm dressed and have even made love while am in the female attire. I love her and enjoy doing things for her. I like Cheryl, am retired and love now doing the house work in complete dress. I clean, do the laundry, dust, and mop the floors in heels garters and a shorty skirt, usually in full makeup. It hasn't hurt our relationship any if anything we are closer than ever. The change has been that I am much more easier to along with now that the only stress is if someone comes to the door and I get caught.. Just not ready to come out yet maybe one day.
No stereotypical behaviour change here, all reactions to crossdressing are always different.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I agree with you Erica
The relationship I now have with my wife has blossomed since I told her of my desire to CD. We now get along better than ever she shops for me helps with make up. I help her with things that really matter like being a more rounded person and tending to her needs and just being a better all-round husband. I never thought my life could be this good and I was certain that my CDing would wreck our marriage. Now I am more relaxed considerate helpful slower to anger and more in touch with her feelings.
Breeze and I have been married for 18 years and we were both guilty of taking each other for granted. I even tried to push her away as I was sure she would not accept that her husband liked to dress like a girl. As far as girly mannerisms go I don't believe that I have any. When I get dressed en femme I don't change my voice or try to act like a girl. I have only just started to openly dress in front of my wife and I am a really bad actor. Although she is accepting of her she still calls me by my male name.
One of my personal goals in life has been to be a consistent person within what ever situation I am in. Not being sure what is meant by "girly mannerisms", I would say that my traits don't necessarily fit into any one arena. I like doing things that men do, like doing things that women do, so I do whatever and work at being consistent regardless of the environment. My "who" is not in what I "do", but is in the sum of all of the parts of me. To deny one part of me would be at the expense of another part of me, hence the desire to be consistent. CD'ing would have to affect, or reflect onto any relationship, it's whether we can see it, or whether others realize that it is the Cd'ing that is the factor. A person with a quick temper affects others around them, they may not see the results of the behavior, but there are results regardless. The same has to hold true with all behaviors, like CD'ing.
There were parts of me that only became understood after my wife knew about my CD'ing. To the greater good of our marriage she realized it is a part of me and accepted it. This opened a door for a more honest and open relationship. To understand each others quirks, she had hers too, helped us have a deeper relationship.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Not changes....I think my wife and I have always had a pretty balanced relationship with a minimum of stereotypical behaviors or expectations.
I'm able to completely compartmentalize my crossdressing side and my male side. The two never cross.
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha
I have noticed I enjoy House cleaning and the "typical Housewife" role more. I have always been the house keeper, I am somewhat OCD when it comes to cleaning and she could never do it good enough for me, since dressing more and with her full support, I don't get angry that I do all the housekeeping and such. Yes I may have softened and taken more a feminine role in the house on some things, but not all I still do all the "Manly" work, she wouldn't even beginning to know how to. lol So yes I am more feminine and she is no more masculine then she ever was.
Well, I have to say, I've been crossdressing since I was 9. Mostly off for the first few years. At around 13, the attraction became obsessive almost. I started aquiring clothing and hiding it around the house. 20's were mostly off as i was trying to identify my life. 30's came and boy did it hit me hard. My wife found a stash of clothes and that caused a rough patch for a couple years. I should have fessed up then, but we wrote it off as a phase. Other circumstances caused stress in our marriage after that and now I just want it to be in the open. I'm seeing a therapist for depression and she is finding little things and not real happy about it. So I guess it's safe to say, cd'ing has made a sinificant impact on my life and marriage. Wonder which one will win?
I'll also add that when we watch TV, we both end up commenting on the outfits and attire of some of the female characters/actresses we see.
I'm not sure of it was crossdressing that did it per se but I handle most of the mom roles around the house, cook, clean, medical issues, only exception is my son, when he is sick he wants mommy.
Cross-dressing has added strain to my marriage. My wife was more-or-less OK at first, but is becoming less OK with it as time goes on. There are other stresses and strains in our relationship and I think cross-dressing is just one more stressor for her.
When I'm not cross-dressed, I don't behave particularly "girly". I doubt anyone would pick me up on the CD equivalent of "gaydar" when I'm in guy mode.
My wife and I have joked over the years that she should have been the guy and I the girl in the relationship. Its due to her being more the silent type and my being more chatty and also being a good cook, decorator and such. That said, she is not known for having an accepting personality and I am in the closet at home, but working towards coming out. I am also a fairly manly man around the house, can build, fix or operate almost anything. So I definitely have those chores. I've only been dressing a little over a year, just occasional experiments before. She has been becoming more fem over the last few years as our daughter and her have been doing more things together, so hard to say where it would go.
Hmmm, I think we are a bit closer but it took time to adjust after I told her. We share more interests and understand each other better because we are more open to each other. Before I told her she thought I would not understand, I thought she would find out so I held back. Now we can share everything, be totally honest. Telling my wife about Hanlie was a gamble at the time but it gave us so much more.
To answer the question, yes, it changed our relationship, it is far better now.
Hanlie
relationship is needs to be maintained under any circumstances. it is very tough for partner to accept
i am not yet able to go in front of others than my wife after crossdressing you r still doing good
I am somewhat femme in everyday life and dislike the traditional man's role of having to initiate EVERYTHING. From the first date, to dancing, to sex, or even a marriage proposal, women traditionally expect men to lead. If you don't, you are seen as weak and less manly. And, if you do, but fail, you feel humiliated. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a CD-er, but sometimes I want to feel desired and let someone else take over the steering wheel.
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