“A girl awakens to the apple of memories, and bestows a kiss...” (from a Japanese manga)
I was looking at my voluminous notebook today, and I have a “special” section for CD stuff as it pertains to this site/forum/board. Back in July of 2009, after three years of lurking, I introduced myself via a tentative thread. I had been on a CD discussion forum before, and I kept wondering if I wanted to go through it again. As such, my introductory OP was shy in the extreme...
According to my records, exactly 22 people welcomed me to the site – for some reason I wrote down their femme names in my notebook. Something struck me today – ALL of these people are no longer here. They have moved on. Briefly, my orbit converged with their orbits, and they saw fit to float a few words of encouragement in my general direction. However, I don’t see one name on my list of welcomes that is still seen amongst the posters – where did they all go, and why?
It almost makes me feel guilty for being here, or STILL being here. I’ve been here long enough to see this site as a busy meeting place, a waiting lounge, or a glorified seminar (of sorts) where things are briefly discussed, dispensed with, and then re-excavated for more discussion. Many individuals come and go around here – either they got what they wanted, or didn’t get what they wanted, or got frustrated TRYING to get what they wanted. I assume that many males want to understand why they dress as women, or at least feel good doing so, and it’s wonderful to finally TALK (or, in this case write) about their mysterious non-understandable passion...
I certainly like writing about crossdressing, and there’s no end to what you can write about. If there was a be-all and end-all tome about crossdressing, conceived and written with sympathy BY actual crossdressers, things would be different, but there is no such resource. This place serves well as a repository of knowledge, or information, constructed by real crossdressers. This particular section, MtF, is my main stomping ground, a veritable crossroads of ALL CD types and their ideas. Many contribute, and the same things are often discussed, over and over, but I still wonder why people leave, or even come here in the first place...
Of course, it takes time to read and respond to the many posts on display – many subjects are not in my realm of experience, so I move along. I assume others do likewise. Also, I’m not interested in arguing, or banging my head against the wall, but it is fun to interject a little something into the spaces provided. Maybe I have more time on my hands than others (I have been accused of this, you know), but I think it has more to do with the delight of engaging other CD minds, and I mean that with all due sincerity. Crossdressing is fascinating, period, and I want to keep the CD flame alive as long as I can – as far as I’m concerned, I’m responsible for perpetuating my interest in crossdressing, and this place helps. The urge, or need, to crossdress is a very precious thing, and any reinforcement is VERY helpful...
But, I guess many people just crossdress, and, after a brief foray into a discussion forum like this one, they resume their crossdressing lives, battling accepted norms, dogmatic expectations, and the requirements of the real world. My world is just as real, but my circumstances may be a little more relaxed than most. I’ve tried to leave on occasion, but I keep coming back, like a moth to the light at the portal to an unseen world. Nearly every week I meet a new crossdresser or two, but I still remember those who first welcomed me here. Sigh. I must carry on...
For all who have departed...This place is like a revolving door, isn’t it?
Originally Posted by TGMarla
