My wife over the years has started to become more accepting. We have progressed from "sicko" to "my little woman" "princess" and "Paula" granted thought she doesn't want to see me dressed we have a DADT policy that works.
My question have any of you had experiences where your wife surprised you did a 180 on the her cross dressing stance?
Yes. She still doesn't want to see me dressed and doesn't want to talk about CDing all the time, she has surprised me a few times. When I first told her (7 years)we went through the typical rough times for about six months. Lots if late night crying and some screaming. I got home from work on day she told me that I had a present on the bathroom counter. She had purchased me a pair of lace panties that day. She told me that she still wasn't crazy about it, but that she loved me and if wearing panties to bed on occasion helped me relax than she was OK with it. I usually purchase 2 to 3 outfits a year my (bday and Christmas) and while she doesn't want to see me dressed she has wanted to see the outfits. And a few months ago while we were "in bed" she grinned at my a told me to put on her panties(hope that's not to much info).
My girl and i have been on and off for years and years. we started getting into CD a few months ago and so far she has been really supportive. we have gone clothes shopping together, she has helped me with makeup, not to mention incorperating it into the bedroom. So far she has been great with it
When I firs told my wife, she was very upset. Not a good time.
She said she never wanted to see me dressed.
Now she has seen me dressed, and we have gone shopping together
So yes she has become more accepting, there are still some boundaries.
But for the most part, she is more comfortable with it, I think.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Its been 13 years and my wife has not changed one bit. She tolerates but does not accept. Our initial agreement (dress only at home when she isn't), is still in force.
She can't get past the "liar" part of the equation.... like not telling is really lying.... but if it were just the crossdressing I think we could have made progress... but we haven't and I doubt we ever will... sigh....
She has accepted to the point of going out with me dressed (if we are going outside our home town) and not being concerned that I dress at home most days
I'm one of the lucky ones, when I told my wife 37 years ago, she handled better than I did. It took her about 10 minutes of talking to decide it's no big deal, just do it. I spent 35 years hating myself, scared wearing these clothes would ruin my life, and end another marriage. She took me shopping the day I told her, and I've been dressing around her every since.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Do any of you have younger children in the home? I am struggling with that dynamic. My wife had given me an ultimatum 2 months ago telling me that im free to crossdress on my own...like on my own on my own....no family. Or stay and stop. My kids are everything to me so i stayed...and stopped. As i knew it would, these have been the hardest 2 months of my life. For our 10 year anniversary, my wife gave me some womens pj bottoms. On top of that, i have been making a point to wear her flats in the backyard to let the dog out or whatever the case might be. I do it openly with the kids there and everything and the only comment my wife has given me about it is....you better not stretch those out. They are my favorite pair. So it seems like a bit of progress. Im working it in super slowly but how do i handle the kid situation if they ever make a comment like...arent those mommys shoes? They are 6 and 9 so they are super observant and inquisitive. My wife seems to be making baby steps which is more than i could have hoped for. Any advice with the kids? I just want to be prepaired.
Mine was a gradual acceptance all the way through.
There were some reversals over the years due to over zealous activities on my part.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Certainly not a 180, but a gradual acceptance of more openness. My wife knew before we were engaged and at first didn't want to see me fully dressed. Later, and gradually, she came to accept and embrace me as a whole. It took time, but it's been worthwhile.
My wife accepted from the start, with a attitude that it was OK, but don't involve me or dress around me. That changed quickly and now I can be dressed around her and can freely go out dressed when time permits.
My wife picks out what she wants me to wear that night.
She lays them out on the bed in the second bedroom.
While I'm dressing she's in the kitchen and by the time I'm done the food is ready.
When the weather is nice we sit out on the patio and the girls in the apartmnt complex take great interest but we just act normal, two women enjoying each other's compay.
When we first met I told her I was a crossdresser, it was a part of me and there was no "cure" and that I enjoyed dressing up and going out.
We we married about six months later.
She still picks out my dresses and bouses, and has even purchased stuff that she would like me to wear, which I most gladly do.
She also checks my makeup to see if I've got it right and when I don't, she shows me how to fix it.
She's had me sleep with my bra on (but not my stockings).
We are best of friends and we're still married and are happy.
The dressng isn't everynight and has slowed down over the years, but whenever she wants Cheryl to talk to and go to bed with, she lays out the things on the bed includng the nightgown. Fredericks of Hollywood has nice gowns.
My crossdressing has enriched our relationship. I hope your wife can see it in the same way my wife does.
OMG, my story exactly. The cross dressing repulses her but its the lying about it that I don't think she'll ever get over. I was/am weak and couldn't and didn't tell her until 3 years ago May 1st. I don't know if she'll ever accept me or my cross dressing.
When my wife and I were first married there was a little bedroom play with lingerie and stockings. Then both of us discovered my interest in women's clothing went further than that. We had the 'discussion.' I think she finally accepts the fact that she has nothing to do with it. She felt I may be rejecting her. Self esteem issues on her part. For years I hinted at exploring cross dressing together. I finally decided I was being self centered and probably seeking her affirmation for my cross dressing. It was torturous for her. I stopped hoping I would get a pair of panties from her for my birthday. She was uncomfortable seeing "Tootsie" and "Mrs. Doubtfire." There use to be some unintentional or intentional barbs thrown my way if there was a television show with a cross dresser in it.
Now? It's DADT. She knows I do it when she is not home. Does she know of my stash stored in boxes "in plain sight?" Probably not. Am I hiding my stash from her? Not really. She has chosen to ignore that aspect of my gender identity. I would gladly share it with her. I don't mean dressing in front of her, but, just having a somewhat mature open conversation with her.
So, life goes on. My wife says she intends to work part time several days per week until age seventy. That's eight years from now. What will happen then? Maybe, I'll lose my cross dressing interest. Maybe not. I will pass that hurdle when it comes.
I was lucky. My wife fully accepted me almost right off the bat. I think it took longer for me to accept myself than she did to accept me. She was the first one to give me an outfit and shoes.
Let me check the rule book...oh there isn't one! Be yourself and have fun!
My wife has supported me from day 1..and that's some 30 years ago. She has been with me through the purges, the tears, the booze just everything. I don't deserve her, but I got her. I do treat her extra special. We have both passed our 60th year and 35 of those as a married couple. I quit trying to remember the $$ is tossed away during one of the many purges. I am settled now and can live easier with it. She is happy for me. God, I wasted so much time.....so much time.
My wife has come around. When I told her I was a cross dresser over 8 years ago she said that she would never want anything to do with it. We are at the point now where I can be dressed and both of us have a nice evening at home together. There are still boundary issues that we need to work on, and we are both getting counseling to deal with the fact I am transgendered.
It is never easy and our councilor has told us to just take things slowly and never talk in terms of absolutes. We both love and respect each other so we are really trying to give the other what they need.
The thing my wife told me that has made her change her mind is that she has come to understand (through research and counseling) that transgendered people do not have choice about how they feel. We are born transgendered.
Yes. Background: I told my wife about my crossdressing before we were married. She was surprised, but not repulsed or disgusted. Alas, she has become less accepting over time, so although I do crossdress at home when the kids are out, she doesn't like it much and it causes tension.Originally Posted by Eva Lynn
Now for the kids: I have never told my kids and I don't intend to while they are minors. Maybe when they're all adults I'll reconsider.
This means extremely limited opportunities for dressing.I think my youngest may have had a suspicion or two, but no-one has ever said anything. In my male mode, I don't look at all feminine or girly, so I think my two older kids would never suspect in the slightest.
Until the kids move out, I'll have to crossdress only occasionally... it's a rare treat like chocolate.
I told my wife almost 20 years ago before we were married. She was accepting to a point. She worried I was gay, that I'd want to become a woman, etc. It never caused much strife but it bothered her. Now she is fully supportive and encouraging. When I told her I wanted to go out she wondered what took me so long and was excited for me. I'm glad I told her when I did. I'm lucky to have her.
My wife sees this as a perversion and me as a pervert. Hell will freeze before she ever accepts or reaches a DADT status. The end is around the corner, I believe.
Did your wife come around?
When she first found out about it 7 years ago, she told me to go to a shrink and "get fixed".
We progressed to don't tell me about it, I don't want to know.
Now, I can tell her about it, but she still gets creped out thinking about it.
I guess that's some kind of progress.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Hi Paula, Over the past 49.5 years it's been a 180 then a 360 about four or five times right now it's a 360
my wife tolerates it but it's a DA--DT kind of thinggie right now.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Not yet...............but I'm working on herMy question have any of you had experiences where your wife surprised you did a 180 on the her cross dressing stance?
Lucky for luca I did that in the time span of a week. It is hard for us when we first find out. Most of us anyway. I was depressed, hurt, I felt like it was a perversion. This all kind of happened for me in a week or two. I think my 180 happened so fast because I joined the forum almost immediately, started talking to most of you and realized... This isn't as awful as I think it is.
I feel like some of your wives need to get on here and talk to some of the active GG's here Di, Reine, Dawn and I. We will tell them whats up.]
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