That word seems to appear quite often in this Forum. No "reasonable" person who ever bothers to READ responses, could possibly deny it.
1] Have you NEVER felt it?
2] If you HAVE in the past, and/or still do... WHY?
One very easy guess is because of what happens when you are dressed. In fact, it's pretty obvious. HUNDREDS of threads prove it.
Will figuring out the WHY of putting on the "wrong clothes" clothes [makes you feel bad in some way] perhaps set you "free"? Or has it?
Use to feel guilt / ashamed when I was young but not any more - just more like lacking acceptance and don't feel bad (never did ) just more normal.........................Debra
In past years I have fealt some guilt. It cam from hiding the fact from a SO. Now as things change and time goes by the guilt goes away and it more feeling of confusion and lack of acceptance, or should I say perceived lack of acceptance. Being still hidden and afraid to open up to my family and friends makes it difficult. They may accept or they may shun. Just afraid to take the chance.
Erica
agree totally with Debra. i did feel it when i was younger but I've grown to understand and accept myself. That wa a huge breakthrough for me.Originally Posted by Debra Russell
I never felt guilty about wearing women's clothing. I went through a long period of total confusion. Why if I really loved women I liked to wear their clothing? Not just any old piece of clothing. But, the entire deal; dresses (never any sort of pants-yuck), slips, bras, panties, hosiery, shoes, the entire ensemble. Very confusing. To have been branded a homosexual in the most perverse language of the day was confusing. Couldn't be. Finally, in my twenties I came to the realization I just liked to wear women's clothing. Never felt guilt.
Now, yes I angst over the non acceptance. Not of society. I choose not to venture out with my male physic to the mall. I'm content to be an at home cross dresser, and, venture into my secluded backyard. Yes, it would be nice if my wife were accepting. I know it bothers her. So, I don't want to pressure her.
So, no guilt. Just wish there would be more acceptance for cross dressers-period.
I didn't feel as much "guilt" for the most part as I did "shame." There was no internet when I way growing up, Alexander Graham Bell had practically just invented the phone, so for most of my young life I thought I was the only boy in the world who wanted to be a girl. And I so badly wanted to be a girl!
What I often wonder is how I knew to feel ashamed of my desire. What in the world told me it was wrong?
I didn't tumble to Deuteronomy 22:5 until I was about 14 years old. I was at services, sitting near a woman who always dressed well and whose clothes and shoes I deeply desired, and when we read it I was terrified as I thought God was going to strike me down on the spot!
Years later, acceptance by my spouse (I told her before we were married) and much introspection later, I realized that there was no reason for any guilt nor shame, and I finally began to accept, and even like, myself and to thank God for this wonderful gift.
Today I am out and about and love my life. My continuing travel thread, Travels With My Sister (click here) probably shows that.
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Guilt? Sure, who hasn't felt it?
At this point I don't really feel at all guilty about what I do. I'm out to the people who care about me, and they support me, and I can be who I am more or less when I want/need to be. Figuring out the why has never been a big deal to me. My guess is there isn't one reliable cause for any of us, and I have no desire to change either way.
No, I’ve never felt guilt about my crossdressing, but I carve out a space for myself whereby I can eschew guilt and have fun – this takes skill and practice. Beyond that, what’s there to feel guilty about? I’m not married, I have no children, I’m not a social animal, I work at home, and I am a lifelong hedonist – am I supposed to feel guilt about my…gulp…compulsion? Get real…
As for figuring out WHY I crossdress, and this fictitious event somehow setting me free, I can’t really go along with such a scenario. I assume there is NO be-all and end-all explanation for MtF crossdressing, otherwise I would’ve tripped over it by now. I never look into why I love the things I love, I just continue loving them – any explanation might burst my lovely pink balloon…
You know, I get the feeling that you’re a bit FRUSTRATED about other members not reading what you write, based on recent events. Am I correct? Join the club, my dear! By now, I assume that people are going to make what they want out of what you submit, no matter how carefully worded it may be (to you). Just relax, dump your words in front of everyone, and watch the discussions make a u-turn right before your eyes – try to see it as free entertainment…
Guilt, by definition is the feeling that you have done some thing you are not allowed to do.
There are few things so utterly despised in the western world as a girly-man, and ... let's face it ... every last one of us on this forum completely fits that description.
The reasons for that ... I don't know ... we could speculate all day, and as you point out, there is a corpus of thousands and thousands of threads full of speculation on the matter. I think it's enough to say "the world at large does not accept us, and is in no way silent on the matter".
Coming up, nobody ever had to tell me that wanting to dress in women's clothes, or to be "girly" in even the slightest way was "wrong". That message had already been pounded into my mind continuously by our culture since the day I was born in a billion different ways every single day. Of course ... eventually I was told just that, but someone had to find me out first. I already knew I was supposed to hide it, and I was like 8 years old.
Of course once we hit puberty there's a whole mess of other things to feel "guilty" about and that does nothing but muddy the waters.
So hell yeah. I feel guilty all the time about it. By now, it's practically instinctual.
The guilt, however is not justified, and I have to remind myself of that continuously as well.
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
I was born and grew up to be totally logical [just call me spock from Star trek]
There is no logical reason why it is wrong although upsetting other members of the family or destroying your marriage is arguably a reason for feeling guilty.
But having said that it is not wrong by definition.
The world in general says it’s wrong, I say its not.
Yes I have felt guilt, when it affected my family I felt very guilty , not because of what I am but because I let it affect or could not stop it effecting my family and to be honest if I think about it that is what is stopping me from being how I want to be even now , I just cannot see my family suffer any more just to make me happy , I must point out that they are not bothered about how I am it is the bother that they get from other people that would bring back my guilt , they have moved on from all the trouble but for some reason I can not , fear I guess of it all returning .
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
Yes, I do feel that every once in a while. Since I am just a part timer, it does not last long.
No guilt at all.
Not since my third and last purge 20 years ago. Even then, I'm not sure it was guilt or fear of getting caught.
Never. Never occurred to me, until I read your Thread.
No, how ridiculous. It’s who I am, it’s me and I’ll not be guilty of myself. I really feel more alive than when I’m dressed and out and about, at the mall, driving, walking the dog at a park, then in drab.
In drab, I think about what Cheryl would be wearing, or what she’ll be wearing that night.
When I’m dressed I NEVER think about being drab.
So the answer is NO.
NEVER.
Besides, it’s just too much fun being dressed to feel guilty about it.
I suggest you do the same, it makes life a lot more enjoyable. If anything, you should be proud of the fact that you know yourself and are willing to do whatever it takes to make you a whole, happy person.
I used to feel guilt Hon but that was while wearing the other "suit" which was nothing more than a fabrication for the convenience of others. These days I figure if someone doesn't like what I look like they can "lump" it, ya know?
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I still feel guilt..... for putting my wife through this... she didn't sign up for it.... not her fault... its all on me..... too much of a wuss to tell her early on..... never ment for her to find out the way she did..... that kind of guild will never go away.....
Yes, and NO, we sorted it out ages ago.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
So far, so good.
We have clearly established already that "Everyone has felt guilt or shame at one time or another" [or something similar] which appears quite often at these Forums... is a FORUM MYTH. Probably not really good for Newbies to read such statements and maybe become even more confused than they already are?
In the beginning it was just for fun and a dare. Then it became more and with the increase came a type of Guilt rooted in ignorance and embarrassment. But with time and a search for information I came to realize there was no harm to anyone and that guilt was out of place or misdirected in this case. But as a heterosexual CD I guess I have experienced or questioned all the emotions and questions anyone can. And Guilt was nothing more than a self imposed punishment for my own insecurity and ignorance.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
It's worth something just being around to Fuss!
I have had guilt for things I have done but never felt guilty for wearing womens clothes.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
not guilty your honour that would be my plea. I was just looking to buy some Compact Disks "Cross Dressers" I just stumbled on to this site looking to boost my music collection oh and those legs in the profile pic are not mine how did I ever get those red stockings on? I slipped and fell into them and the black shoes well I had to try them on after I fell into the stockings Cross Dress me NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!. No guilt here a good sense of humour can outrun any feelings of guilt I might have for never Cross Dressing.
My guilt is toward my wife not the dressing, she is the most beautiful person and all this was a bit unexpected/unwanted - this is my guilt. I didnt tell her until after we were married, however I didnt really know it ran as deep as it did either...I thought CDing was a bit of harmless fun; which it is for me but not for her. We can talk quite openly about CDing, she has even purchased things for me, we're just moving slowly toward [total] acceptance (we may never get there but we're in a good space)
1/ Yes, for years - utterly conflicting
2/ Not so much now I know I am not alone, and am starting to embrace this side of me.
Although I continue to be concerned that this won't hurt others I care about..
Learning to be me - the best me I can be
Missed my post then?
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