First time your wife saw you completely dressed

[kimdl93]

A couple of threads this morning got me thinking back to the first time my wife saw me entirely en femme, the works.

My wife knew from before we were engaged an over the ensuing years had seen me at various stages of dress, but never completely. She was generally accepting but had that one last condition...not wanting to see me fully dressed.

On the fateful day, I dressed up when she left to shop with her daughter. I had work to do, but by this time I was dressing pretty much full time when alone...so I got fixed up and went to work.

Some months before I'd asked her if it was ok if I dressed completely in her presence. She wasn't entirely thrilled so I put off asking again. This time it was different. I was still dressed when she texted that she was on her way home. I had plenty of time to shift back, thought long and hard about it and called her. I explained that I was fully dressed and wanted to stay that way. There was a long pause and then she said OK...with little enthusiasm.

When she got home I met her at the door. She was not happy. We sat down and talked...she said that this wasn't her favorite. I said I felt a deep loneliness having to keep this from her. We talked about what to do. I offered to go back to solitary dressing if that's what she could handle. She said,no stay dressed, but with little doubt that it was not something she wanted. I got up, told her our marriage was more important than dressing openly and went to shower.

I returned in male mode and went about my business. A little later my wife came to me, embraced me and said she thought we should reconsider, because she could see the joy had been sucked right out of me. In truth, it had. I said, ok, let's talk later.

That night in bed she said " I need to say one thing. It's OK for you to dress around me. I know you're the same person, no matter how you are dressed, and I want you to be happy. After all, it's just clothes."

Since then I've gradually spent more time dressed in her presence...at least 50% but I do try to present as male from time to time, just to maintain some balance.

For those who are out with your wife or SO, please share your first experience dressing in her presence and the context leading up to that moment.

[Ceri Anne]

That's a great and inspiring story, I only hope when I come out to my wife that we eventually get to that point.

[Jenniferathome]

Mine laughed out loud, a nervous sort of release, then she said, you look better than I thought you would. Her biggest concern about seeing me dressed was that she would continue to see me that way when not dressed. Those,fears were put to rest that day.

[Raychel]

Great story Kim.

My story is kinda similar. I told my wife about my dressing about 10 years into our marriage
It was not a good time. We had a pretty rough spell over it, But she did eventually say the same thing
it is only clothes, and she did not want to ever see me dressed. Well over tome at her pace she did
eventually see me dressed. She has grown more comfortable with it over the years. I am sure that
in the back of her mind she would wish it would just go away. But she has grown to accept this part
of me. Not necessarily love it, But she can deal with it.

She did not laugh or say anything bad when she did see me. But I did catch her glancing down at
my boobs very often, Still do catch her. Eyes are up here.

[linda allen]

My wife has never seen me "entirely en femme, the works". She has seen me (and sees me on a regular basis) in blouses, skirts, dresses, women's shoes and jewelry. She saw me a few times in my first wig but she said it looked "fake" so I haven't worn it around her since. She knows I have padded panties but she hasn't seen me in them (they make a big difference). She gave me some tights but hasn't seen me wearing them. She knows I got another wig but hasn't seen me in it yet.

She very seldom wears makeup so it's hard to bring that subject up. Just a little lipstick and powder over the beard shadow makes a big difference but I haven't done it around her. It's hard for here to understand why I would want to get all dressed up just to hang around the house.

I've been dealing with health issues for six months now so I haven't been pushing the envelope lately. I hope to get back on track soon.

Oh - She was with me the first skirt I bought. One day I was wearing it when she came home from her workout. I came to the door to meet her and she looked me up and down and said "I just hate it when my husband looks better in a skirt than I do!"

[RADER]

My wife saw me partly dressed while we where dating. I did not have much
back then, a few skirts, tops, and 5 bathing suits.
After we where married, we sat down one Sunday while I had my skirt on,
and we talked. She said that I could dress any way I wanted at home, just
do not go outside and embarrass her.
A few years later, she also did not want me to shave all the chest hair I have;
I do have a lot, and she liked to run her fingers through it at night.
We where married over 19 years; She would find outfits for me in the Catalogs,
About the only place where I could find my size. She was the one who insisted
that I get some Wigs, and I did. I still have my Mustache, I do not want to remove it.
The Angles called for her back in Early April, I will miss by buddy.
Rader

[AmyGaleRT]

Sabrina saw me dressed (full clothing and jewelry, but no makeup) the night I told her. Her reaction was "I'm jealous, you look more feminine than I do!" The evening turned into a bit of a fashion show, as I showed off several different outfits.

She always insists on seeing me after I've made the transformation, usually by saying, "Come out here!" I go out to the living room and show her, usually with a little posing or a twirl. She does generally tell me I look fine.

- Amy

[kimdl93]

Amy, what lead up to that moment?

[melissakozak]

I was 19 years old when I completely dressed in front of my then girlfriend and now wife....That was 1990....she actually didn't mind too much but also quickly realized it wasn't just fun and games....

[switcheralso]

I wrote my wife when we were in a 10 year mark and luckily she laughed and did not cry. Last week we were at JCPenny and she bought me my first dress. That was 7 years ago when I wrote the letter.

[KimberlyJean]

My wife and I are firmly on the don't want to see territory, however she will walk in on me sometimes when I think she knows what I am doing. She doesn't really get a good look (like I was sitting on the couch with my back to the door and all she saw was my wig and earrings) and I don't get to wear make up very often so she doesn't get the total look. She caught me wearing heels the other day and wanted to see them. I want to show her because I have gotten alot better at being Kimberly, but I do not want to start a fight.

[jenni_xx]

Hi Kim.

That's such a wonderful story, and two things immediately spring to mind that form the crux of any strong, loving relationship - those being your statement about your marriage being more important than your dressing, and your wife's response in regards to your happiness. Both these comments are made from people who are putting the other person first, over and above their own wishes. From what you wrote, I genuinely believe that you being prepared to put your dressing to one side in favour of your wife's happiness is crux to enabling her to reconsider. You saying what you did (and doing what you did (getting up, showering, and changing into your male clothes) is a wonderful and unselfish and loving thing to do, and I applaud you wholeheartedly for that.

I've told several partners of my crossdressing. The first girlfriend I told accepted it. The first time she saw me dressed she laughed, but in way that didn't make me feel demeaned at all. I remember shaking like a leaf, and she noticed this and I think that broke down the barrier to some extent. The second partner, she actually introduced it into our relationship herself when out of the blue she got some lingerie and asked me to put it on. She knew my previous girlfriend through her older sister and even though this was never confirmed, I believe that she found out about my cross-dressing through my ex-girlfriend telling her sister, and in turn her sister telling her. She embraced it and accepted it completely - we would go shopping together, she would do my make-up, and we went out in the gay village in Manchester on a few occasions. The third person I told, it took a while for her to wrap her head around it, and to her credit she did try to embrace it. The first time I dressed in front of her was after a day's shopping together and her reaction was that I looked better than she thought I would. A short while later, we were both out in London and a cross-dresser walked passed us - her reaction was to look at me and say that he didn't look as good as I do. That was a big confidence boost! However, despite trying, she never truly came to terms with it and would use it against me in some arguments that we had. At one point during a particular argument, she even told me that I need to see a psychiatrist because (in her words) I was not right in the head.

The last partner I've told is my current partner, who is male. I actually told him the first night I meet him, and he was intrigued by it. He saw me dressed and was totally taken aback. He has been nothing but accepting of my cross-dressing and we often go out together with me dressed.

[Di]

Great story and thank you for sharing.

For those who are out with your wife or SO, please share your first experience dressing in her presence and the context leading up to that moment.

First time I met Sherlyn was our first date ......our story is a little different We were friends here on the forum and decided to meet.
I did not meet the guy side right away and she was nervous me meeting the guy side.

[Claire Cook]

I first told her that I CD'd about a month after we were married. When I asked her if I could dress for a bit, she said "Well, OK if it will make you feel better." When she saw me, her response was "You look like a French *****." Talk about a reality check!

That was 45 years ago, and for much of the intervening time I did not dress much. I feel so lucky to have a strong marriage and a wife who accepts me for who I am, her reaction is similar to what Kim has said. And she hasn't made that comment since...

[Tina B.]

After five years of a rocky relationship, I finally came to the conclusion that we where on our way to divorce court unless there was a change, I decided the only hope for us was if I came clean about the inter turmoil that was making me so unhappy and such a grouchy person that was depressed way to much of the time. I blamed myself for the problems we where having, but couldn't seem to stop taking my feeling out on everyone around me.
So I remembered what my momma always said, "Honesty is the best policy" and sat the wife down for the talk. The way things where going I figured she would be out the door before I finished trying to explain myself, but I was tried of living like we where, and figured it was time to fix it or put it out of it's misery. After just a few minutes of me fumbling around, I blurted it out, I'm a cross dresser! Then I explained what I meant by that, and looked at me an smiled like a teacher looking at here favorite pupil, that thought he had disappointed her. Her words where something to the effect of, "is that all this is about, I thought it was something serious. That afternoon, she took me shopping and bought me two complete outfits, just about busted the weekly budget.
After we got home from the shopping trip, she said, "well, let see how we did, go get dressed". Now that was about the most nerve racking thing I ever did, I had just told her about me, no way was I ready to dress in front of here yet, but what could I do, she was being so great about things, I did as told and put on this Mint green dress, wig, and hose and heels, and pulled up by big girl panties and went out to the living room. She looked up, smiled and said you look cute. I don't know what was really going through her mind, but you look cute, was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and if there ever was a time I needed to here something like that, it was at that moment. At that moment, I fell madly in love with that women, all over again, and would, do anything to keep that smile on her face.
Since that day, I think our marriage is as about as good a marriage as I've ever seen, and for the last 37 years I have been free to dress at least at home, anyway, any time, I please.

[Jillian Faith]

Mine laughed out loud, a nervous sort of release, then she said, you look better than I thought you would. Her biggest concern about seeing me dressed was that she would continue to see me that way when not dressed. Those,fears were put to rest that day.

Although my wife didn't laugh out loud she had the same concern as Jennifer's wife.

[Cheryl T]

After a few months of discussion after coming out fully to my wife we agreed that I would be dressed one night for her. She had gone to an Xmas party with friends and I spent the time getting ready. I was a nervous wreck the whole time...would she freak, would she scream, would she run and hide. All these thoughts because I had never dressed for anyone else before and especially not someone that I love.
She came home about midnight and I was wearing a blouse and skirt, stockings, heels....everything. I had COMPLETELY shaved that day from head to toe. My nails were done (oh how difficult that was as I was shaking the whole time) and my makeup the best since I had really, really taken my time.
Well, she came in the door and I stood to greet her not knowing what to expect. It was almost like standing for inspection in the Army. She looked and looked, walked around me, inspected my makeup and outfit and finally said, "you look good". Then she went on to say she would have worn a different top with the skirt and so on, but she never made a negative comment about ME.
We talked again, like we had for the last few months and it was such a relief to be finally dressed WITH someone, especially her, and not be rejected which had always been my worst fear. From that night we progressed. I would dress but not let her see the transition, to letting her see me as I dressed and did my makeup. Now we go out all the time, I dress when ever I wish at home (most every day now) and when we get ready it's just us gals prepping for a day or night out.
We've actually become closer as I finally opened a tightly closed door to her and our marriage is so much better now that we share EVERYTHING!

She has become very accepting and makes little comments now and then in jest. We were in a restaurant one night with friends from our Tri-Ess chapter and I was wearing a nice white blouse with a white lace bra and she looked at me and said, "you're such a ****"...and laughed. When I asked why she said that she told me that my nipples were very visible through the bra and blouse. When I looked in the mirror I saw she was right and just said, "well, you knew that when you married me". We both laughed and have been laughing so much more now.

[Jennifer in CO]

this is long, but it tells a story...

We met in college and had dated a year. It got pretty exclusive with one another towards the end of that year and when we went to our respective homes over the summer we talked every other day by phone. She wrote probably 3 letters a week as well. I wrote probably 4 the entire summer.

But one of them I felt I needed to explained that I liked to wear girls clothes. If she were repulsed, then a summer to heal and start over would help. She wasn't, and we talked about this a few times after. She finally commented that "so long as I didn't want to "be" a girl she was ok" she told me after a few weeks. I subsequently asked her to marry me. The response was a package with a red heart and a pink bra/pantie set.

I had told her of a few styles I liked and over the next month two more packages arrived. In one was a pair of slacks - gauze/linen construction with no belt loops - and no pockets. About 2 weeks later another arrived. This one had two tops in it. One a peasant top made from the same material as the slacks and another top in navy made with a polished knit, similar to the peasant top but without the "girly-ness" (no elastic and no bunched sleeves).

I wore the navy top with the slacks, the bra/pantie set along with a pair of Shear Energy suntan pantyhose (had to hide the pink panties from showing through the slacks!) and a pair of earth shoes when I flew back up at the end of the summer...and to officially ask for her hand in marriage (yes I was raised old fashioned). That was the outfit I had on as I asked her parents for her hand and as I slipped the ring on her finger...and the first time she saw me "dressed".

Now the first time she saw me "girly" wasn't till after we were married...about 2 hours after as a matter of fact...

When we married, we wore matching trousseau's under our wedding clothes - "virgin" white bra/panties/garter/hose and waist cinchers. She was really into matching. When we left the wedding, our going away outfits matched as well. Knowing my penchant for cross dressing in public without anyone knowing, my wife prepared our going away outfits.

We wore white satin blouses with a wide lace yoke and chiffon sleeves with 4 inch satin cuffs, white slacks (no pockets/no zips), same matching bra/pantie/garter/hose set (we both removed the waist cinchers), and white T-strap shoes all under matching white down jackets so no one could see our tops. Since it was already in the low 20's that night and we thought the down jackets smart and no big deal.

Well, the plan was not thought all the way through. We left the wedding and drove the two hours to the airport to fly from Denver to New Orleans for our honeymoon. Standing in the airport in Denver wearing down jackets it started getting warm pretty quick. My wife removed her jacket first and it was way past obvious that you could see her bra not only through the blouse but the lace yoke as well.

Which meant mine was going to be equally obvious.

So, we made a quick detour into a restroom and she whipped out her makeup case. Five minutes later, I had on base, eye liner, blue eye shadow, and a deep shade of red lipstick. She parted my shoulder length hair on one side and pulled it back with a white barret on the other. She then painted my nails a white frost to match hers. So dressed we boarded the plane to NO.

Several of the flight crew asked if we were part of a drill team or some form of performing act or something. We came up with the cover story of doing a performance and then having to head back early for family reasons. No more prying and no real issues till we got to NO.
People look at two girls kinda strange who are dressed alike anyway...but at 2am in NO and they are asking about a cab to the heart of the French Quarter? We got some really strange looks.

We finally got into our room at almost 3:30am. We were very tired but very giddie at the same time. Anything made us giggle like two school girls such that me passing as one was no problem. Most of you will know what two "kids" do on a honeymoon, so I wont go into details. BUT, I didn't leave the room the rest of that weekend without makeup on if that answers the question....

Jenn

[Sabrina133]

...I've told several partners of my crossdressing.
The last partner I've told is my current partner, who is male. I actually told him the first night I meet him, and he was intrigued by it. He saw me dressed and was totally taken aback. He has been nothing but accepting of my cross-dressing and we often go out together with me dressed.

Thats great to hear Jenni. My second partner was a male and he was non too thrilled about it. It was a huge reason why we broke up - that and he was a jerk. My first SO, a GG never knew. My current partner, a GG has known from the begining. We will often go out clubbing as girlfriends.

[PretzelGirl]

My dressing developed with my wife knowing all along. So in the beginning, it was all about underdressing. Once it started to evolve into complete dressing, it wasn't a big deal. My first two dressed were ones we went out and purchased together. After I started buying things on my own, I was actually shy about coming out of the bedroom with some of it on. Occasionally I could get comments like "Who helped you pick that out" and "you aren't planning on going out in that". Well, those things went away as I got better at selecting things.

[jenni_xx]

Thats great to hear Jenni. My second partner was a male and he was non too thrilled about it. It was a huge reason why we broke up - that and he was a jerk. My first SO, a GG never knew. My current partner, a GG has known from the begining. We will often go out clubbing as girlfriends.

Hi Sab. I guess I "lucked out" in regards to my current partner. In much the same way that many cd's here are fortunate to have an accepting partner - the worry being that their SO's want to be with a man. Whether a straight female or gay male, that applies. So for that reason I see myself as no more fortunate than a straight cd who has a partner who is accepting. Reading many posts here, it does seem to be more the norm that we tell our SO's further down the line - when the relationship has already grown, so in that respect my situation is a little different in that I told my partner the very first time I met him - just like you told your SO. We've been together for quite a while now, and are now in a civil relationship, although with the recent passing of the gay marriage laws in the UK, we are making plans to renew our vows and be married in a more official, traditional sense. Which has also raised another point - I'd love to get married wearing a wedding dress. We both wore suits for our civil ceremony, and he knows that I'd just love to wear a wedding dress. My only worry is no so much how he'd react (I'd only do it if he was happy for me to do so), but how all the other guests react. Most of our friends and family know I crossdress, but with some of them it's a case of them not wanting any part of it. So in that respect I feel a little torn between doing what I want to do and doing what is expected of me. And to be fair, because pretty much all of our friends and family have been so accepting of our relationship, I don't want to push it in any way.

[Laura912]

My wife was told during a time of stress for her so that she felt she had company dealing with issues. She asked to see Laura, so she showed up in a full length, red, gown but wearing a bit of a cheesy wig. Her comment was WOW! You look wonderful. That was over 15 years ago in a 46 year marriage. No resentment from not being told earlier. No rules except not going out when we would both be recognized. A much better wig later, more clothes, more often dressed in front of her (to the extent of just wearing a new pair of 1.5 inch heel sandals, male shorts and tee shirt, to break the shoes in). Retirement is wonderful for a lot of reasons.

[Diana Bain]

It's was the 6th of June 1994. We'd been dating for about three weeks. I felt so comfortable around her and thought we might have something. In my earlier life, my first wife had absolutely no tolerance or understanding at all. So here was someone I want to tell up front and if it wasn't meant to be I'd find out now. I said to her that I needed to tell her something important...so we sat down and I told her I was a crossdresser. She took it well and asked a ton of the usual questions. We married 5 months later...not that we didn't have issues, we did and it has worked out well. Just over two years ago she suggested that I spend more time as Diana...I'm very lucky that she now calls me her girl friend. To such an extent now she understands my desire to become more of a woman and is completely onboard with me starting HRT which I started about a month ago...I am so proud to have this woman in my life...I'm truly blessed.

[Sabrina133]

Diana, wow, that is such a huge step. I am happy she is supportive about your transition. Such a step brings about so many questions.

[ShannonDragon]

My (then future) wife and I met in collage. After we had been dating for about 6 weeks, I told her about my other self. I didn't have much of anything and she let me "borrow" a few items of hers. We later on went out and bought me my very first dress that was truly mine.

She was in pre-Pharm and had 4 years to go after that. She could have backed down at any time but didn't. Said they were just clothes and it was who I was. We had rings a few years before we got married, After she graduated, we married that fall had have been together 35 years. She sees me fully dressed all of the time and its been no big deal.

Shannon always gets something at birthday & Christmas.