New phase plus question for the group

[Dianne S]

So... after 17 years without going out in public cross-dressed, I have re-joined a local CD group. Yesterday, my wife could see how stressed I was so she told me to buy some new women's clothes and rejoin the group. I obeyed.

I am working my way through my leg hair with an epilator (ouch!) which is going very slowly. Also, I need to get rid of my beard. I have an actual beard, which is one reason my face does not appear in my avatar. I also have to re-learn makeup skills that have been forgotten over the last 17 years... feeling rather nervous!

Our kids are going to notice. I'm so tempted just to tell them, but I'm very nervous. So question... who here has told their kids? And how old were the kids when you told them? (Mine are 19, 15 and 11, all girls). And how did they react?

[amy101]

I recently told my youngest daughter who is 17 about my crossdressing and it went far better than I could ever expect she even wanted to go shopping and helped pick out makeup I only wish I had told my kids earlier and not stressed about it so much

[Di]

My

UNLESS you are going 24/7......I really do not see why you should tell them It doesnt sound like you live your life enfemme.
With bullying ect I do not think the two youngest should be burdened with this. Keeping secrets is harmful to kids soooooooo UNLESS it will be out in the open to EVERYONE- work, neighbors, family everyone.....I really do not see this helping them but only making it easier for you.
If it is just because you are shaving just say the hair bugged you and thought you would give it a try.

[heatherdress]

My

UNLESS you are going 24/7......I really do not see why you should tell them It doesnt sound like you live your life enfemme.
With bullying ect I do not think the two youngest should be burdened with this. Keeping secrets is harmful to kids soooooooo UNLESS it will be out in the open to EVERYONE- work, neighbors, family everyone.....I really do not see this helping them but only making it easier for you.
If it is just because you are shaving just say the hair bugged you and thought you would give it a try.

Agree. Why create more stress. Your wife is encouraging you. Your daughters will not care if you shave. Enjoy yourself and do not look for more stress.

[boink]

I have a 5-month old kid who is going to grow up around my transness, but that was a decision my wife and I made well before the birth. We prefaced it by making sure we were out to all the relevant friends/family that we felt comfortable with. I think there is plenty of benefit in being open and honest with your kids about who you are, and showing them that this isn't something that needs to be hidden. But you have to be ready for the possibility that if you come out to your girls that they will be potentially any combination of resentful, confused, curious, surprised, excited, disgusted, angry, embarrassed, etc. and you should be ready for the possibility of being outed to others by your kids (intentionally or not). Ultimately if you show your kids that you're still their parent, that you still love them, and that this is just a part of who you are they probably will accept it and move on, even if it takes a little time. The decision should be yours and your wife's and you should consider it carefully.

[Eryn]

I am working my way through my leg hair with an epilator (ouch!) which is going very slowly.

Do yourself a huge favor and wax or sugar the hair off first! You can do it yourself and the discomfort is much less than the constant plucking of epilating. After you are smooth the epilator is much nicer to use for maintainance.

Our kids are going to notice. I'm so tempted just to tell them, but I'm very nervous. So question... who here has told their kids? And how old were the kids when you told them? (Mine are 19, 15 and 11, all girls). And how did they react?

We told our daughters at ages 19 and 20, after they had gone to college. One is fine with it and has even gone out with me dressed. The other is accepting, but is needing some time to get her mind around the concept.

I wouldn't be so concerned about your older daughters as I would be with the 11-year-old. The concept of confidentiality isn't quite as developed at that age and secrets are often things to be shared with one's best friends, which of course can change quite often. You are unlikely to keep the secret if the 11-year-old knows.

[Dianne S]

Do yourself a huge favor and wax or sugar the hair off first!

Too late! It's mostly done and if what I've read here is true, subsequent epilating sessions won't be nearly as bad.

I wouldn't be so concerned about your older daughters as I would be with the 11-year-old. The concept of confidentiality isn't quite as developed at that age and secrets are often things to be shared with one's best friends, which of course can change quite often. You are unlikely to keep the secret if the 11-year-old knows.

Yep. After thinking about it a while, I realized it is far too much of a burden to place on the 11- and 15-year-olds. I'm not ready to come out in public yet and I don't want them to feel the pressure of keeping it confidential.

[Di]

Yep. After thinking about it a while, I realized it is far too much of a burden to place on the 11- and 15-year-olds. I'm not ready to come out in public yet and I don't want them to feel the pressure of keeping it confidential.

Very glad to hear that Of course if things change and you live your life enfemme...that would be different....or when they are older....different story.

[MysticLady]

Yesterday, my wife could see how stressed I was so she told me to buy some new women's clothes and rejoin the group. I obeyed.

Sorry for the major inconvenience . Im sure she had to twist your arm real bad

Our kids are going to notice. I'm so tempted just to tell them, but I'm very nervous. So question... who here has told their kids? And how old were the kids when you told them? (Mine are 19, 15 and 11, all girls). And how did they react?

My recommendation would be not too. Not yet at least, mostly because of the younger ones. Still to young for them to not try to understand this. Trying to understand this may be a wear mentally to them.

[Marissa V]

well, i told my daughter when she was 8....now a year on she asks me when Marcia will be taking her to the playground, she cant wait for it. Reason i told her is simple. I dont want to hold any secrets towards her to begin with, second because she will notice things like shaved legs and armpits and stuff like that. And the reason i told her at that age is because she isnt polluted yet by stereotype arguements that society gives them at later age. And the reason she soo loves it is because she sees the changes in me since i opened up to everyone. There is no reason you need to explain the why's and so because they might not understand it, but telling them is not a bad thing neither. It all depends on your kids too. I knew mine was ready for it, dont ask how...i just knew. And look at me and my daughter now....

[MysticLady]

I knew mine was ready for it, dont ask how...i just knew. And look at me and my daughter now....

A parent knows their child best. I agree, you as a parent must know and read your children well. If not, consequences may follow. My children are all boys and I know they're not ready for this part of me..........yet

[Dianne S]

Do yourself a huge favor and wax or sugar the hair off first!

So... after painfully clearing about 10 cm^2 with the epilator each time before needing to stop, I bought some Veet wax strips. Did a couple of test patches. It hurts like hell when you rip them off, but it's easier to take than the epilator (which looks like some kind of high-tech torture device.)

I think I'll be able to clear my legs in the next day or so and then just use the epilator for maintenance as per Eryn's suggestion. The wax strips do leave the odd hair behind which I guess will need epilating.

[Marissa V]

there is one question that keeps popping in my head every time there is a topic like this...

There is always talk about how intollerant society is, and its true, i dont deny that one bit. But in that same talk about tollerance you often read how nice it would be if society would change and look at us as normal ppl... Now, if that is the wish, why even wonder if you should tell your kids? Why not start with our own kids to change society...arent they 'our future'? This question is by no means ment to point fingers to anyone, dont get me wrong here. And i know there is more to look at than just society, but i always wonder... why dont we tell our kids to make sure that at least the family is tollerant about it?

And then there is that thing were we always say...TELL YOUR SO... and then you often read that it is impossible to explain in such a way that our SO's understand, that it is because we are wired this way. Again...why treat our kids different? And i agree it is a parents duty to keep children 'free of harm', and that includes harrassing at school ect, i do see where it comes from. But isnt it also our task to teach them stuff like tollerance towards others ect? Or do we really want our school system to teach them that? Or the media?

[BethCD]

Dawn, My daughter discovered me accidentally about a year ago. I had been wanting to find a way to bring it into the open....She was helping update my phone and came across some pics of Beth at a TG event, asked who that was, and it all came out. She took it very well. She is 33.
Only you know how well your girls might take the news and possibly share it.
Best of luck, Beth

[Dianne S]

I think I would consider telling the 19-year-old, but not the 15- or 11-year-olds. The problem is I think the 19-y-o would tell her sisters, so I guess I have to wait a least another 8 years....

[Beverley Sims]

I would keep it away from the kids altogether.
If they find out and are accepting later in life all good then.