It was the taboo connotations that increased my interest at first and staying inside the first 2 years seems to be all part that..I felt power and control within my little secret. Eventually, I did grow curious and got out through the encouragement of another cd girlfriend.So I began a rush of getting out for 2 straight years thinking I would land a reason for all this....of course I didn't. The one important thing I did learn is that I don't have pigeon hole myself into any"reasons why".I'm free to be curious and choose,I am free to be creative in my expression..irregardless.
In a way,getting out confirmed that self expression and helped me to evolve somewhat.I enjoy my time out,and it feels good but nowadays I'm pretty content with things at home too and realize I need to give equal amounts of time to all my endeavors in order to stay happy.I guess we all evolve and find that perfect balance sooner or later.I do know this...if one chooses to be inside only they shouldn't allow feelings of inadequacy to push them out the door,that time just seems to come.