Is being closeted more exciting?

[FelicityMay]

So I just hit 3 months of being completely open about being a cross dresser. I even live in a place now that I am welcome to dress up any time I want, and I even get to go out in public dressed up every so often.

But one thing I have noticed, is that I seem to remember getting more of a thrill when I was just starting, when I had to sneak around and not let anyone find out that I was doing it. I still enjoy doing it now, but it just feels too normal to me now, and I don't get that big rush of feeling like I'm doing something crazy any more...

Is it because it's just starting to wear off on me over time? or is it because everyone knows now, and it doesn't matter who finds out?

[Diana Bain]

Could be your just feeling normal. I think we've all felt that rush of going out. I did at first, but now I feel like anyone else...its part of life. I know...boring answer

[Kate Simmons]

Well, women don't get excited about wearing women's clothes. I guess it's just part of the "turf" when you can express who you are freely. Maybe try some performing or modeling? That tends to get you excited. I know it does me because I love doing it. Just need to find our "groove" sometimes Hon.

[Erica2Sweet]

I believe your internal feelings are changing because you're transitioning from a roller-coaster ride of emotional reactions tied to the secretive dressing, to a more healthy and stable form of presentation and self-expression. The highs you feel likely won't be as high, but with this new way of expressing yourself comes a feeling of internal peace and contentment with your gender expression. You'll likely find you don't need those mega-highs anymore because the internal void you were once trying to fill no longer needs filling...

[docrobbysherry]

U can only have ONE "first time" for anything. Including dressing. The more u do something, the more it becomes ordinary!

Personally, I don't get a thrill from sneaking around to dress and when I'm dressed. It's stressful, not exciting. One thing that makes closet dressing enjoyable for me is there r no limits on what I can wear or NOT wear! As opposed to having to dress to blend when I go out! Yech!

Sherry prefers to dress any way she feels like at the moment. That changes when we go out!

[Ina Girdle]

I am finding that Cross Dressing in what ever form we participate, is an ever evolving and very personal journey. I started very young, before puberty, and then when that hit, CDing evolved into a whole new sexual experience. As I am getting into my 50's and am a lot more comfortable with who I am, I have opened up to my wife. So the secrecy is gone, at least to her. So sure you are removing the whole GUILT & BEING CAUGHT drama and starting to cope with what is driving this evolution. This is your journey, take it to where ever you feel comfortable and savour the trip. Life is too short to be afraid to do what you feel you have to be doing.

All the best and have FUN!!
Ina

[Tracii G]

Felicity thats a pretty normal result when you are "out" to others.
Some close friends will ask me to go places with them but will ask which person is coming?I give them the option.
60% of the time it will be girl mode they ask for.

[RebeccaLynne]

Good question, Felicity. Thank you for posing it. This a subject near and dear to my heart. The following two paragraphs are for background... I promise I'll address the topic thereafter.

Although I refer to myself as "in-house" rather than "closeted", I understand using the latter as the accepted term for those of us who prefer enjoying our crossdressing in private, and are perfectly happy doing so. My closets are far too small to accomodate anything other than my ever-increasing wardrobe!

I'm "out" only to my GF, her female BFF, and my former spouse. I imagine my daughters may have their suspicions, as they've seen (and been out with) me dressed enfemme trick-or-treating for Halloween. The whole nine yards... shaved legs and underarms, nails polished, foundation, eyeshadow and mascara, lipstick, powder, blush... all rather artfully applied by yours truly. Add to that, breastforms, appropriate undergarments, stylish outerwear, and properly fitting pumps... I should mention my hair is longer now than in my avatar pic, and I've certainly learned how to "femme it up"... yeah, the clues are all there, 'though we've never really discussed it. Afterall, I'm their Dad, not their Mom.

Honestly, I love the thrill of crossdressing at home, in secret! Just knowing that my neighbors are totally oblivious to my behind closed doors activities is exhilarating and, dare I say, positively decadent... if they only knew! Oh, how scandalous!!! I thoroughly enjoy every minute of CD'ing in secret.... 'cause only I know! That's an adrenaline rush that continues to enhance every day off from work, since I relish the opportunity to crossdress all day, every day... 'til it's time to do the "guy thing" again.

Five days working, and two days crossdressing... works for me!

Is it because it's just starting to wear off on me over time? or is it because everyone knows now, and it doesn't matter who finds out?

Felicity, either, or maybe both, of them. I believe in finding out what works for you, and, once you've found it, keep doing it until you feel it no longer fits your needs... then, experiment! You're young, and the possibilities are endless... so enjoy!

[Stephanie47]

I suppose cross dressing is like anything else in life. It's akin to a child not being able to cross the street. He wonders what's on the other side. It's the forbidden fruit. Once he gets there he realizes it's no big deal. When he finds he can cross the street whenever he wants, he usually crosses when there is a reason.

As an in-home heterosexual cross dresser in a DADT marriage, which is fine with me, I can dress whenever I have the need or desire. No longer do I have to pant at the table waiting for some crumbs of time to fall my way. Consequently, I am finding I am dressing less and less.

Each of us ultimately will find the right amount of balance for themselves, and, not others.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Let's see. Four walls. Kinda cramp. Dark.
Sounds like the room with no view I was in back in 1980 at the Stockade in Germany. Solitary confinement is not a good thing to be in. My own darn fault.
Point is: We create our own prisons, for what ever reason. We decide the sentence and duration of stay and we are our own "self appointed" wardens who decide when we get to get out, if ever.

[Emogene]

Are we mistaking the adrenaline rush of fear for excitement?

Personally, the pure contentment and peace of being feminine is what I'm seeking!

[RebeccaLynne]

Are we mistaking the adrenaline rush of fear for excitement?

Emogene, please elaborate. Who are the "we'" you reference? The membership in general? "Closeted" CD'ers? You?... are you fearful? Not me. Excited? I am... and you?

Personally, the pure contentment and peace of being feminine is what I'm seeking!

I'd wager the vast majority here have at least a smidgen of femininity... we're all seeking the peace and contentment commensurate with attaining that goal... may you find what you're seeking.

[julia marie]

Well, women don't get excited about wearing women's clothes. I guess it's just part of the "turf" when you can express who you are freely. Maybe try some performing or modeling? That tends to get you excited. I know it does me because I love doing it. Just need to find our "groove" sometimes Hon.

Kate. Women don't get excited about wearing women's clothing. It's just to them almost all clothing is "womens clothing" . If they don't get excited by it, why do they spend so much time and money buying those clothes? They always want something "different" or special. They like the way those clothes make them look and feel. Hmm, I do too! Women just don't recognize that they have so many clothing options, from jeans and tee shirt to elegant evening wear. And, most of them make the most of it, judging by the way they look. Yes, i think they enjoy it.

[PaulaQ]

@ Felicity - if you want the excitement back, just marry a good, devout but intolerant LDS woman, and don't tell her you CD, but carry on in secret for the next 10 years or so. It's really exciting - just ask almost anyone here!

Or, try going to church, or a redneck bar. That can get exciting too.

Note: sometimes boredom is wonderful. Congrats - you feel normal now. This is how normal people feel, they are bored... :-)

[Erica Marie]

I would say "thrill" comes from the reasons you crossdress. If its for sexual reasons, if you are doing it and trying not to get caught or if it is to express who you are. Being closeted for me is no thrill what so ever. Actually it is very frustratin. It is about being who I am on the inside.

[Maria 60]

You know what they say "it's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase"

[Crissy Kay]

As a long time closet cd I can say with out a doubt, Maybe!!!

[Aly Cat]

For me, I just want to live my life how I want. I hate secrets. It would be nice to be able to dress openly. I would definitely feel more comfortable being me that way. I'm tired of all the drama of it not being accepted or having to hide it. I just want to be able to wear what I want and be comfortable.

[Christine.Lolita]

When you dress every day and you are accepted I think this would normalize being cross dressed and as such would not be a big deal. This would certainly reduce the thrill, but I would think also the anxiety. Not to say you have ever felt anxiety over being dressed, I do not know how you feel about that.
In my case I have anxiety over being seen by people who do not know that I cross dress and that for me does elevate the sense of excitement that I feel. I would rather it was normalized so I could be dressed when and where ever it suited me.

[Rebecca Cross Bracer]

Guess I should have read some posts before posting my question...looks like we were thinking the same thing today.

[CarolynO]

What you described happened to a lot of us including me.When I was younger and waited to sneak a few hours or 1/2 a day,got a tremendous thrill.Now that I live alone,have all the time in the world,
enjoy it but not that great high I used to have.Nature's cruel irony I guess.

[AmandaJean]

Eva, I feel the same way. No secrets.

[Jaylyn]

[QUOTE=RebeccaLynne;3213359]

Although I refer to myself as "in-house" rather than "closeted",


Honestly, I love the thrill of crossdressing at home, in secret! Just knowing that my neighbors are totally oblivious to my behind closed doors activities is exhilarating and, dare I say, positively decadent... if they only knew! Oh, how scandalous!!! I thoroughly enjoy every minute of CD'ing in secret.... 'cause only I know! That's an adrenaline rush that continues to enhance every day off from work, since I relish the opportunity to crossdress all day, every day... 'til it's time to do the "guy thing" again.

I just want to say this is exactly the way I seem to enjoy the experience at this time although other things such as meeting another CD or two and maybe going out one day but for now I love what Rebecca said it fits me now.

[Beverley Sims]

You are certainly coming down off a high.
Now you are more confident there are other ways to raise the excitement now.

[kimdl93]

I think that being able to go out and interact with people helps diminish the fantasy, the elicit eroticism or the allure of the forbidden that so many young CDrs associate with dressing up. When you get out and mingle, real life takes over and the clothes are once again, just something you wear. Personally, I think that's a good thing.