Do we ever outgrow Crossdressing or is it who we are?

[GinaM]

I ask this because we've all been thru phases in our lives where we're into certain things and then we get bored and move on. Is CDing like this or is it just who we are? I always wanted to dress even when I was a little kid but then wouldn't have the desire for years at a time and it would come back strong etc. Lately, it's been a bigger part of my life than it has before where I now have my own wardrobe, makeup, shoes etc.

I see a ton of people on this forum that are much older and I'm curious if CDing has been with them for the entire lives or if it is something that will just go away and possibly not come back? I do enjoy CDing and get pleasure from it but I also have stress with it and sometimes spend way too much money on it.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Maybe you will get tired of it. I'm in about a year and it's never been better than today.

And maybe you will see something good in it and also say, it's too much work. It is. Even if we opt out of makeup, forms, heels, etc, there still is the watching out for the neighbors and family. All the thinking to not get caught.

I asked what you and and probably will again. My list of must have cravings being storage area material goes into the thousands. It was like that with musical instruments. But I still have them and must play them too, sometime in my life.

The verdict? You'll grow tired of it and take up building model boats. Then model boats with a dress. Than doll houses with a tutu. Or you'll get a job on the line and not worry about anything but freezing. Cheers, rbbn.

[suzy1]

This subject has been covered a lot on this forum.
We are all different so you can’t say categorically that you will never outgrow it but the odds are that you never will.

My advice, just enjoy this side to your life, I love it!

[Heather Daniels]

Suzy makes a good point but, I really think this is a lifelong thing. After 40+ years of dressing, I am still drawn to it and unfortunately, probably always will be. Look around the forum. We have members in their 70's and 80's that are still doing it. To me, that says it's something that's here to stay.

[GinaM]

Suzy makes a good point but, I really think this is a lifelong thing. After 40+ years of dressing, I am still drawn to it and unfortunately, probably always will be. Look around the forum. We have members in their 70's and 80's that are still doing it. To me, that says it's something that's here to stay.

That's why I posted this I was looking at photos with gals in their 70s+ and am curious if this will be a life-long hobby. Crazy!

[suzy1]

That's why I posted this I was looking at photos with gals in their 70s+ and am curious if this will be a life-long hobby. Crazy!

Crazy can still be nice you know Gina.

Life is for having fun. [Have I said that before?]

[Jaylyn]

I have been enjoying dressing off and on as time and would allow since I was a very young boy in moms girdles and hose. I enjoy it more now at 63 than I ever had at 40. I had a family to support and that gets in the way of expressing who we are, or at least put on hold till time and finances permit. My wife has always knew I had this side even though she says married a rugged manly man. She says just the way I acted when she would dress for me and wear a deep red lipstick then she would kiss me on the lips. She says she noticed how I didn't want to wipe it off. Once after several years of marriage she fixed my face with makeup and she said she noticed a significant increase in the arousal and passion when we made love. She now knows 100% everything when I finally told her how I felt and she said just don't turn into a woman for real. I reassured her I was still the man she married but just enjoyed playing a tender woman from time to time. I have had this inclination my whole life in answer to your question.

[Heather Daniels]

Gina, it's not "just a hobby" to some. A lot of people here have feelings that run very deep concerning this. Otherwise, we wouldn't jeopardize our careers, family situations and mental health over it.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Gina, it's not "just a hobby" to some. A lot of people here have feelings that run very deep concerning this. Otherwise, we wouldn't jeopardize our careers, family situations and mental health over it.

Gina, to be more serious. This is how I feel too. And another thing, I read in this site that most CDs agree, they kept weight down when they were dressing. I do. Can't afford a good corset...but can dream about it. Follow your heart the best you can.

[Karren H]

I've out grown the clothes before.... but never out grown wearing the clothes....

[Barbara Ella]

I am new to this at 66. It is not going away, only the clothes will change as the years pile up, and the heels go down...lol. It may be different for you, but not to worry. As long as you enjoy it, you will keep doing it. If it gets to that point where you don't, then you won't. Yes there is stress, but as you get older, some of those stresses are removed, and it can get even more enjoyable.

Barbara

[Wildaboutheels]

I think it highly unproductive to put any faith at all here in what people look like [regardless of their age] because of the pics they post. This IS the Internet.

That's not to say everyone uses "misleading" pics.

Some will SURELY WHINE about people w/o pics. THAT'S what happens when folks do not PAY ATTENTION.

PAY ATTENTION was also one of the segments on NGC's BRAIN GAMES. It clearly [beyond any shadow of a doubt] showed that most CDers biggest enemy can be found in their own mirror.

People who get NOTHING OUT OF IT will probably give it up. Trying to look/present/pass as a woman IS a lot more work than as a man.

[Heather Daniels]

I think it highly unproductive to put any faith at all here in what people look like [regardless of their age] because of the pics they post. This IS the Internet.

That's not to say everyone uses "misleading" pics.

Some will SURELY WHINE about people w/o pics. THAT'S what happens when folks do not PAY ATTENTION.

PAY ATTENTION was also one of the segments on NGC's BRAIN GAMES. It clearly [beyond any shadow of a doubt] showed that most CDers biggest enemy can be found in their own mirror.

People who get NOTHING OUT OF IT will probably give it up. Trying to look/present/pass as a woman IS a lot more work than as a man.

You've gotten me curious about a couple things here.

#1 What do peoples pictures have to do with this?
#2 If one gets nothing out of it, why even do it in the first place?
Wildaboutheels... you say that people don't listen or pay attention...were you perhaps guilty of this in this thread?

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Re: Being the Woman You Want to Be: I thought I could pass if I tried hard enough. Not even close. I made a post shortly after Christmas telling about the adventure. It was disaster going to the theater but the Christmas musical was great.

What I remember most from trying that was how rote it was for me to get ready in the hotel when all the travel want haywire. I felt like a very tired woman going through the motions, just to say I did it. The topper was when I walked two blocks in frigid downtown Chicago weather with ice on the sidewalk wearing heels two sizes too large.

[Kati F]

I'll have to agree with what Suzy had to say.

Me personally... I have had the need to dress come and go throughout my life but the desire has never gone away...

[Princess Grandpa]

I have needed to dress my entire life. Only now have I allowed myself. I sure hope its not going anywhere.

[sarahcrossed]

I've found that it depends on the situation in your life. As for me, if i had roommates and couldn't dress or i don't have any thing to wear then i do not dress as much if at all. Like recently i haven't really dressed up much because i don't have a wig and I'm to the point where i enjoy it more if i can feel as beautiful as possible. So when i start working and can afford to purchase a new wig and maybe a new dress then i think ill dress up a little more. hopefully My so wont mind. Though she has said i could have some of her old dresses that don't fit any more. She is supportive i just don't want to overwhelm her.

[Stephanie47]

Gina, the answer to your question will be evident when you're in a pine box. If you ever figure out why you feel the need to put on women's clothing, maybe you will be able to stop cross dressing. I am not talking about transsexuals. I'm just talking about the need. Ever try to figure out when you feel the need? What are the forces being exerted on you? Or the absence of something in your life? When one feels the need to escape stress, why not use alcohol or drugs? Or buy a fishing boat? Or build plastic military models?

If you go back and read some of my comments, I've always indicated I am free to wear women's clothing five days a week for seven plus hours a day. Lately, even though as today, I have absolutely no desire to dress. Why not? I have no clue. Next week? Will it be the same? I don't know. I think right now my life is totally stress free.

If you're spending too much time and money on recreational cross dressing, then you need to broaden your horizons. You may need more balance in your life. Now, before someone jumps my @ss I have the same advice for my friends and relatives who spend entirely too much time playing handheld games on their gizmos.

[Trish]

I've been dressing about 45 years. I don't think I'll ever out grow it.

[Lynn Marie]

Do we ever outgrow Crossdressing or is it who we are?
I'll let you know when I give away my wardrobe and leave here.

[danielletorresani]

I find that I go through 1 to 2 year long phases of not caring to do it, but for the last 20 years, I've always come back to it.

[Daryl]

For me it increased after I retired. I dress everyday but am still able pass as a male. I'm still buying things when I can save some pennys to buy more clothes. I don't
think it will ever go away.

[mikiSJ]

I think it is possible for CDing to become insignificant in your life. It is necessary to understand that there is a wide spectrum of gender that each of us lives on and where we find ourselves on that spectrum will determine how important it is to CD.

When I was young, CDing was mostly fetishistic. Now, in my sixties, being the feminine Miki is more important than the clothes and when I am dressed, there is no sexual excitement - only the excitement of knowing the Miki is happy at that moment - and I will never outgrow that feeling.

[ShelbyDawn]

I have been dressing off and on since I was about 7.
What I have learned very recently is that this is part of who I am and more than anything else, it is growing WITH me.

Shelby

[ReineD]

It's not one answer fits all, Gina, because there are different motives for wanting to present in a gender that is different than birth sex. It is fetish for some people, and gender incongruence for others. And the nature of a compulsion or fetish can cause chemical reactions in the brain for some people that will change them permanently.

Some people for whom it is fetish will make the decision to stop, if the fetish causes negative consequences in their lives. These people don't tend to hang out here so it may seem, if you only take into account the membership here, as if the cross-sex expression is there for life. Certainly, if it is a matter of gender incongruence then it is there for life.

Another aspect is the degree of gender incongruence. Some people are born transsexual and they are solidly at the end of the gender spectrum that is opposite their birth sex. It isn't as clear for other individuals who may want to change part of their bodies but not their entire body. And it isn't always clear whether the wanting to alter bodies (such as developing breasts and nothing else), is motivated by sexual fetish, non-sexual fetish, or gender non-conformity.

I can tell you about my SO though. She told me a few years ago than when she was in her 20s, she always assumed that the desire to present as a woman would disappear in middle age (I assume once the ability to appear as an attractive young woman became an impossibility). But, in her 50s she realized that she would wish to engage in cross-sex expression until the rest of her life. My SO identifies as dual-gender which is a form of gender non-conformity: somewhere in the middle between fully male and fully female, even though even this gender idendity feels vastly different than just being male, in fact, when my SO is dressed she feels very feminine.

So you rather asked a question to which there is no simple answer.