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Thread: Do you want to know if you are a transvestic fetishists?

  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by mary something View Post
    I'm not saying that I think everyone who is a crossdresser has a gender disorder. Carl Jung referred to this as the animus and the anima, yin and yang is another example. .
    You are absolutely correct..But from what I have read... You can have T.F.D. and also have a G.I.D. so no body is excluded ..
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  2. #102
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    I agree that someone could probably have gender identity disorder and also be classified as tfd. This would be an example of the behaviors being similar but the reasons behind the behavior being very different than someone with tfd that doesn't experience gid.

    I don't think one is necessarily worse or better than the other, both are just labels, but it is helpful for personal understanding to know why we do what we do.
    "In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."

    "My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J

  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by mary something View Post
    I don't think one is necessarily worse or better than the other, both are just labels, but it is helpful for personal understanding to know why we do what we do.
    Mary I am right there with you as I feel it should be us having the best understanding and knowledge of what we do ..Or even of what we may not do as long as we are all joined under a umbrella.. It's best we do understand our own behaviors before the "Professionals " and they do their own damage labeling us .. Any person here on this site who may or may not have T.F.D. that has decided to get professional help for whatever reason ( their own or spouse or family members) could have a un-favored diagnose..

    People could be pushed/ pressured into treatments because of hope or false hope given to you a wife or a family member.. Every site I hit with T.F.D. claims some hope to cure or treatment..We know that cure is rarely the answer because of the spectrum in all Cross-Dressers vary so much and can co exist with multiple labels.. I am in my late forties and I have been doing this most all my life a cure for me would be a miracle ...
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  4. #104
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Very good thread Lucy, Honestly too many labels ,studies and diagnoses make me dizzy...deep down you know who you are.. the key here is live life to the fullest without hurting yourself or others

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy_Bella View Post
    I am in my late forties and I have been doing this most all my life a cure for me would be a miracle ...
    The only cure for crossdressing is to allow yourself to not feel bad about doing it because it doesn't hurt anyone. Women crossdress all the time, of course it has become socially acceptable over the last hundred years or so and people have forgotten that it was ever any other way. Women don't have as much testosterone, and their libido typically isn't nearly as strong nor as visually focused so their gender expression in clothes isn't as sexualized.

    Society reinforces this concept that men should be ashamed of having a feminine side but that is just a bunch of bs. Having a well developed feminine side is an addition to the masculinity that is already there in a man who crossdresses. It is a gender gift. A crossdresser who accepts themselves and their nature can potentially have the strength of the female AND the male.
    "In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."

    "My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    Very good thread Lucy, Honestly too many labels ,studies and diagnoses make me dizzy...
    Thank you so much.... Yes Labels are stupid only thing worse than being under a label is being under the wrong one! We're all human in the end..


    Quote Originally Posted by mary something View Post
    The only cure for crossdressing is to allow yourself to not feel bad about doing it because it doesn't hurt anyone..
    I really wished that was true and we did live in such a perfect society that doing what we do was indifferent ...But we don't and people we hurt do not understand that this is not done intentionally.. Many people we hurt personally grab their own wrong label and pin it to us to were most of the time it sticks.. Many feel betrayed and lied to there are so many reasons from the opposition as to why we hurt them..Trust me I've heard most of them..

    Ever wonder why some people acquire quilt after Cross-Dressing and were it may come from besides a society issue? .. A "T.F." can progress to the act of fantasizing in being a female ..That doesn't mean having a G.I.D. the quilt comes from the fantasizing, you have become your own sexual object.. Shame soon follows..
    Last edited by Lucy_Bella; 06-25-2013 at 12:02 AM.
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  7. #107
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mary something View Post
    There is a prevalent theory about fetishes that it is actually linked to obsessive complusive disorder. If someone has a shoe fetish for example and they are being intimate with another person then they won't be able to do so unless they can actually see the object of their obsession. Of course that is evidence that they are not bonding with their partner in a typical way.

    It is specifically the fact that it can get out of hand to the point that it can affect someone's work, friendships, and intimate relationships that it by definition has a detrimental effect on that persons bonding with others.
    If "has a ... fetish" to you means "has a fetish disorder" and if "being intimate" to you means "having sex" and if "not bonding ... in a typical way" to you means "not capable of sexual arousal in a typical way" then I can agree with your 2nd & 3rd sentences, mostly.

    As has been said several times in posts above, a person with a fetish (TF) can also be (or have a) TFD. But the link is not an automatic as your 1st paragraph implies. Just as a person can have a drink and not be an alcoholic, a person can have a TF (I like Doc's term "dressing fetish") but not have a disorder. Your 2nd paragraph suggests you understand this but your 1st, not so much.

    It might also be linked to OCD but, after a basic search, I cannot find this theory. I find a lot of people asking the question, but no one supporting it. Do you have a link? (sorry Lucy )

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy_Bella View Post
    It's best we do understand our own behaviors before the "Professionals " and they do their own damage labeling us .. Any person here on this site who may or may not have T.F.D. that has decided to get professional help for whatever reason ( their own or spouse or family members) could have a un-favored diagnose.
    Agree completely. Forwarned is forarmed.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 06-25-2013 at 04:47 PM. Reason: merged consecutive posts. try and merge posts with edit when you post so close together thanks

  8. #108
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    I haven't read all the posts, but I don't think this fits me. I dress primarily for escapism. Sex has little or nothing to do with it.

    I noticed in some of the posts that a Dr. Blanchard was mentioned. If this individual is the same Dr. Blanchard who worked at the Canadian Institute for Mental Health, his work is not well thought of. I don't consider him an authority of any repute for transgender issues. Once a researcher has had their theories debunked, they tend to lose all credibility.

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taylor186 View Post
    It might also be linked to OCD but, after a basic search, I cannot find this theory. I find a lot of people asking the question, but no one supporting it. Do you have a link? (sorry Lucy )
    just a quick search but here is an article written by a phd describing the link
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...an-pencil-tips
    "In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."

    "My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J

  10. #110
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    This might have been answered elsewhere in this post.

    The term "Transvestic Fetishism" comes from the American Physiological Association DSM-5 manual. This manual I think just got published and is used to help Psychologists link mental health issues with insurance providers.

    Here is a pretty good link how this changed from DSM-4.

    http://www.ifge.org/?q=DSM-5/302.3_T...stic_Fetishism

    Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, and no my cross dressing is not a problem.

  11. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy_Bella View Post
    Ever wonder why some people acquire quilt after Cross-Dressing and were it may come from besides a society issue? .. A "T.F." can progress to the act of fantasizing in being a female ..That doesn't mean having a G.I.D. the quilt comes from the fantasizing, you have become your own sexual object.. Shame soon follows..
    I mean no offense Lucy, nor am I trying to beat a dead horse, or stir up trouble.

    But, this is why I think that Dr. Blanchard, and his "Autogynephilia" theory are basically just as wrong headed as it is possible to be. The idea that there is a theory that makes one feel guilty for a condition that they didn't ask for, and didn't cause.

    My personal belief is that many of us on this forum suffer from a form of childhood illness / birth defect that affects us to varying degrees. That blame for this condition, for which we did not ask, is placed back on the individual who suffers from this malady is one of the cruelest things in the modern world. This, and modern medicine's overall abdication of it's responsibility to diagnose and treat us properly will, someday, be viewed as a SHAME on the practice of medicine in our age.

  12. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    My personal belief is that many of us on this forum suffer from a form of childhood illness / birth defect that affects us to varying degrees. That blame for this condition, for which we did not ask, is placed back on the individual who suffers from this malady is one of the cruelest things in the modern world. This, and modern medicine's overall abdication of it's responsibility to diagnose and treat us properly will, someday, be viewed as a SHAME on the practice of medicine in our age.
    Paula ,

    For sure and I am 100 percent behind you on that theory.. But keep in mind that theory is for " gender identity dysphoria" very similar with T.F.( both transvestites) and was recently taken out of the " APA " as a mental disorder when it was called " gender identity disorder"..That was the reason of this thread because T.F. is not gender driven it is sexually driven and there lays the difference between the two..

    No dead horse here..
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  13. #113
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mary something View Post
    just a quick search but here is an article written by a phd describing the link
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...an-pencil-tips
    OK, well she says "connection" but she goes on in the details to describe them as "similar." Two different meanings to me and I'm guessing confusing to many. I put more faith in the analysis of the last commenter who said:

    "It is a shame that you are misleading a large group of people. There are too many forms and levels of OCD to be able to create such a simplistic answer for a very complex disorder. OCD is not a coping disorder, it is biological. It is sad that many people will see you 3 second analogy as actual scientific thought on the subject."

  14. #114
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    I'm not trying to argue but isn't everything we do biological? OCD is of course rooted in biology, but it can also be considered a coping disorder (if it causes distress or impairment in that persons life)

    I'm not placing a value judgement on the why's of TF.

    connection and similar have different meanings of course, but I didn't feel that her usage of the words as she did was confusing to me. I will reread the article and the comments section to understand your point better.

    I'm not trying to discredit you in any way, but I feel I'm not understanding the point you're trying to make regarding this.
    "In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."

    "My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J

  15. #115
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Mary, maybe it's my science based education but I enjoy discussions like this where I might learn something to expand my knowledge on this crazy life journey. Someone raising an idea and others injecting their opinion or knowledge is totally natural to me. I follow several science writers and blogs where they call each other out all the time. I mean nothing personally, really.

    I guess my prime point in this thread is that we all (and I mean everyone) have fetishes and compulsions. It is only when they become a problem that they are a problem. Llana Simons fluff piece conflates three possibly similiar issues as being connected, and her sloppy terminology misses "is it a problem?" and it's complexity completely. I sense the last poster was calling her on those omissions.

    And no not everything we do is biologically driven. Our culture drives many of our behaviors.
    Last edited by Taylor186; 06-27-2013 at 11:52 AM.

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