Bad news, wife found my "stash" this week,
worse news, it was trash day, it ALL went out to the curb. I haven't a stitch left.
SOooo, I gotta lay low for a while. Hopefully I can get to this site quietly occassionally.
Bad news, wife found my "stash" this week,
worse news, it was trash day, it ALL went out to the curb. I haven't a stitch left.
SOooo, I gotta lay low for a while. Hopefully I can get to this site quietly occassionally.
Victoria
By the grace of God, I am what I am.
Oh No, That is not good at all. Bigger question, is your wife still talking to you???
I hope it all works out OK for you.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
That's a real bummer. Take it she doesn't like your dressing ?
History repeats itself one more time. Hopefully you and your wife can calmly talk about this. Wish you the best of luck.
Too bad you can't take her jeans, pants, sweats, and hoodies "to the curb".
I feel for you. This "hobby" is very much disfavored by anyone not competely comfortable with change, their own sexual situation, and their own self esteem.
Find a support group.
that sucks, how would she feel if you threw her clothes away, huh? Don't be bullied.
Personally, If my wife ever tried that.. She'd be the one out on her arse.
I pay the bills, I provide for the family.. What I do is what I do and my own business, as long as it doesn't hurt anybody, and my kids aren't exposed to it.
i am what I am, I do what I do..
i do not seek approval from others.
Bad Times!Sorry you had to endure an "unintentional purge."
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It is sad when this happens.
I wonder if this is the opportunity to have her come along and help you to buy some new clothes. Who knows, her involvement may make a bit of a difference.
Inside every good man, there is a good woman.
This is not a crossdressing problem, it is a control problem. It is mean and thoughtless. It is a lack of respect. Being upset is understandable but to throw out something that belongs to you is not.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
That's not fair; ask her if you threw out all her jeans, what would she think.
I know that is not the answer, but I wonder what she would have said anyway.
Good luck.
Rader
WTF?? What makes her think she can take your personal property and trash it? She is acting like a bully and what is worse you are encouraging her by letting her get away with it!
Therapy is in order but find a therapist who has experience with gender issues; don't get steered to some church quack. You two need a referee, just make sure it's an impartial one.
Hugs,
Donna
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)
So sad! Please do not give up your desire to "dress" as it is a part of your femme side and who you are, but definitely find a new more secure place to hide your "stash".
Sorry to hear that. To be upset and not agree is one thing but throwing away someone's possessions without there permission is another. That is just not right.
Sigh. Not so different from the early ears at my house. My wife recently pressured me to get rid of about half of my 35 dresses. Put them in a bag and took them to a donation center. But it give me a good excuse to go shopping.
I woulda' been upset, to say the least.. Thus, why she knew about Ashley's 'dressing' prior to marriage..
I'm thinking a 'sit down with your bride' is in order.. and future plans for a 'shopping trip'..
"If it feels good.. - Wear it"!
I think you would talk to your wife. When I dont know later maybe. Than the best explanation is that you are female fetish oriented - menas "I like women (not a man) and I like all what is in connection with women and that is a reason why I am dressing" (ok that is maybe not thruth but in my expirience 70% women will accept that). Next stage is negotiation about tights and stockings - if she accept that you will wear tight or stockings than is only question of time when she will accept all. That is my expirience with women - lot of women are not shure about his female side or feminity that is a reason why they put a line "this is for male dressing and this is for female dressing" so they are more shure that they are women enough. Dont go in conflict anyway. That is only my expirience with more than 20 women in my life which were clear that I am CD. And important tell her that you are not interested in sex with man only with women (that is important). Good luck.
I don't wont to hurt anybody. I just wont to enjoy a life.
But the good news............. is that you get to start shopping again !!
I'm seeing a lot of sympathetic responses, but what is the back story? Could be the same set up as the movie "Just Like A Woman" - wife knows nothing about husband's obsession, finds stash, assumes he's having an affair and chucks "the other woman's" gear. Full story, please! Hugs, Michelle
Just curious, was there any female breakdown? Did your wife ask all those questions about sexuality? Cry? I see you're my age (66). If you've been married for a long time hasn't your wife seen your positive attributes over the years. Somehow I see a female bully here. A control freak. I would think most unknowing women would have a meltdown before tossing the clothes.
With how little info you've given here, it would be easy to jump to conclusions, Vicky. Which seems to be the case reading the above posts. So, I'll add another.
She doesn't sound like an SO. More like your warden? Happy marriages don't have one party unilaterally acting as she did. So, I'll take another leap and assume yours is not?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Sorry you lost the clothing. Have you learned anything from it? Lesson 1- Don't sneak around behind your wife's back. Get it out in the open NOW. Be honest (since you weren't before). Find a common ground Lesson 2- Your wife is controlling and selfish. Throwing out what does not belong to her because she is mad? She needs to work on this issue. Rage is not pretty and it does not belong in a relationship. Again you need to discuss this. If you threw such a tantrum you would probably be at the curb or worse. This IS a form of domestic violence. Even though you were sneaking and hiding and lying she should not destroy what isn't hers.
This is two wrongs which make a bigger wrong. You have a lot of 'splainin' to do. I know you came here for support and this is the support I offer...Get OUT of the closet, Own what you are, talk to your wife BEFORE this type of thing happens.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
It is time for the painful truth as there can be no denial. There really isn't any other option unless you are going to start packing the rest of your clothes.
Good Luck to you both...
I've never read anything like that or heard this before. Do you have a source for this?Originally Posted by Lorileah
E²
Erica, destroying a partner's property by any means is bullying, a form of interpersonal violence. It has no place in a healthy relationship.
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