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Thread: Dining out questions

  1. #51
    Junior Member alesha_cd's Avatar
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    And yes I read your comment about how some people here are just guys in dresses as being rather snobbish.
    First of all, I NEVER said some people here are just guys in dresses. Go back and re-read it in context. I said some are perfectly fine with being perceived as guys in dresses. In other words, they don't care if others know that. I'm finished explaining that.

    maybe the words I am 98% passable?
    98% was my way of saying that I feel I blend in most of the time. It's not an exact percentage by no means.

    you want sunshine up your skirt?
    Just a little respect would be nice. I don't know what it is that I've done but you have blown it way out of proportion.

    The OP read that "if only I could have a female voice, the world would see me totally as a woman". Maybe I misread that?
    Yeah, I would say you most definitely did.

    Just because you walked the mall, strolled the sale racks, smelled the roses doesn't mean you passed.
    I would say there are different levels of passing. Explain to me what passing is to you.

    What people are saying here is that with as much experience as you have, why is a thing like talking to a waiter such a big hurdle?
    I thought I explained that already but I'll try again. I feel like I could blend in just fine in a dimly lit, busy, crowded restaurant just on looks and mannerisms alone. Would I pass 100%? Most likely not. Would I like to? Yes. My point is, it's the speaking part that I don't have experience with and what I would be most nervous about. In the years I've been going out, I haven't put myself in situations where I had to interact verbally with others. That's why speaking to a waiter would be a bit stressful for me. What is so difficult to understand about this? *sigh*

    The world has an agenda, unless you interfere with that agenda people are not going to bother you or call you out.
    It seems as if Lorileah has an agenda and Alesha interfered with that agenda.
    Alesha

  2. #52
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Alesha,

    This forum is just like any web forum, be it about cars, rock climbing, or whatever. People here are from several countries and all walks of life. They also come from different views and experiences. For example, on this forum, people range from just occasionally wearing panties to bed to actual transexuals who may have had SRS and every level in between.

    I find that when I post, some of the responses seem to help me and some don't. Sometimes people want to argue for some reason known only to themselves. All you can do is filter out the responses and hope that at least one was helpful to you. Just ignore the others. You won't change anyone's mind.

    Think of it as entertainment where you might learn something or might not.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  3. #53
    Junior Member alesha_cd's Avatar
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    Bless your heart Linda. It's just so frustrating because I had no intentions of coming across that way. I simply wanted to get feedback and/or suggestions from others on how they've done it or what they think are good approaches. It's unfortunate that some misread what I was saying. Seeing others' positive replies makes me realize everyone didn't read my comments the same way. Thank you.
    Alesha

  4. #54
    Banned Spammer
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    I think the main point here is to find a way to work on your voice to the point you are comfortable conversing with people.
    You tube can be your friend in this case its what I did anyway.I can go anywhere and have a conversation using my more female voice.
    Learning the inflection of words women use helps a lot too.What I learned is to practice speaking from the top portion of your larynx and not the bottom where your male voice is generated.
    Watch some videos and put some effort into it and you will be surprised what you can accomplish.

  5. #55
    Junior Member alesha_cd's Avatar
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    Thanks Tracii. I looked into it a few years ago but honestly I haven't given it much attention since then. I wasn't aware there were free tutorials on the Internet, but like I said, I haven't been looking into it. I'm thankful for all the tips. I have to admit I find some aspects of it (changing ones voice to sound female) a little confusing but maybe researching it some more will fix that. I think it's great that you can have a conversation in your female voice.
    Alesha

  6. #56
    Banned Spammer
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    I have posted a short video here in the past where i use it but not sure its still on this site.
    I learned to adjust from speaking from the lungs/chest to more from the throat.That is what brought my register up a few notches.
    I find it very easy to do and you still have the range of your natural voice just at a higher register, that way its natural and you won't sound like you are pushing higher it just goes there on its own with practice.
    I hope that helps you a little.

  7. #57
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Alesha,Perhaps you wouldn't have "gotten picked on" by Lorileah and myself if you had said. "I have gone out in public some over the last 30 years and feel like I blend in quite well,all things considered"....Is that a good suggestion to describe your experiences for next time? I think it is. So,all joking aside..Do you reply when a cashier at Macy's or Target or the grocery store asks you a question? You probably really look odd if you don't interact as called for. Kate Spade has worn many of us out with her "passing percentages" so your assessment of the immeasurable just got thrown in with hers. Seriously,after 30 years,isn't your wife a part of your outings and lending her femininity toward helping you blend better? Go have dinner with her at a nice restaurant and talk it over!
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  8. #58
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    I think you are over estimating your passing. 98%? No way. Here's an easy test: look where a women's neck appears to attach to their head:it's inside their jaw line. Now notice where our's attach: in line or even outside our jaw line. It's 100% noticeable. That should not stop you. Order in any form of voice you like. No one cares. Have fun

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