been away cooling off

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Welcome back, I will use the same philosophy I have in the outside world as far disagreements and arguments I have with people. I will not change who or what I am, or avoid the things things, places, and activities I enjoy because of those who don't like me or just outright hate my guts. If I don't accept any of that in the outside world, I sure am not going to accept here being that here is the place I do consider my safe zone and healing area.

As for asking for specific opinions on pictures it's fair game. If ask a question about a pic I postED such as "Do my arms and shoulders look petite small and feminine and do they help me to pass" I would have to be able to accept the answers given (in this case no, no, and no) no matter how much I would like to receive nothing but compliments and be told that they do help me to pass.

In short Jennifer, KEEP TELLING THE BRUTAL TRUTH!!

[ReineD]

I always tell the truth as I see it, although I try to keep in mind that my truth might differ from someone else's truth. This means that I don't behave (or I try to not behave) as if my truth is the only valid truth.

So I use a lot of "IMO"s and "".

I do say things at times that are unpopular but I hope that most readers recognize the objectivity in what I say rather than read personal agendas.

[carhill2mn]

I agree with some other members that a person should not let someone else's opinion determine whether or not to continue to participate on a forum. An opinion is, after all, just an opinion and everyone has them.

However, I respond to people asking me for an opinion on a photo that they have posted only if I feel that I can say something positive about it. My experience has been that most of the time that someone asks for an opinion they really do not want a crtique. If I know someone very well and know that they are truely asking for my opinion, I may give it to them.

"Constructive criticism" is rarely taken well by others.

[MssHyde]

Well, I got into a bit of a disagreement with a member here. The absurdity of her inane comment and ridiculous explanation caused me to rethink my value here. I took a few weeks and decided that I can not allow her to rule me or anyone on this forum. Thank you to those who reached out to me personally. So, I am back.

Let me add that I am back with a vengeanc

I have always been honest in my replies but now I'll be moving to brutal honesty. What does this mean? Well, if you dress like a ***** and post a picture asking how you look, I will tell you you look like a *****, for example. I'll never have been nor will be vindictive. But I won't let absurdity slide. I can see the fireworks....

I'm glad your back! I really love what you wrote your wife, when you came out to her.
hugs Cheyenne

[suchacutie]

Honesty is the goal for all of us here, I hope, but we should also be supportive. It is possible to be both.

[sheilagirl]

Honesty is Great but do No harm.

[happyallie]

I love reading your comments. There is a lot of logic in your words and they keep me grounded.

[kimdl93]

As I mentioned to a few moments ago, a few months ago I took a sabbatical at the 10000 post level, finishing with my 10000 post...asking what color are your panties. Anyone here who knew me could see the apparent irony and frustration.

But I got over it and came back as a semi regular again. My protest didn't change anything, but I did become more discriminating about what I read,and what topic I respond to.

I try to be honest to, but not brutal.

[Patty]

Welcome back Girl!! Lookin forward to more of your posts!

[Annette Todd]

I considered leaving and not coming back today. That has to do with what I view as suppression of ideas that don't conform to the acceptable norm of being sickeningly sweet and lovable. Which means, not voicing my opinion for fear of being censored. (case in point the interesting threads last night) But, I resolved that I am not going to be ruled by tyrants.

Glad you are here Jennifer. We non conformists have to stick together. I agree. Call the spades what they are with maybe just a sprinkling of tact so the bruises don't show.

Annette

ps On second thought I think I am thoroughly fed up with this B S

[steftoday]

Welcome back Jennifer. Glad you've returned.

[Chickhe]

Honesty is great as long as the person you are giving feedback to can do something about it and can handle the truth.

[ReineD]

... and can handle the truth.

I couldn't resist:

[Annette Todd]

Thanks ReineD I needed that. It has been a tough day.

Annette

[Jenni Yumiko]

Your not holding back and way of dealing with stupidity is the reason I started pming you in the first place! I personally prefer honest and blunt over sugar coating and think stupidity should be met with either a kick to the head or or a tongue lashing, so be yourself!

[Kate Simmons]

I always enjoy reading your postings Jennifer. It is what it is, you know?

[LeaP]

I guess my philosophy is "plain truth" as opposed to brutal truth. Facts maybe stated as such. That is, plainly laid out with no particular bias or emphasis. If that is received as brutal, that's on the hearer. Opinion is a different animal. If I'm asked for my opinion, I try to give it short and to the point. That – again, when asked for – is what it is, as a previous poster wrote. But if I indulge myself and turn it into an exposition or, heaven help me, a rant, that's judgmental and uncalled for.

The other caution I often give myself is to try to show more compassion than is sometimes extended to me. Sometimes the right thing to do is to hold back the truth until people are capable of taking it in.

What ever the incident was that prompted your leaving, I'm glad you're back. It sounds like it was an unpleasant exchange.

[Sandra]

I would have left this thread open but it seems that some members can't help but just have a dig at the staff here....well let me say this, you have any problems with any staff then you either pm them or one of the administrators.

Thread closed