Out of the closet.

[suzy1]

No, it’s not another story of someone going out dressed.

As there is a bit of talk about going out dressed at the moment I just thought I would mention that some of us do not stay in the closet because we are scared….we are not! Nor do we necessarily believe it when we read ‘there is nothing to worry about’ or ‘you will get nothing but smiles as you walk down the road’ or ‘When the time is right for you to come out of the shadows you will.’. Nor do we all think we are ‘letting the side down’ [Your side is not necessarily my side]

What can be a bit irritating is, after you explain this to another member they come back with something like “one day you will want to” or “you think you don’t but you do really” Grrrrrrr

I have no need personally to go out dressed. I am a happy bunny just as I am.

Thanks for listening, have fun and………..”I am not hiding!” [Said in a loud voice with hands cupped to mouth]

Hugs and have a nice day.


Suzy

[janet54]

Suzy. As long as you are happy girl that is all that matters.

[Barbara Ella]

Suzy, yes dear, only you know just what you want/need. But, are you sure, maybe we could talk this over a bit. You seem uncertain, and I am sure if you just tried it............giggles girl.

(Ducks the screwdriver thrown her way, at least it was an empty glass, Suzy would never waste a full one)

Hugs

Barbara

[Majella St Gerard]

Just be who you want to be. Going out dressed is not for everybody, it took me a long time, now I do it all the time and don't even think about it most of the time. Whatever works for you. As the genie said to Aladdin "Beeeee yourself"
Peace and Love.

[2B Natasha]

Well then. Perhaps the time will never be right for you.

It's true thought what you say. It is not all sunshine and unicorns when you go out. Anybody telling you that is blowing smoke up your backside. The vast majority of people will never say anything to you or loud enough that you can hear them but they will talk. SOme good some bad some indifferent

But I think you misunderstand where they are coming from. Most of the people that are out said the same thing. " I am happy. I don't want or need to go out. " And you know what. Some of them never went out and they are as happy as a clam in fresh salt water. Others felt compelled at some point and left. If even for one spin around the block.

And Suzy I can understand your frustration with those who say " One day " Seems myself included.

As a way of why I explaining here is a story.

One of the first times I went out dressed up. looking quite trashy I suspect now that I look back. The person that help me get out of the house told me a little funny. Or at least she thought it was funny. It's stuck in my craw since she told me. Do you know the difference between a crossdresser and and a transsexual? About 3 years. ( add rim shot here ) She didn't mean any harm and I talk to her today still. But the inference was that I was headed down that road and in time I would realize it. But in fact. I was not then and am not now headed down that road. I am happy being a CD or whatever you want to call me. So I understand your frustration with the you'll go out crowd. Still never say never. That goes for me too. One of the reasons I am where I am today is because I had pneumonia so bad they thought it could be cancer. Scared the H&^% out of me. Made me realize that going out regularly just couldn't stay on the back burner any longer. If I wanted to go out I was darn well going to go out when I wanted.

Two last things.

First. No harm no foul

Second. Is there another Hampshire other then the one in the UK?

[Beverley Sims]

Now there's a new twist......
Declaring you are not out.
I am home too.
Hello Suzy.

[suzy1]

Well then. Perhaps the time will never be right for you.


First. No harm no foul

Second. Is there another Hampshire other then the one in the UK?

No, there is no perhaps. Thats the point I was making. But that's O.K.

The trouble with Suzy is sometimes she just goes off with a bang!
And I let this get under my skin sometimes.

No hard feelings Natasha.

There is a Hampshire somewhere in the U.S. I believe but its probably named after the proper one where I live.

Al the best.

[Shananigans]

Preach it!

People on here always talk out their butts (sometimes, I'm one of them lol). But, a lot of people are sort of weirdly adamant about things like...you can NEVER stop...you WILL want to go outside...you MUST NEVER wear jeans...blah, blah...

This is a diverse group and people are all over the map with why they are doing what they are doing. And, Hell, most of y'all have no idea why you're doing what you're doing, so why would you listen to other people rule in absolutes about your life? Jus' sayin'...

Every day, I realize that few things in life are black or white. There seems to be a lot of bad literature out there concerning CDing in almost fatalistic terms. You know what I mean? It's almost like a death sentence sometimes...the CD is powerless to everything...this is HOW a CD must be. (It probably has something to do with association of CDing with submissiveness and inherent powerlessness of femininity or some bull crap<~~talking out my ass).

Why does every CD have to go out? I'm a GG...there are looks I have only at home. I'm okay with that. You are happy staying at home? Good for you...I can't even blame you. Most days, I don't see the point...movies are $10, I can drink at home and not have to deal with bar people, it's hot outside, and heels are way more comfortable on the couch.

I'd say it's ruling in absolutes to say you'll never do something, but I think it's fine to stay at home if you want to stay at home. So, if people start bullying you, I'd just say, "Yep, maybe...but, not today!"

[Lorileah]

Suzy, seems like you have traveled this road before.

[suzy1]

Suzy, seems like you have traveled this road before.

Yep, I read about us all having to go out all the time and bang! Off I go again.

I must stop it.

[stephNE]

Yes, the world is made up of individuals. I am surprised that all the girls on this site do have so much in common, but not everything. What is right for one, may not be right for anyone else.

[Deedee Skyblue]

You know, Suzy Q, no matter how often it gets said, those people who expect us all to be evangelists and stand up for our rights and march for the cause will continue to expect us to do so. And those who think the rest of us are not brave enough to go out and that if we only would, nothing bad would happen and we will be happy and stress free forever are going to continue to preach to us. Those folks who have our entire life mapped out because we are crossdressers will continue to tell us what MUST happen next.

I just stopped reading that stuff. I am content dressing part time, in private, not attempting to pass, and not being an evangelist. And I know there are other people like me here.

Deedee

[suzy1]

I just stopped reading that stuff. I am content dressing part time, in private, not attempting to pass, and not being an evangelist. And I know there are other people like me here.

Deedee

Well that make too of us then.

[kimdl93]

I have no investment in what anyone else decides to do or not do with regard to their dressing.

[shawnsheila]

Agreed,
Just do what makes you happy Suzy like what she likes

[Miriam-J]

Point well made, Suzy, and I'm sure it applies to a good many of us. If one finds sufficient satisfaction from staying in, then one should certainly do so.

I think the many threads that discuss going out come from a few valid perspectives, including:
- Celebrating one's own elation at escaping the bounds of home (for those who weren't satisfied inside)
- Promoting going out as an challenge to what is felt to be suppression of our civil rights, acting on behalf of the community
- Bragging about one's own accomplishments compared to those 'lesser folks' who choose otherwise

Thanks for bringing this up.

Miriam

[Kandy Barr]

Well now, I'm certainly glad that's settled!!! Love you Suzy...

Would my signature apply here?

[Chari]

We are all individuals with confidence and comfort at different points on the "gender" scale. Enjoy every day, for it will never come this way again.

[Wildaboutheels]

WHATTTTT? Yer kidding , right? You simply must PROGRESS. It's the only proper way to be a "good" CDer. You are not allowed to have free will and a mind of your own and know what you like and don't like. It WILL take over your life at some point and you WILL become helpless to stop it. It's as inevitable as the tides.

Next, you will be telling us that there IS NO CDers rule for skirt or dress length/age and you will wear whatever length floats your boat. You are going to really confuse all the newbies and get them thinking that THEY are in charge of their own destiny.

[Ressie]

Dressing in public has never been my goal either. I never considered it at all until seeing everyone on this site (and others) talk about it so much. But who knows what the future holds? Never say never, just say "It's not for me".

[docrobbysherry]

There is absolutely NO good reason for a closet dresser to go out dressed!

Unless it's to meet other girls for a nite out clubbing and dancing in heels!

[Michelle (Oz)]

I might be guilty of the 'go forth and have fun girl' message sometimes. It is fun to share experiences and I enjoy reading others experiences such as TxKimberley's travel blogs.

My underlying message is never to say "you must go out" but to encourage those who might want to. No one can or should force anyone to do something that they don't want to do.

[MysticLady]

I have no need personally to go out dressed.
Suzy

One Day you will really really really want too. Trust me

[Jilmac]

Suzy, I was married twice, both spouses knew at the outset (before either marriage took place) of my dressing, and throughout each marriage neither one approved. I remained in the closet until the passing of my second wife, at which time I exited to a new found freedom and happiness. In reading what you said about yourself, I believe your freedom and happiness remains in the closet with you which gives you no reason to exit. I say good for you girl, enjoy your own freedom and happiness and don't let anybody speak badly of you.

[Maureen]

I am the opposite. I started out thinking dressing in private was all I would need. Then it was subtle make up and shopping. Then driving at night completely dressed. Then a total makeover and acrylic nails and a walk through the Cosmo in Vegas. Now the "what's the difference between a cd and a ts?" doesn't seem so funny. It seems a distinct possibility except for my inability to ruin my wife's life.