How to introduce yourself to other cross dressers?

[Emogene]

I was out for breakfast this morning and saw a girl who was pretty clearly a CD. All dressed up, no wig, heavy eye brow ridge, advanced male pattern baldness, et al.

So is there a protocol or some customary way that you do a "cold" self introduction to another CD in a public setting?

Does one simply walk up, thrust out a hand and confidently say "Hi, I'm Emogene"?

I was not all pretty but thought that a genetic male with the name Emogene might convey my status fairly clearly without saying outright that I thought the other person was a CD. No harm, no foul!

Thanks ladies for your thoughts on the matter!

[Leona]

Having not been in that situation yet, I would like to think I'd walk up and say "Hi, my name is Dave, what's yours?" and then as soon as possible I'd try to put my lips near the ear where I can say "I also go by Leona in some places".

If I don't think that's possible, I'll just treat them like a woman, and that situation has come up a few times.

[Kalista Jameson]

Hi,

I personally would not do anything other than act normally.

Cheers,

Kalista

[Catherine Hopkins]

Sorry Emogene.

Whilst you may very well have recognised a girl SOMEWHERE on the gender spectrum, you have no way of knowing where.

She should very easily be transsexual and deeply offended by your inferences and completely disheartened by being read.

My advice would be to ignore her. Friends are best made by arrangement, not by chance meeting which is just as likely to hurt as to endear.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For years iv said unless they are your friend or friends , its a good way to out another person who may be struggleing with them selfs & trying the best they can to dress, iv met & seen many & no i would not make a point of going up & makeing myself known to them.

Try this well no dont. im very well known far & wide, two different countys. & know just too many people & more know who i am.

Now when or if its possible you can meet me your first reaction would be im a dresser. maybe a pretty poor one at that very masculine facial features, though if you look harder & pick up my manrisims youll find im a female sure not a good looking one still female / woman.

Now you see whats changed what you may think is a dresser. may not be , i know a few very much like myself very male looking yet we are female, for some thier voice is way low, mines quite good.

I have had to step inbetween a man & a woman who is trans, to stop abuse from the male till I had jos take her home & get the Police to take him away. now not once would i say any thing to that woman , i treated as such , now for all i know she could have been a dresser. i really did not care my job was to keep her safe at all cost. he thought i was a wimp. he'd walk over me , he backed off when i steped in & moved him away,

All im saying is it may sound nice to say hi what ever . just use common sence, & even if i do see a dresser in passing i may just say hi as i normaly do wherever i am. remember im just a woman , Id more than likely get away with it better than a male saying hi,

...noeleena...

[Cheryl123]

I would be against invading someone's space uninvited, no matter how well intentioned.

[DebbieL]

How would you introduce yourself to an attractive woman? With a complement on her jewelry? her wardrobe? her hair? or her make-up? Then to drive it home, something like; "I WISH I could look that good". This is the same kind of compliment a woman would give another woman.

Often, when I have my hair brushed out, earrings in, and a very close shave, I will see others who also have both earrings, plucked brows, and the other marks of a TG/CD. Often, there is a polite nod and smile, AND the tilted head of the courtsey. There are many subtle non-verbal signals that are tells that are you are TS/TG or CD, even when you are in DRAB (DRessed As Boy).

[Sabrina133]

I agree Debbie. I am a huge proponent of "personal space." I think a subtle acknowledgement without anything verbal is the best approach - especially in a non CD environment.

[Celeste]

I would think a direct approach with a simple "hi" would open the lines of communication without implying anything..I wouldn't speak of anything gender oriented right away but maybe compliment her briefly.If I perceive a favorable response from her ,I would then maybe elaborate on my own situation and dressing.It would depend on wheather I got the cold shoulder or not.

We have to remember,some girls do not want to be made...by anyone.So I guess the key would be not to pry but allow them to talk first.

[Kaz]

Good advice so far.. when I have been out I would have died by someone reading and telling me.. even if they were a 'sister'.... Complements always work well, and so does recognising the need for personal space. OK I would love it if you came up to me and we hit it off... but this is a very sensitive area.

My advice... smile, catch her eye... walk away... watch... and do something magic to make her day... sometimes all we want is for a smile?

Kaz xx

[Beverley Sims]

Make eye contact and play it from there.
Having said that, I think it is as about as far as I would go without a positive reaction from the other person.
Generally we are all on edge when out and do not wish to out ourselves to a stranger.

[Kate Simmons]

The best way I see to do it in person is if we are at a CD function, a club that welcomes CDers, or at a TG Org. meeting. That way, it's more or less a "given" who everyone is in a non threatening situation.

[~Joanne~]

No wonder we never meet any sisters while out and about, let alone make any friends. I never understood this mentality myself. I understand the not wanting to be "made" while out but if that is the case, why not stay home? I am sure there are MANY sister's out there that are not part of this forum looking to make friends with similar interests but they'll always be thinking they are alone because of the "no approach" attitude.

I can see both the up side and the down side to approaching a sister but is this forum the only interaction we should have? I am sure there are plenty of civilized ways to approach a sister who is out without screaming "look everyone, a CD!" How about we try a few of these instead of the standard "by the book" answer which have plagued this question every time it comes up.

[Angela Campbell]

Sorry Emogene.

Whilst you may very well have recognised a girl SOMEWHERE on the gender spectrum, you have no way of knowing where.

She should very easily be transsexual and deeply offended by your inferences and completely disheartened by being read.

My advice would be to ignore her. Friends are best made by arrangement, not by chance meeting which is just as likely to hurt as to endear.

Although I agree with what you said, if she is completely disheartened by being read she is not being realistic. From the description she is clearly not convincing. It still would be rude to do something to point it out.

[Jenniferathome]

How would you introduce yourself to the average person? Yes, cross dressers are people.

[mikiSJ]

Offer a quick look and a smile and then get on with YOUR life. If the other person has an interest, they will let you know.

[Chari]

"What would YOU do?" if the moment was turned around and someone approached you in public, how and what would you accept as an opening line. Some of us can handle any situation, while others are just hoping to get through the moment without problems.

[STACY B]

Depends on how they act or looked ? Maybe say ,,, DAMMMMMMMM You better get some sunglasses on girl ,,lol,, DAMMMMM You friggen look great ,, Who did your makeup ? Hell I would have never pegged ya if not for that Adams Apple ,, You think that dress is short enough ? They didn't have any 7 inch heels ,, Little HOT for Pantyhose ,, On an On ,,,,, Depends on the person an how they act an look .

[arbon]

Does one simply walk up, thrust out a hand and confidently say "Hi, I'm Emogene"?

I had a guy do that to me, twice, same guy, different towns.

One time I was in gooding Id with a group for grilfriends, including my wife. Saw him approaching us, starting at me, introduced himself asked my name and he started talking, but only to me. He was completely oblivious to everyone else I was with. All his focus was on me. After a few minutes my friends intervened said were going now and ushered me back to the car. Then I had to explain to my wife I really don't know that guy I swear I don't know what his deal was!

The second time I saw the same guy in ketchum id, and the same thing happened again where he totally focused in on me with way way to much enthusiasm I figured he was really horny for a trans girl, and I must of been the trans girl of his dreams, or he was a closeted crossdresser or ts that was just overly excited to see a trans woman in idaho - cause there's not a lot of us.
I don't know. Either way it really creepped me out.

I think you have to be careful with how you approach a crossdresser or trans woman. I think transsexual women would be less likely to appreciate being approached then a crossdresser would. I don't think it would be so much about knowing you have been read, but - like for me if some guy came up and introduced himself and said he was a crossdresser I'd be sitting there thinking oh great now he is going to show me a picture of himself all dressed up and want to go hang out at the mall or go look at shoes with me. I did that once with a crossdresser that was in drab, it was so funny he we got to the stores and he was to afraid to actually look at anything! I decided never again!

[docrobbysherry]

I don't have this issue as I don't go out among civilians dressed! For me, that's pointless.
When I'm out in vanilla land in drab I'm going about my business just as everyone else is. I don't feel the need to chat with folks unless there's a reason for it. And, most others seem to feel that way, too. Including any possible Tgirls I may see.

Now, clubbing is an entirely different situation. Dressed there, I feel comfortable going up to ANY dresser or anyone else and starting a conversation. Isn't that why we r all there, after all!?

[alwayshave]

I have to believe that this is in the same realm as telling a women whom you believe to be pregnant, congratulations, only to find out she is not expecting. Meaning let her tell you/approach you and that way no one is offended.

[Lynn Marie]

I probably wouldn't introduce myself to a mixdresser, but to a well dressed CD in an appropriate setting, I'd just say "Hi, I'm Lynn, you look terrific". Whether she's a good looking CD or a slightly homely GG, she'll be pleased with the compliment. I always am.

[Rogina B]

Generally we are all on edge when out and do not wish to out ourselves to a stranger.

Glad you aren't speaking for me! Pass? Come on,get real! How about noticing something nice they have on and commenting that you like it and asking where they bought it as you would also like one...? That works best!

[Leona]

Why not a mixdresser? Out of curiosity...

[Rogina B]

You mean "half baked"...lol!