I have had a long week and was sooo ready to get home, shave, and get into my "real clothes". Part of me was a bit frustrated at having to live such a double life.
Does anyone else feel frustrated at having a sort of "double life", and still not feel compelled to come out or be full-time?
Hug
I hope you feel better about things. It's hard when your always in hiding and denying who you are.
Hug
Rita
A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
~Marlo Thomas~
I have to imagine that you are far from alone on this one. I know of many CDr's that are still very much in the closet. We live a double life because we feel that we must! I went about four months this year without dressing up. There are many different things that can prevent us from feeling free to dress. For me summer is one of those things. I don't feel right getting dressed up while wearing my fur coat (I'm very furry. My dog is jealous of my fur coat!) I know that if I shave it all off without being able to wear long sleeves and pants, everyone will notice. So, I don't dress in the summer. Its the double life that I feel I have to live. There are many of us out here. You aren't alone.
I do feel a relief when I do get a chance to dress. I look forward to it a LOT!
"Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland
Thanks for your reply, Amy, it was very helpful and inspiring.
Last edited by Taylor Ray; 07-27-2013 at 07:32 PM.
I don't live a double life. I'm a guy and I live my life as a man. When I dress and present as a woman, my "life" doesn't alter. I have no desire to be "full-time."
I wish I could wear a skirt and heels to work - but I don't think they are my 'real clothes' - it would be another option to go along with the more boring choice of men's clothes.
Deedee
It's not wrong... but it is forbidden!
I don't have a major problem separating my 2 parts of life. I'm a bit like Jennifer there, genetic male and happy with that, but loving my girl side.
That said, it would be nice to kick off the boy kit and go full girl at work and in life, as I pleased, when the mood takes me. However, life ain't (propa London) like that for me. I have occasions where I feel like I will burst if I don't dress so I can sympathise with your frustration, as I won't be comimg out full time. It's just not me.
I would like a bit more girl time but home life dictates that I have a good amount of man time too. That said, Rebecca is clothes shopping this afternoon with the head of the house.
Rebecca
It sure can be frustrating at time dealing with the double life that we lead.
But then when you do get time, it just makes it all that more special.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
I'm not out either, and don't even want to wear girl clothes all the time, but don't let life get me so busy I can't find time to dress, I share you frustration sister!
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Part of me would like to dress full time (probably the female part) but what I would lose and the heartbreak to family and friends it just is not worth it. Also being both boy and girl has its advantages. However sexually equal we are there are still some things that it is easier to do in boy mode, odd jobs, taking rubbish to the dump, things that are very male orientated. It is certainly easier being in boy mode rather than boy dressed as girl mode.
Maria
The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies
Hi Taylor, I am totally happy with both of my alter egos.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
yu can see by my picture (if it is there) my answer...im older, retired and i stay inside with my skirts panties etc. most of the day, I"m also a bit bashful...wife (sep) gets most of my clothing and has good taste, but when she scares me with loud voice in sal army, i run away. am in altgb group and i have told isome i am cd...of course, some mean all, but thats as far as it goes-altho i am tempted to paint nails for next meeting. thats about it from me...hope its some help to u--but writing this is help for me too
That pretty well sums it up for me as well. Right now I'm out of town visiting the in-laws and other than wearing panties, it's fully male mode. While I would like to be home in a bra and forms, it's no big deal and no particular stress.Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I'm planning a two week trip later this month and again, I'll be in panties, but otherwise male mode.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
I suffer through the work day acting and wearing drab. When I get home and shower, I wear casual feminine clothing, unless I'm going out.
I'm hoping to be full time within a year or so.
Leah
Be nice; It don't cost nothing.
Yes, it's the double life for me too. Drove me crazy for years, for most of my life, really. But I've finally settled down and have managed to find a way for my two worlds to coexist side-by-side. Sadly my career isn't such that I could ever come out. But on the up side, I no longer have any problem with my, well… quieter self. I now have incorporated being en femme fully within my life… Thank God! Without it, my life would be such a pale existence.
When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!
I treated myself today and went shopping. I had a wig fitting, which was wonderful except for seeing myself in guy mode in the mirror. I then bought a new dress at Lane Bryant. Part of me was happy to be able to purchase some new items, but I seemed to want to avoid viewing myself in any mirrors in my drab clothes. Once I finished all my errands, I got "comfortable" in my new dress and wig. I felt more relaxed and normal than I did during the day.
I do have questions about this "double life" and feeling disoriented during the day.
Double life used to bug me years ago.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Taylor, seems we have different amounts of freedom to express our feminine sides. Rather than being envious of the girls who can dress at will, I treasure the limited time Robin does get. Its crowded in the closet, but seems quite a number of us are in there. However, as Raychel stated, we may actually enjoy our dressed moments even more. Savor the opportunities.
Hugs, Robin
Robin has a very great point that I have heard before. As cross dressers we get WAY more excited about getting dressed up than most GG women do. Its exhilarating for us. I know it truly is for me at least. I get excited about dressing up, and buying clothes. The whole 100 yards is an adventure that I LOVE.
If I were to dress as a women all the time, I don't think it would be as exciting. I think I would really miss that. So I cherish my double life, and enjoy every aspect of it!
Here's to the double life girls!
"Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland
I am just finishing up a two week trip to Italy with my softball team, which is a gang of uniformly alpha male types. I, as their pitcher, am definitely NOT out to them, so the only thing I brought to wear was a single nightgown. Big mistake. I can't wait to get back to my wife and hold her, then put on my prettiest dress and dance with her. It's been way too long.
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