My Latest Epiphany (system won't allow correction of typo in title)
My views on crossdressing have undergone some interesting changes over the years as I continued to read and absorb whatever information I could find. These changes haven't been overly drastic, but have been more along the lines of refining my thoughts and opinions. A prime example of this has been my views about the use of the term transgender. Without getting into the monotonous arguments that have pervaded the forum, initially, I paid little attention to the term as it became popular, accepting it as a sort of synonym for crossdressing that sounded to many a little less about the clothing aspect and more about their feelings.
As the term gained acceptance as an "umbrella" term for the entire community, I began to give it more thought, looking into its actual meaning and origins. This led me to the conclusions which I have often stated on the forum receiving a very mixed reaction. However, all that is beside the point of this thread. A recent thread by Frederique entitled "All or Nothing" received some replies that recalled a few things I had read in recent months. One of these was a comment by Tamara about the difference in meaning between transgender and transgendered. In some respects, this conflict makes our differences between CD or TG pale in comparison. A good discussion about this was on the following blog and the various comments that followed. (Much of it appears to be from the TS side of things):
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joanne..._b_492922.html
This brings me to my latest epiphany. All the debate over CD/TG boils down to a few simple facts.
a) CD's consider their activities to have nothing to do with feelings about their gender being in conflict, confused or at odds with their sex.
b) TG's consider their activities to be a reflection of the duality of their gender.
The key questions raised by this are 1) If crossdressing is not about gender, then what is it about? and 2) Why is each side so adamant in arguing that their position is correct, even to the extent of implying that it applies to everyone?
The answers rest on one simple three letter word...sex. Crossdressing is about sex and not gender. I am referring to the primary meaning of that word and not to its current usage as a synonym for intercourse or copulation, which has led to the miss use of the word gender as being synonymous to the real meaning of sex. When men crossdress, they wear clothing intended for the opposite sex, not the opposite gender. While some crossdressers insist they do not use breast forms, most do. This is an emulation of the female sex, not the feminine gender. I know there are the usual arguments about the clothes fitting better, passing ability and so on, but it is still an accoutrement of the female sex. Does this mean they want to be women? Not necessarily and not usually. It simply reflects the fact that most are heterosexual, are attracted to and intrigued by the female form and glory in representations of that even if it involves making themselves the pseudo object of that admiration. Does this mean their crossdressing is a fetish and used for sexual gratification. Again sometimes but not necessarily, especially with maturity.
Does gender not enter into the equation then? Certainly it does, but as gender is an abstract term it is impossible to measure its extent. One argument made in the article that I referenced is that if we have a gender, then how can we be transgender. We either are what we claim or we are not. If by gender we are referring to our inner sense of masculinity versus femininity, then this would certainly have an impact on the extent of our dressing. But this is more about how our personality fits into societal norms. Every man possesses qualities that others could consider to be feminine in nature, regardless of whether he is a crossdresser.
So why the debate between CD and TG? There is an element of stigma attached to being associated with actions that are deemed sexual in nature, but are outside of socially accepted norms of behaviour. That stigma attaches to crossdressing in the minds of many, and so some distance themselves from those implications by attaching themselves to the theories of gender inherent in TG. By the same token, there is also a stigma in some circles to such things as having gender conflicts, which when strong enough amount to a sex conflict rather than a gender conflict. We refer to transsexual, sex change and sex reassignment surgery, not a gender change. Those who do not sense any confusion about their gender, tend to distance themselves from any implication that they do, by insisting on their CD status, and describing their crossdressing benefits rather than its causes.
Whatever the answers, crossdressing is fun, relaxing and a tremendous adventure and experience. It relieves stress and has other beneficial health benefits. As I grow well into my so called Golden Years, I just wish our community could concentrate more on conveying a message of normalcy to our habits rather than emphasizing how different we are from the mainstream. By promoting our gender uniqueness, or that we are gender gifted we tend to set ourselves apart
Veronica