Thoughts on...............

[Dana3]

I'm interested in other's thought patterns, moods, mental, emotional, pyschological well being etc if you don't premit yourself an outlet to your feminine side? What do you think about, obess about, triggers your want and needs? In and with a purge? What are the negative and positive consequences of such?

Ho does it affect your work, your career, your relationship with others? Your marrigae to a GG? The impact of being a crossdresser on and in with your professional, mental, emotional, pyschological life?

In short what goes on in your head if you don't crossdres?

[Stephanie47]

As a retiree with a working wife, who is currently off for the summer (ugh!), I get ample time NOW to express myself. When the kids were still home and I did not get time for self expression, I turned into a shop-a-holic on eBay. I spent entirely too much time perusing the pretty slips. I ended up buying too many (over 400 now) slips. If I was able to express myself when I needed to, then I probably would have only acquired 20-30 slips. I'm still buying slips, but, the slip has to be extra sensuous.

[Andinera]

I just so happen to have gotten back from a 6 month deployment where my CDing was minimal. Yes, even though I was surrounded by my coworking who dont know I CD, I still wore boyshorts and colorful socks. Although when I was deprived of my girlish life style, it dodn't have a huge effect on me. My overall happiness was very drained by the end of the deployment but who knows if it was the lack of feminism or being with the same people nonstop, or the combination of both. In the end, I thought about dressing up every day but when it came down to it, it displayed minimal effect on my mood and work performance.

[Kathi Lake]

What goes on in my head? Hmmm, let's see:

• Did I mail those eBay packages?
• My gosh, my daughter looked so cute - and yet so grown up - yesterday!
• Ugh! I want to *throttle* the smug *&%!@ who wants a business license for one of my Chinese factories in English! Seriously BIS?
• Oh, come on, Apple! You were doing so well over the last month! Down 5 bucks already today?!
• Smack, smack. Yogurt breath. Time for a sip of Coke.
• Seriously?! Can we not "reply to all" to tell everyone not to reply to all?!
• Wow. I have got to call Gale and have him turn the bloody temp up! It's freezing in here again!
• Sheesh. Another e-mail about Conflict Minerals . . . Dodd-Frank and SEC, can I tell you how much I loathe you? . . .
• Oh wow, cute shoes! Yay! Boot season is coming!
• Hmmm, I feel "burger-y" for lunch today. Wendy's? Hmmmm . . .
• Oh yeah - gotta cancel Allstate before the 15th. :hits iPhone home button: "Remind me when I get home to cancel car insurance"
• OK, UPS.com . . . track . . . Wednesday?! But I want my drill NOW!
• That reminds me, I have to get another punchdown tool (browses Jensen Tools catalog . . .).
• Hmmm, I wonder if I can find a used network analyzer on eBay?
• Better call the chickie and see if she did her morning run.
• Wow, three more weeks until my middle one leaves for college. Man, our food budget will be cut in half!
• Gotta remember to stop by the nursery for some more Scotch moss (since I killed the last ones I planted. Sigh . . .).
• Tonight I have to dedicate my time and finish the choir camp video editing and get those DVDs burned this weekend . . .
• Unless we need to meet and go over the church addition construction numbers. Man, it'll be hard to find 100K to cut . . .
• Need to research the Alaska quilting cruise. That'll be so much fun!
• Better call my wife and see how her day is going. She's probably deep in data analysis.
• Sigh, I love my little girl geek!
• All right, Qin Zhou, let me see if I can fix your problem . . .
• Cool! This company will sell me electronic scrap for 8 cents a pound! Beats the 50 cents a pound Wisconsin wanted to charge me!
• Dang! My teeth are seriously chattering. Oh - and that yogurt is wearing off. Already . . .
• Yes, my dizzy little admin - the invoice is approved to pay. That's why I marked it "Approved to pay" and signed my name.
• I wonder if this post is too long . . .

And that's only about five minutes worth of thoughts.

Dana, what goes through my head (both bizarre and pedestrian) is normal stuff. Why? Because I am normal! You see, crossdressing does not define me, it is simply a part of me. How does it affect my work or career? It doesn't. How does it affect my relationships? Well, for those outside my immediate family, it doesn't. My oldest knows, and still manages to love his dad - even though he may never be able to erase the image of pictures of his dad in a dress from his mind. My youngest knows, and knows me to be her dad. Her normal (yet goofy) dad - who also has good taste in clothes, and a closet full of cute stuff of his own. My wife? Yeah. That is where the main issue lies. This affects her in so many ways. I have had over 40 years or so to come to terms with this - to understand who I am, and my place in a world that (incorrectly) views what we do as perverted and wrong. She loves me, and is trying, and for that deserves my unfailing gratitude.

If you're asking if I'm filled with angst and depression because I cannot dress, I would say no. I am coming up on two years without dressing and going out. Sure, I've played with makeup once or twice, and I even dressed up all the way once - in my basement at night - not because I had to, or was driven to, but because I wanted to. Why have I not dressed up in so long? Well, in a way because I wanted to prove to my wife, and even myself, that my dressing was not a compulsion or even a need. It is what is always was - a fun way to express what is a part of me. Crossdressing is a part of me. I see it like this:

It isn't all that I am, but I wouldn't be all that I am without it.

Does that make sense?

Kathi

[kimdl93]

too much to respond to, so I'll take one item. When I repressed myself and denied myself, I felt a low, simmering anger that really got in the way. I was always afraid I might lose control in a situation where calm and self control were needed - whether it was a personal or professional situation.

Part of the anger was seated in self loathing. Part derived from repressing a very important part of myself. I suspect that the anger, not the cross dressing was the major factor leading to the dissolution of my first marriage. By coming out and living more openly as a transgendered person, I am more at ease, the anger is gone and I'm confident in my ability to handle stresses in both professional and personal areas.

[MysticLady]

Oh my Dana,

Too many questions regarding something that has a million answers for each. Slow down Sweetie. Let me try too answer all your questions w/ one small phrase....You ready?

[Beverley Sims]

My attention span is only two inches....
Too many questions to answer. Good for Kathy lake who has had a go.
If I have a hiatus from cross dressing which is rare these days, I get all these wonderful ideas of alternatives I could be at.
Then I dress and poof, all the ideas disappear till next time.

[Kate Simmons]

My short answer is that if I don't CD, i keep busy with a lot of stuff going around in my head but it's mostly for others and not much for myself. The creativity of CDing opens up a whole other level of energy.

[Kathi Lake]

My short answer is that if I don't CD, i keep busy with a lot of stuff going around in my head but it's mostly for others and not much for myself. The creativity of CDing opens up a whole other level of energy.

Hmmmmm, interesting thought. While it's true that crossdressing is one of the things I do for myself, I wouldn't say it's the only thing. But as no one shares it with me, maybe you're right. Hmmmmm . . . . .

Kathi

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dana, I control crossdressing it doesn't control me.

[Kathi Lake]

Dana,

I totally forgot my training (that's what happens when you get out of your field and let your license lapse);

What do you think?



Kathi

[GeorgeA]

Hi Stephanie,
I thought I was obsessed by slips and buying new ones all the time. But your obsession beats mine tenfold or even more. I think a slip is such a beautiful garment it's so bad it has gone out of use in recent decades. I think that only CDs buy them now and keep the industry going.

[Lynn Marie]

Those of us who can only dress on rare occasions have a terrible tendency to obsess over it. Obsession seems to foster depression and anxiety in just about everyone. Then there are many of us who can dress as we like and come and go as we like and find that the obsession becomes just another hobby that we do for fun and relaxation. No need to rush or get anxious. Life becomes balanced again. Then again, there are those who are free to dress and pretty much dress as much as possible and also seem to obsess over it. Who are those people? Compusive obsessors?

[Vanessa5]

There is not enough space here for me. Too many questions without any answer. Without an outlet I become cantankerous and impossible to live with.