It IS hypocrisy if the CD demanded to be accepted and then did not accept the spouse... That would be the definition of hypocrisy. As Reine stated a better test would be "if you weren't a CD and your wife did this how would you react?"Originally Posted by Tamara Croft
I would have said "go for it"
Last edited by Lorileah; 08-22-2013 at 12:35 AM.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
For me it wouldn't be an issue because I find all of those traits really sexy: hairy armpits, a handsome "look"; a hot "package". Sounds like a dream come true!
I am bi so if my SO wanted to dress as a guy and go packing it would just make life more interesting
Sometimes Steffi, why not just answer your therapist honestly? Spend a little time exploring your true feelings about it rather than asking others for their view.
The problem is, you're preaching to the choir here. WE know that playing with the clothes is no big deal, that she'll still be the same woman when she changes back to whatever she normally wears. What we run into, is that women ARE generally not in tune with this concept, and when we display feminine characteristics, it throws their whole concept of who and what we are completely out of whack; what subconsciously she was attracted to, is suddenly all in question, which makes her feel insecure, and destabilizes your relationship because of that, as women are attracted to male behavior, male bodily motion, male shapes; not female ones. Now, if your wife started to take testosterone and make appointments with doctors to have her breasts removed, and go for SRS, then that would probably be considered a real problem.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
^ Sometimes_Miss, this is so true ... that the CDing destabilizes the relationship simply because women (the ones who have difficulty with it) do not understand men who wish to display feminine characteristics. Most of us know of no other men who wish to do this.
Reine
I would be accepting as long as it wasn't a permanent thing. If she wanted to dress as a masculine role, I think I would want to dress in a feminine role. But, all these are hypotheticals and until it happens to us we will never know.
I think I feel more like Natalie than I do Kat. I think from this point I will go by Natalie.
Part of a recently ended relationship where a reason why it ended was my crossdressing.
.
It would probably go something like this.
I would ask if she was gay, wanted a sex change or go out dressed like a man or if she wanted to pick up women. I would tell her that I love her but if I had known about this before we were married I wouldn’t have married her.
Will need some time to think about it and see if I can accept it, I don’t like it but since I love her I’ll try.
She can dress when I’m not around, I’ll put up with that, I think I can anyway.
Really wish she hadn’t told me since I don’t have anyone to talk to about it, also afraid that I will slip and say something to a family member or a friend about her secret.
I married a woman, I’m not gay, I don’t want to be with a woman that looks like a man.
I don’t want to hear or talk to her about it, don’t want to see her dressed or pictures of her dressed, well maybe sometime in the future I’ll change my mind. No, No I won’t, well maybe after a while.
Maybe I’ll purchase some men’s underwear for her and give it to her for her birthday, that will show her that I’m trying to accept her dressing. But if I do that she’ll expect something for Christmas or her next birthday.
I can’t win, why did she have to tell me her secret.
The more that I think about it, it not a big deal, it’s not against the law, and it isn’t hurting anyone,
Well, it is hurting me, what was I thinking?
I’m going to pack and leave. I can’t do that, I still love her.
I’m so confused!
What will I do if she wants a sex change years from now? Why did this have to happen to us?
Why? Why? Why?
Will the cats understand, should we tell them now or later? The older one is really laid back, probably won’t have a problem with it but the younger one we will have to tell when he get older.
But what if we don’t tell him and he sees her dressed as a man, will that confuse him more?
Damn! I’m so confused right now.
Maybe I can find something on the internet and learn more about this cross-dressing thing.
I don’t think I’ll ever accept it and No, I don’t want to see your male pictures.
Well, maybe later!.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
I spend a lot of time in the closet, because that's where my clothes are.
This is exactly what the same as my answer! Couldn't have said it better.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
It's worth something just being around to Fuss!
She doesn't wear a fake penis because we don't own one, but it's on the shopping list.
She doesn't need to wear padding for her arm muscle, she's muscular enough that she has mannish shoulders and arms.It's kinda hot....
As for the fake beard and other things, it's like I said, if she wanted to present as a man and pass as a man, and needed to do so on some level, I would whole-heartedly support her. And just like she wants me to man out every now and then, I'd want her to girl out every now and then. I probably would divorce over transitioning, just like she would (well, we're in Texas, our marriage would end as soon as we were both legally the same gender).
Now, if there were a way to know in advance the answers to several questions, I might support transitioning for her if and only if I got to transition also. Those questions are: Would I enjoy sex as a woman? Would she enjoy sex as a man? Would we still be attracted to each other sexually? If the answer to any of these is no, then not happening.
But if she wanted to transition, "divorce" doesn't mean the end of our relationship. It just means the end of our marriage. I would still do my best to be there for her to help and support the transitioning, and probably be the first to call her a man.
Same here. I tested it once. We were going out to dinner and I made absolutely no effort, like some people that I know in male mode. lol. I was wearing loose jeans, comfy top that might have had a little stain on it, no makeup, ponytail, flat shoes ... I said, "OK, let's go", to which he replied, "Are you going dressed like THAT?" I asked, "Why? Is it important to you that I look a certain way?" He replied, "No, I just thought you might feel better about yourself if you make an effort".
I don't imagine it would go over well if I packed and flattened out my breasts, and cut my hair short * la man style.
Reine
At this point my wife and I have been through so many things together I think it would be exciting. But honestly the beard might bother me a bit I think though.
Yep, it's easy to write that you'll be understanding but when faced with a beard and a strap on, I suspect many an understanding CD SO would faint. Women are better than us. Just the way it is.Same here. I tested it once. We were going out to dinner and I made absolutely no effort, like some people that I know in male mode. lol. I was wearing loose jeans, comfy top that might have had a little stain on it, no makeup, ponytail, flat shoes ... I said, "OK, let's go", to which he replied, "Are you going dressed like THAT?" I asked, "Why? Is it important to you that I look a certain way?" He replied, "No, I just thought you might feel better about yourself if you make an effort".
I don't imagine it would go over well if I packed and flattened out my breasts, and cut my hair short * la man style.
If only I could talk my wife into stepping up to take the challenge....
Stacy L, that was good! Made me seriously LOL. I've thought about this one for a while. I wouldn't care for it, hypocrisy or not. But I don't think I would hold onto visceral, negative feelings after she went back to her femme mode as I don't do that with almost everything else. I probably would laugh a little at the thought of her with a beard and mustache (I get a kick out of the mustache thing with the younger crowd, no idea why but girls and younger women seem to get a have a thing about wearing a false mustache. If it made her happy, I'd probably tell her to knock herself out with it, just not all the time. It would most certainly not turn me on. I do see my wife wearing my tee shirts (pick your favorite sport and I have one from at least one team), sometimes my shorts or her own unisex shorts or sweats often and I really don't have any strong negative reactions.
I would support it if it is within the privacy of the bed room. Actually, I want my genetic wife to dress as a complete man and make love to me, while I am dressed as a complete woman and acting the female role. In the privacy of the bed room, I want to be the woman in the relationship. But everything must be normal for the outside world.
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