I've made an appointment with a therapist about my cross dressing. The thing is, I want him to promote my feelings and help me do it. So I would like to know what I should do if he does not promote my feelings. Should I listen to him if he says to give up my CD desires? Or should I just follow my feelings?
So you want to talk to a professional to help justify your cross dressing? Therapists are not cheer leaders, they are supposed to be thought provokers. Any therapist worth a damn will challenge you. They are there to help you answer the "why" of things, not to pat you on the back and tell you to put on a dress.
A good therapist won't give you the answers, Jennifer, but will help you to discover your own answers. This needs to be a decision that you reach, but the therapist can help you to sort through your feelings and to deal with any related psychological issues you may have. If you find a therapist who does tell you what to do, it's time to find a new one rather than follow their instructions.
Miriam
A true therapist will only try to stop behaviors that are hurtfull or distructive to you. Anything short of that and they will help you understand it, control it, and integrate it into your life.
Sally
Oh! So my understanding of a therapist is wrong. He'll help sprt through my feelings, but the final decision is mine. Ok.
Interestingly, therapists r PEOPLE! Accordingly, some r good, some not so good.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I think what you can expect from a Therapist depends a great deal on how much experience they have dealing with the TG community, and to a certain degree on their own personal thoughts about the TG community. Someone with experience treating the TG community probably doesn’t harbor any anti-TG feelings, hence the advice to find a Therapist with a history of treating crossdressers.
At my first session my Therapist asked if I was there seeking a “cure” and then went on to explain that there is no known “cure”. She explained that she could help me to come to terms with my crossdressing, help me with any shame and guilt I might be experiencing and help me accept myself and my crossdressing. Therapists can frequently help with bouts of depression and anxiety and talk you through why you’re feeling the way you do. If you know why you’re feeling depressed you may be on the way to alleviating the depression, or at least that causal effect.
I told my Therapist that I had a desire to go out in public, and that I had wanted to go out for decades but I was scared of how I would be perceived. She said that when I was ready I was more than welcome to come any time en femme and it wasn’t but a few months until I decided I was going to my session dressed en femme.. I admit I was very apprehensive about walking into a busy Medical Center, checking in and sitting in a waiting room while people checked me out. When she came to the waiting room and said “Barbra, you can come in now.” I was out in public and I had just been address as Barbra, WOW! I could get used to that high. At the end of my hour I walked out, made a new appointment at the check-in desk, took the elevator down to the ground floor and walked through the lobby with my head held high. I smiled at people in the parking lot on my way to my truck and drove home with a huge smile, not caring what people in other vehicles might think.
Last edited by Barbra P; 08-30-2013 at 12:44 PM.
Babs
A therapist should help you explore options, open up alternative thought processes and perceptions, and clarify your thinking. They should not provide direct answers in most cases or tell you what to do nor decide for you what is right and wrong outside of the obvious. The final decision or conclusions are yours and only yours to make or find.
Some benefit from therapy and others do not. A lot of it depends on what you expect or demand from therapy and what answers you want to hear.
They should, but they may not. If they have no understanding of TG, they may not even know what questions to ask. Or they may be biased and only ask those questions that get you to decide to stop. That being said, I've worked with a number of great therapists, and would go to some sessions dressed, depending on my mood.
Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 08-31-2013 at 09:42 PM.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Make sure you choose one that is experienced in Gender issues. I'm sure that are some out there that think they can "fix" us.
...........................
I agree with the ladies here about finding a therapist that is versed in TG issues. My first therapist wasn't and I felt like he was preaching to me. Very uncomfortable. I see one now that helps a lot of us in the TG community and feel very comfortable every time.
Change is inevitable...
Hey, I went to her! She helped me soooo much. But the prices!!!!Originally Posted by MysticLady
She has payment plans available,now
Check his credentials. If he has been trained properly, he will not tell you what to do. In fact, if you go to him with a predetermined goal and ask his help in attaining it, he will help. And if he has personal issues that prevent him from helping a CDer reach self-actualization, he will tell you and then you can go to someone else.
Reine
All great advice, Jennifer. Ultimately you decide the route you want to take.. Your therapist is there to help you to see choices, and get real clarity about what you may be and what you want, not to direct you.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
A psychiatrist or therapist would help you make up your own mind.
They would not necessarily support or suppress your desires.
They are there to assist not decide for you.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Or, you can always talk too me
I doubt your therapist will approach this in the way you imagine. His job isn't about promoting or discouraging your feelings. It's about helping you understand yourself..and your feelings, helping you make well thought out decisions and helping you learn to cope with the world more effectively.
Therapists are a professional sounding board. They will ask you what YOU want to do. They are facilitators mainly. When I went to mine the issues weren't about dressing, I was fine with it. The issues were about how I could deal with friends and family who couldn't deal with it.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
As someone who has started therapy myself I can say that mine does not tell me whether to stop dressing or to continue. It is my decision and they are there to help me on the road to that decision and to make me think for myself as to what I am feeling. They aren't there to encourage me or make the decision for me. Although there are alot of comments here already which are very good and are right answers, if you want to PM me I will gladly talk to you about what you can expect
I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face, so afraid to tell the world, what I've got to say. But I have this dream bright inside of me. No more hiding who I wanna be. This is me.
Find out how much experience he has in the gender community at large. My first therapist had no experience with gender issues, and was very judgmental. I fired him. My second therapist worked extensively with the gender community and did both group and individual therapy. It was the single best thing I did for myself in my life. Brought me to be relatively at piece with myself, and helped me integrate parts of my life that I was dealing with separately. Most important, she allowed me to figure out how to give my self permission to enjoy myself (which lowered the quilt quotient tremendously)
Wait a few years. When you're older and wiser, you can be a therapist yourself and save a ton of money! Then you can just follow your own advice.
I'm older, my questions are either answered or they just don't matter anymore. I know who I am and accept the fact that I'm either smarter than the therapists, or dumber, either way, I don't really care! I get along with myself just fine.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
How do you feel about going to a therapist?
I do not think a therapist will give you a decision one way or the other.
The therapist will give you suggestions that will help you make up your own mind.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
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