Workaround

[Aly Cat]

Well, I finally experimented with makeup last night! My wife is out of town for the week with her mother so while the cats away, the mice will play! I of course totally looked like a raccoon afterwards and just got frustrated so I quit for the night. This morning, my sister called me after seeing my horror pictures that I texted her and coached me in the right direction! I felt very proud of the results and super thankful for my sister.

Now for the workaround... we were discussing how I should be allowed to wear makeup whenever I wanted and discussed the GG views of makeup. We came to an amazing conclusion! Guys can totally wear makeup and no one will ever know! If people look really close, they will be able to see the longer fuller lashes of mascara and the little details but it wouldnt be overly noticeable.

You use clear mascara to separate the lashes and make them longer looking and fuller, use a light color-tinted feminine chapstick with just a tint of shine, use very flesh colored eye shadows to give a hint of shadowing effect, and then just a tiny bit of foundation to smooth out the appearance. Youre left with smoother features and just enough makeup to make you feel feminine even when in drab and no one is the wiser.
Im going to work on it again tonight to see how things work out and then im going to go full femme makeup afterwards. Ill post some pics hopefully if everything looks acceptable!

[Katie1989]

Good for you, and good tips! Although if I wear makeup I like it to be noticeable!

[Aly Cat]

It just a few tips to help those of us that have to remain undercover still feel feminine.

[linda allen]

If you wear makeup that people can't see, what's the point? And if you're hiding your wearing of makeup from your wife, be sure to clean up all traces before she gets home. Check the cups and glasses for lipstick.

If you're hiding this from your wife but not your sister, that's pretty strange.

[Aly Cat]

Well, think of the invisible makeup like underdressing for those that dont have the freedom to wear what they want whenever they want. It gives them the sense that they are accomplishing something without giving it all away. There are a lot of people who are in this situation. Not everyone has the privilege of having an accepting SO. I for one do not. My wife once compared my actions of crossdressing to the sin of Soddom and Gamora of the Bible. Yes, I avoid her knowing that I crossdress and do all this stuff, however she has specifically told me she doesnt want to know. I am in a DADT relationship. My relationship with my sister is much more open since I have come out to her and she has fully accepted me and even encourages me to be who I am. So I do not see how communication and openness with my sister and not my wife is weird. My wife prefers it this way.

[Victoria Davison]

Eva, your situation may make perfect sense to you, but everyone's situation is different, so forgive us if we ask for details to understand better.

Back to topic, you can also experiment with *lightly* tweezing your eyebrows to get rid of stray hairs (careful! a little goes a long way and if you go to far its months to grow back), and just take really good care of your skin. Shave with a quality razor and soap, moisturize, exfoliate, and so on, and you will enjoy softer, more feminine skin that will *feel* much better than a light coating of makeup. Plus, later when you do have a chance for full makeup, your skin will take to it much better!

[Marlana]

I got your back on this one Eva Lynn. I also am in a DADT relationship and I can't wear makeup out so yeah, invisible eye liner, cool! My sister is gay but I just can't tell her as her partner has loose lips.

[Aly Cat]

Its all good. I didnt mean to get defensive. I just clipped back because Im a little sensitive to when people call a situation weird not knowing details and not actually asking for more details to clarify the situation.
@Marlana....I hear ya! Thats why my other two sisters dont know. When I plan on coming out to everyone, all I have to do is tell those two and the job is done! Darn ship sinkers! Lol.

im really excited because as I type, I am in front of the mirror in my bathroom prepping to start the full process. This will be my first time ever doing it on my own. The last and only other time was when I went drag for Halloween when I was 17! (Im 31 now)

[Victoria Davison]

...as I type, I am in front of the mirror in my bathroom prepping to start the full process.

Careful to not get any foundation, powders, creams, etc. on the laptop, and good luck!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Eva Lynn, Mine is also a DA/DT situation but my wife tolerates it as long as she doesn't want to see it.

[Kelly DeWinter]

If you wear makeup that people can't see, what's the point? And if you're hiding your wearing of makeup from your wife, be sure to clean up all traces before she gets home. Check the cups and glasses for lipstick.

If you're hiding this from your wife but not your sister, that's pretty strange.

Have to agree with you on these points.

Well, think of the invisible makeup like underdressing for those that dont have the freedom to wear what they want whenever they want. It gives them the sense that they are accomplishing something without giving it all away. There are a lot of people who are in this situation. Not everyone has the privilege of having an accepting SO. I for one do not. My wife once compared my actions of crossdressing to the sin of Soddom and Gamora of the Bible. Yes, I avoid her knowing that I crossdress and do all this stuff, however she has specifically told me she doesnt want to know. I am in a DADT relationship. My relationship with my sister is much more open since I have come out to her and she has fully accepted me and even encourages me to be who I am. So I do not see how communication and openness with my sister and not my wife is weird. My wife prefers it this way.

Eva,

It's not that people forget that some do not have an accepting spouse or SO, It's more that we see this pushing of the lines akin to stretching a rubber band until it reaches the breaking point. The majority of CD/TG who are in an unaccepting relationship or DADT relationship go down the road of inventing ways such as this to push push push in a relationship , fooling themselves into thinking that every thing they get away with is one more step toward acceptance from their spouse or SO THEN when things explode , the next post is "I did,t see that coming" . Be bold if you are in a DADT relationship and hold a steady regular dialog with your spouse. I say this time and time again, the spouse of a TG person in a DADT relationship is like ignoring your spouse when she has diabetes, she needs support and help and ignoring it will not make it go away. Creating situations to lie and deceive will NOT make things better. There IS a 4 TON elephant in the room.

[Aly Cat]

Kelly, I definitely agree with you. Right now there is a lot of strain on our relationship pertaining to other issues we are dealing with and CD is just one more thing in the mix. I have no delusions that my is growing more accepting. Because she is so extreme in the matter she makes that very clear. If the rubberband does eventuality snap, there wont be a surprise but there would be sadness and also a feeling of being true to self. Like the saying goes...to thine own self be true. Right now my wife is having a blast in NY and im glad she is. Im having fun too in my own way. We have communicated quite a bit and she knows I have to do what I have to do. She just doesnt want to know about it.

Now...without further ado....pictures!

Sorry about the lighting. This was the only place I could find that didnt turn the camera green for whatever reason. Stupid phone!

[I Am Paula]

Sorry, all I see is a guy with a lot of makeup on. It's a good makeup job, but your wife/boss/coffee shop employee is going to say 'What's with all the makeup?'
Just calling them as I see them.

[linda allen]

I still don't get the "invisible makeup". Makeup does not make one a woman. There are many women in this world (and this country) who never or seldom wear makeup. They are still women and some are very feminine women. Wearing makeup is going to lead to some very embarassing or troublesome situations eventually.

Eva Lynn, if you want to keep your marriage, watch where you are going with this. Seriously think about what your marriage means to you compared to your crossdressing.

[Aly Cat]

I think you miss the point here. Many gals here would agree that when they dress "to the 9s" they FEEL more feminine. The fact of the matter is, they are still guys no matter how you spin it unless they are post opp. Its the FEELING you get from putting on the makeup or anything else that makes you feel feminine. You are right, makeup doesnt make one into a woman...though I never said it did. I have read many threads on this site talking about how those who cant dress openly will underdress to give them the FEELING that they get to do something. It gives them the freedom to express themselves...even if only to themselves. The "invisible makeup" is along the same lines.
When I was talking to my sister they other day, we were having the discussion about makeup and she was saying...

Heres where so many crossdressers mess it up for themselves. They pack on the makeup and make themselves look like porcelain dolls and it just doesnt look right. She was saying to observe GGs "in the wild" and youll notice the ones who overdo it and the ones who make it look natural. The natural look is to improve on your features. Im sure everyone has seen those random GGs who cake on the makeup and it just makes them look totally fake. Its the same way with those crossdressing.
Now, like last night, I was doing the makeup to make certain features like my eyes stand out and my cheeks to be rosy etc. I kept the foundation light and didnt even use anything to really cover up beard shadow. I know some guys have Brillo pads for facial hair and sometimes it requires that beard shadow coverup.
In terms of my marriage, you seem to keep bringing it up. I am in a DADT relationship with my wife and she has specifically told me she doesnt want to know what I do. I have explained to her that I need to be able to do what I need to do and she has agreed to let me do my thing behind closed doors. She doesnt accept my dressing and I have no delusions about that. Im going to be true to myself with or without a marriage. Im not jeopardizing my marriage by doing this any more than I would be by underdressing. It is what it is.

I understand that some wont understand the whole "invisible makeup" concept but quite frankly, if you have the freedom to wear makeup whenever you want, then this post isnt for you. Its for others in the same kind of DADT relationships.

@tgirlcleste I agree. Sadly I dont have a wig to be able to complete the look like I want. Im stuck with my male hairdo and since I know I dont pass to begin with, Im stuck with the look I have.

[linda allen]

Eva, I'm only trying to help. Feel free to ignore my advice if you don't think it applies to you.

Best wishes.

[Karren H]

I wear makeup all the time in male mode... and color my hair.... if it makes you feel better about yourself then do it....

[I Am Paula]

@tgirlcleste I agree. Sadly I dont have a wig to be able to complete the look like I want. Im stuck with my male hairdo and since I know I dont pass to begin with, Im stuck with the look I have.

I may be mistaken. I thought you were still talking about 'invisible' make up your wife would not notice. If you were looking for noticeable feminine makeup, you did an excellent job. I'm jealous.

[Melissa Rose]

Eva, unfortunately I readily see the makeup in the pictures you posted especially the eye shadow and lip shine. It may not be as invisible as you think. If your pictures are representative, I would notice it instantly. IMHO, it will be noticed by more than a few observers if you go out in public especially in close proximity. Certain types of lighting and angles highlights even light makeup and makes it stand out, and you cannot always control the lighting. One sign of well done natural makeup application is it is not readily noticeable when present, but noticed in its absence. If you wear it sometimes, but not always around the same people (e.g., work, family), the contrast would highlight it even more. Sorry, but I think it will be noticed.

[robindee36]

Eva, makeup is as much art as it is skill. I made a great leap in skill through a shop that does makeovers. Rather than just sitting passively in the chair, I had them explain and demonstrate what they were doing and why. Even took some close-up pics at the various stages of transformation. After that, I practiced lots and its still not totally to my liking.

Lets fact it, we Tgirls are at a distinct disadvantage in the makeup arena. Most GG's start playing with makeup, some under the tutelage of mom, in their early teens. We, on the other hand, have several decades of experience to cram into a much shorter time.

Please....do not be discouraged by the constructive comments here. They come from a wealth of experience, perhaps not to a GG's level, but from lots of failures and successes. Don't expect to get it perfect the first time, or second either.

To paraphrase Thomas Edison, 'Every time my makeup is bad, its not a failure. I've just found another way how to not do it'. He was referring to inventing the light bulb, of course

Persistence girl. Sexy, passable (or I'll settle for just cute) takes a lot of practice and you will discover many ways how not to do it.

Back to your mirror girlfriend.

Hugs, Robin

[Chickhe]

To each there own, but their is a danger. Suppose, one day you put a little too much and it -is- noticeable. Then your wife is going to probably react very badly. It is just like underdressing, you bend over and your wife sees your bra strap...

You might try doing in mentally, you can think feminine thoughts, even give your feminine answer and no one except you knows it. Let some of your inner self out and you might feel just as good and no chance you are discovered. I think we hide behind the tough male persona too much, let the guard down a bit and you will feel better.

[Aly Cat]

I may be mistaken. I thought you were still talking about 'invisible' make up your wife would not notice. If you were looking for noticeable feminine makeup, you did an excellent job. I'm jealous.

Ahh sorry about that. The pictures are only showing off my first ever attempt at full makeup application. Not the invisible one. Earlier on in the thread I had talked about since my wife was out of town I get to play with the full makeup line. My sister was walking me through it over text and I was just goofing around. I apologize for the confusion. If you all want, I can post some pictures of the invisible stuff since it is what I am wearing right now, but like I said...not much to see lol. Its invisible!

Oh and thank you for the compliment. I still feel it could be better but I suppose its not bad for a first try with full on makeup.

[Lorileah]

isn't part of makeup to be invisible? To look like you aren't wearing it? I use a tinted moisturizer in day mode. I used to use tinted lip balm that made my lips look more visible because without...they didn't show. I have blonde lashes so mascara would make them visible. BUT the idea was to not look like I was wearing makeup.

I think it is great you are trying this. Done correctly, it will enhance what you have and hide what you don't want showing. Unless a woman is in her 20's maybe 30's the "I don't wear makeup" is not totally true. They don't wear FULL Makeup. but they do use lip tints or mascara or blushes. Age and gravity are not friendly to skin.

[linda allen]

Unless a woman is in her 20's maybe 30's the "I don't wear makeup" is not totally true. They don't wear FULL Makeup. but they do use lip tints or mascara or blushes. Age and gravity are not friendly to skin.

The one I live and sleep with only wears makeup for that "special occasion" like a nice restaurant or dinner with friends. She is far from her twenties. I don't think I ever saw her (late) mother wearing makeup. I can't recall seeing her sisters in makeup either. They grew up on a farm. I think women wearing makeup day in and day out is less common than you think.

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much. I used toned down makeup(including polish) when I underdressed at work years ago. Seemed to take me where I needed to be at that point. Nowadays I don't use makeup unless I'm going out to the club to dance.