This thread is quite funny, all those holier than thou attitudes regarding creating another persona and deceiving people... HELLO, YOU'RE ALL MTF CDS... gosh!! whodathunkit!
This thread is quite funny, all those holier than thou attitudes regarding creating another persona and deceiving people... HELLO, YOU'RE ALL MTF CDS... gosh!! whodathunkit!
Administrator
Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
I think that creating a account for you femme side on match.com has to qualify as a Really Bad Idea.
People join match.com to find mates, not to be toyed with by people fantasizing about being the opposite gender. Getting rejected hurts and just because other people might be doing similar things doesn't make it right.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Yes, but this is a crossdressing forum, we know what to expect and we tell each other that we're crossdressers. match.com or any other mainstream dating site is supposed to be real and for real people seeking relationships with other real people. No doubt there are frauds on these sites but for some folks that's their best chance to meet someone. I used to work with a man who met his wife on eHarmony. For real. They were in the ads for a time.Originally Posted by Tamara Croft
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
on ALT.COM you will find women who like TS and some CD'S/TG.
In general finding women interested in a relationship is difficult no matter what you do. My photo has been rejected on Match, POF, and other dating sites even though I have explain myself as a man who crossdress. The problem has always been the lack of women open to this lifestyle. There are crossdressing and adult dating sites available, but not being “main stream" most women have no interest in these sites. The one site able to avoid this problem is Crossdresser.com. It markets to people curious about transgender issues and allows the general population to read about people different from them. Having just passed the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, hopefully women who come on this site will realize the stereotypical views are untrue and trying to define us with words such as transgender, crossdresser, queer, deviant, etc. does not express our individualities. As long as we remain under the radar, sites like crossdresser .com are our only hope.
Last edited by IMkrystal; 09-01-2013 at 01:59 PM.
And we are representing ourselves as such, as opposed to representing ourselves as a GG in a forum that is dedicated to fostering personal relationships. I don't see the parallel.
Warmly,
Sheren Kelly
The internet can be used for deceptive purposes, but sites like this one (this one) allows some of us to be honest with who we are when we don't think we can in real life. I'm a crossdresser and my real name is not Nicole. I can't tell my co-workers and family that. That's not dishonest. Representing myself online as a real GG would be.
I met a Nigerian banker there and gave him my credit card details, was that wrong?
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Just be patient, Beverly. You'll soon get your big payout. I'm sure the check is already in the mail, like he said it was.I met a Nigerian banker there and gave him my credit card details, was that wrong?
Hi!
Thanks for everyone's responses. A lot of good points pro and con of my idea.
I've decided not to go through with my "experiment". Many of the above responses that were against my idea, reminded me of my own guy mode experience with Match. I always read the profiles and sent notes to women that caught my interest. So I've had some amount of hope that there would be a connection of some degree with these women. It was always frustrating when I would get an immediate thanks, but not interested. Which I did appreciate that they took the time to send me a quite note. Then there were the no responses at all, which happened a lot more often. Anyway, knowing how I felt when i received the rejection notes, or no note at all, I don't want to get someone's hope's up just for my own "research".
Thanks again for everyone's feedback!
You suggest honesty is a "holier than thou" attitude?
I also do not equate dressing in female clothing, or any type of clothing, for my personal enjoyment, typically within my own home, to be the same as deliberately misrepresenting my sex (lying) to someone who has paid money to find friendship or love and could become embarrassed or hurt.
Maybe this thread is not as funny as you think.
Tina, if you're asking if this is ethical, my thoughts are no. You're still leading people on even if you intend on not following through. Others will take time from their busy schedules to read your profile and write. You would be wasting their time, if nothing else, not to mention how someone might feel being rejected.
But, if you do plan on setting up a profile as Tina somewhere with the express purpose of meeting people and following through, then I think it is a good idea. I've read several times here that people have used Plenty of Fish (POF). It's free.
Not really. Tina would only be posting a small picture of herself with wig, etc. A one inch picture does not truly reflect who anyone is. The rest of the profile would be made-up stuff which anyone can do as well.
If Tina wants to see how she is received as a woman, her best bet is to attend the speed dating evenings where she sits for 5 minutes in front of someone chatting, then moves on to the next twenty guys. This would be a true measure of how well she passes. Not a one inch picture at the perfect angle, with profile details that are made up to suit the situation.
EDIT - Tina, I've just seen your response that you're not going to do it. I think this is best.
Last edited by ReineD; 09-03-2013 at 12:34 AM.
Reine
I just set up a Sophie account for OkCupid, and blatantly said that I'm only interested in women (but did say guys are free to try and woo me), and it's amazing that I've had over 100 guys view my profile, and had lots of straight guys send me really dirty sexual messages. But in a way it's a confidence boost, because they said my girl mode looks hot xD
Be whoever you want to be. Screw what others think. It's their loss....
Has anyone used OkCupid to meet men?
What is the best place to meet open minded men?
Internet dating is hilarious. That said, I did meet my fiancé on okcupid. But had some laughs along the way!
From the impression I get from girls, just the odd CD would be nothing compared to the amount of illiterate hairgelled douchebags sending girls poorly spelled one like messages asking if they want to hook up.
Tina,
Though I think a lot of responders to this thread of yours raise some valid concerns, I think some of the criticism is a bit unfairly harsh. Some of it I think too might depend a bit on what the details of your situation are.
Take me, for example, I've got an OKCupid profile I just included in my signature (I think that's allowed via the forum's rules, right?). Anyway, I created this profile because I wanted to go out more as my feminine self and wanted some friends to do things with when I did. I don't know about you, but I consider myself more transgender than crossdresser, but if that's the case for you then I don't think it's entirely "disingenuous" to open a "female" profile. In my opinion, there is not a stark dichotomy between online profiles that are "truthful" and those that are "lies"... It's much more a spectrum.
OKCupid doesn't allow me to chose "Other" as my gender, but I might go that route if they did. But, if anything, I feel it's more honest for me to check the "female" box than the "male" one in this case. My photos are of my feminine self and that's who I want to make friends as... I do explain in one section of my profile that I'm mtf transgender, but I purposefully didn't put that in the very front of the profile. I'm hopeful that for a little while people will actually think about whether or not we have the same tastes in movies and love to travel rather than what's in my pants. Obviously, if your photos are all smoke and mirrors that present you very differently than you would seem irl, there's some deception there (the same kind that very large GGs engage in not rarely though, I'd say), and if you don't feel at all transgendered, but only see crossdressing as a rare hobby, so that you'd never be interested in meeting irl as a woman, then yes, I'd say the exact plan you had for Match.com might not be a good idea, but if you're like me, I think you might consider something like what I put up on OKCupid.
Just a thought...
Best of luck to you!
~ Caleigh
A transgender woman in New York has died after being beaten by a group of men who attacked her and yelled gay slurs.
The victim, 21-year-old Islan Nettles, died Thursday in a Harlem hospital when she was taken off life support five days following the attack.
The attacker, a 20-year-old man named Paris Wilson, was arrested for assault but now that the victim has died he may face murder charges.
The attack on Nettles was the latest in a spate of bias incidents this year in New York and a total of 68 have been reported so far this year, showing a significant increase from the 54 that were reported in all of last year.
Nettles and a friend, another transgender woman, were out Saturday evening in Harlem when they ran into a group of men and one pounced, punching Nettles in the face, police said.
The New York Post reports that the attack took place after Wilson began flirting with Nettles, before he realized she was transgendered.
Once that became clear, his friends started teasing him and he proceeded to attack her.
Hate crime: A witness told police that the attackers yelled gay slurs at Nettles, who was walking down a street in Harlem with other transgender women
Hate crime: A witness told police that the attackers yelled gay slurs at Nettles, who was walking down a street in Harlem with other transgender women
After the attack, Nettles was hospitalized, slipped into a coma and later died.
The witness eventually told detectives about the anti-gay remarks- after initially leaving them out of the criminal report- and the hate crimes task force took over the investigation.
Detectives are looking whether the suspect had propositioned Nettles.
Upgraded charges are possible following the medical examiner's ruling, police said.
Nettle's sister, Elana, said in an interview Friday that she and her mother were coping well so far but did not comment further.
The bias attacks this year range from yelled slurs to the May killing of a 32-year-old gay man in Greenwich Village. Police stepped up patrols this summer in response.
In May, police said Mark Carson, 32, was first taunted with homophobic slurs, then shot in the head in Greenwich Village, not far from the site of 1969 riots that helped give rise to the gay rights movement.
A suspect was arrested on a charge of murder as a hate crime. The killing, and other bias attacks, sparked a summer protest attended by thousands.
Too late: Nettles was in a coma at Harlem Hospital for five days before she died on Thursday
Too late: Nettles was in a coma at Harlem Hospital for five days before she died on Thursday
Some of the other bias incidents this summer included an assault last week where two men were attacked in Chelsea.
Christine Quinn, the city's first openly gay City Council speaker and a mayoral candidate, denounced the most recent attack.
'An attack against one person, or one community, is an assault against all New Yorkers,' she said in a joint statement with other council members.
'We ask all New Yorkers to come together, to embrace our differences and to denounce hate violence.'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz2j7LptKeI
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
To the person who said something to the effect that this is quit funny because we are all lying on here. We are not lying, we are being open here to the fact that we are CD, TG. There is a big difference when you lead some one on that you are in fact a BIO FEMALE. There maybe a lot of male who do not approve of us, but have no intention of doing anything to harm anyone. Put them in the spot of being fooled and you are risking your life.
I hate to derail this thread, but....
No, Bridget, this is a false equivalency.
Tina's creation of an online profile does not put her life at risk. In fact, most of the thread's criticism has been that if Tina were to do as she stated she was considering doing and simply turn away all of the interested parties that came her way, she would be the one in the wrong for wasting all of these men's time.
Your final quote though I find quite a dangerous thing to say:
Depending on what Tina decided to do there might be some sort of "deception" to speak of, but in the case of Islan Nettles?!
How was she "fooling" anyone? By being transgender and being out in public?
We live in a dangerous world and it's good for all of us to remember that, especially those of us transgressing gender norms. So yes, it's true that there's a lot of hatred and violence in this world and yes it's true that we gurls can be liars just as much as any other kind of folk... but let's please not come to the conclusion that simply being ourselves constitutes a lie.
Sorry for the rant, but I just feel very strongly that this is an important point here on this forum.
Thank you,
Caleigh
Sorry I did not mean to over state this. I took the story from the New York Times as it started with a online profile, in this case FB. Just meant to point out the dangers of not being up front about who you are in the event you get wrapped up and decide to meet some one.
Anyways it is worth talking about.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-31-2013 at 12:04 AM. Reason: no need to quote the whole post above yours to reply, and no need top post that photo, it wasn't anything to do with thread
I am a little late here, but knowing and participating in the online dating scene for quite a long time (obviously with little true successes) I see no harm in doing what you are proposing, especially when you had planned ("had" because you have now said that you will not do this) to decline conversation, written or otherwise, with anyone who contacts you. No one is going to get hurt when you do not communicate with them. Someone please tell how that could happen. As for wasting someone's time. It is a dating site and just surfing it can be a big waste of time, so that will not hurt nor really waste a lot of time for most of the people who may try to contact you. If you ever look at some of the messages that you receive, the vast majority of them are one liners. Why, because those "honest" people also just ignore someone's effort to contact them, deleting the message, many times without even reading it.
I do believe that you can learn from the experience if you handle it correctly. You can see how people respond to your looks and your profile. Now, since Match.com is a paid site, why not try a free site like plentyoffish.com or OKCupid.com. OKCupid I think has advised members and maybe new members that they do limit gender variations form posting. So, check out their rules first.
Posting Permissions
