So yeah I know I said about waiting until a couple more life aspirations of my wives were fulfilled, but its been very heavy on my mind, and after really thinking about it it has been 2 years since i first brought it up. (wearing lingerie)
I told her we needed to talk cause things haven't really been right with us and we agreed tomorrow night would be a good time.
JenniferAtHome tweaked this for me a bit, TYVM! but wondering if there is anything integral that i'm missing. I plan to read this to her, I can speak for hours on technical stuff, but am not so good when it comes to affairs of the heart...
//begin rant
Honey, I may have to read this to you because I'll probably screw it up if I do not but I have something serious I'd like to discuss.
When we were dating and up to about 2 years ago I always seemed to have some private time alone for "gamin in my underpants". Over the past couple of years my stress about cross dressing has been increasing. That's when I told you there was more than just underwear preferences. Understandably your worries that I might be gay and even would want to become a woman. I have come to learn that this is a common fear for most spouses.
Lately, I have been reading about 'what makes crossdressers tick' but there really isn't one all encommpassing thing. I have also been communicating to a few who are kind of like me. Don't worry, It's totally anonymous. I am worried that you are seeing me differently now. I feel like something changed after we talked and let you know I have a feminine side.
This feminine part is really is what balanced the //name removed to protect the innocent// you know. Cross dressing isn't just about dressing like a girl, and it is not a sexual thing, it's something I feel I need to express who I am.
You might recall that prior to the layoff and our conversation, i was a lot softer, did more things that would be construed feminine that you liked. Getting mani's ped's, shopping, being more romantic, huggy, touchie feelie, a listener. We also didn't live together and I had some time to express the feminine me.
I feel like you hope that if we brush my cross dressing under the table, it's going to go away. It's not. It just makes me feel more and more stressed. There is no cure for cross dressing because it isn't a disease. It's not a compulsion but more like a part of me.
I want you to know and believe I am still the same man you married, you are my love, my best friend, my goose. I am still your man when I need to be your man, to protect you, to run to the gas station at 11 at night cause you want some chocolate, your provider and your rock. None of that changes.
But I'm also the person who likes cute things and to feel pretty. For reasons I don't understand when I dress I have a huge stress relief. That seems to be common among cross dressers.
I won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable and it is totally up to you as to what happens at this point, do know again, that I love you with all my heart, I love only you, I love you because we were friends before we fell in love, friends after we fell in love, and my tweedledee, lover of life.
I can't not be a cross dresser so if you don't want any part of this that's ok. I just want your help to figure out how I can be me and not offend you. If that means I have to do my thing when your not around, then that's ok. I get that, but I do need my time to do that. In my ideal world, I would really like, is to be able to share both of me in harmony with you as we grow old together. But it's really only your decision and I can abide by whatever it may be.
If you are interested, there are some resources I can offer, like a book or a web site, just let me know.
So what's on your mind?"
//end rant
Thoughts from the forum?