Work versus home

[Christina Kay]

Well going back to work Thursday. And having been home for a bit, (thats when i found this forum) and letting Aretha start to integrate herself, quite comfortably I might add.And it's all because of everyone on this forum.THANK YOU.from the bottom of my heart. Will be interesting to see if some of my movements, or mannerisms slip out. Or will I just fall back into old ways. Had someone mention the business I am in ,is like being in the 8th grade forever. (And i was angst ridden then LOL) And he was not far from the truth. So i get to dress a bit this afternoon. Then back to the grind. Workboots instead of heels.How do you handle the 2 different worlds? Just curious?And thanks again for everything

[Marcelle]

Hi Aretha,

Like yours sounds, my job is very macho "towel snapping" manly. I have been integrating Isha a bit at work but have spent the last few days on holidays so not so much recently.

I love my day job and I enjoy being manly (not so much the towel snapping side though). So I was a bit apprehensive that Isha's mannerisms might slip out but the interesting thing is they did not. I believe we can owe that to automaticity in that we have been acting manly for years and you tend to default to what you know best in familiar circumstances.

She did however bring a certain calm and focus to my job which I have not felt for years. So I go with that. When I get stressed or feel like I am going to loose it at work, I channel Isha and together we work through it.

Good luck at work.

Hugs

Isha

[Sarah Michelle]

The courageous among us don't. They live in the world of their own choice and invite everyone-else in. Those of us who lack the courage hide except for special moments and places like this. I am among the cowards, too afraid of social and family rejection to be true to myself. In between are the lucky ones who have a special few that they can share their inner being with. They are probably the most likely to be happy between the two worlds. Just my thoughts in as few words as possible.

[Kate Simmons]

Understood Hon. Since I'm retired I'm just in "monkey business" myself.

[Karren H]

I really have nothing to "slip" out because nothing really changes when I change clothes except my looks..... everyone at work knows I'm a bit feminine.... more feminine than the average coal miner for sure... All the pink desk accessories and hand lotions...... Cosmo radio playing..... and I'm at a place in life where I don't really care who knows.... and people here are pretty accepting.... though I have been warned by our department head to not wear heels to work! lol

[Lorileah]

back to the grind. Workboots instead of heels.How do you handle the 2 different worlds? Just curious?

Probably a lot like any woman would...you wear what you need to wear at work, do your job, get paid (hopefully) and then go home and change to something you like

[DebbieL]

When I have to go to client offices, I wear a "pup tent" dress shirt. At 320 LBS I had a 17+ inch neck, and a full cut shirt can cover almost anything.
I usually wear a camisole or blouse under it, primarily to keep the shirt from irritating my breasts. I also pull my hair back into a pony tail or bun, but even that really isn't necessary.

When some is observant and asks about my long nails or the frost color, or the earrings, I'll thank them for the compliment. If they want to know "Why?", I just say "I'm transgendered". Often the conversation opens up and is quite positive. When people don't know, they dance around the elephant in the room. Once they know the score, they will either want to engage, get more information, and be very supportive, or they will say "that's nice" and change the subject.

In my case, because I intend to transition, secrets are going to be harder to keep over time. The more people who know in advance, the easier the transition will be when I make the switch to working in the office as a woman.

As it is, I wear women's pants (they fit better), women's shoes (2 inch chunk heels usually), a woman's jacket, and a purse, which I often put on top of my laptop pull-case, which I need because I need 2 laptops and a tablet for work, along with the accessories (trackballs, power supplies, back-up drives,...).

After work, I add the bra and take off the pup tent, and I'm ready for dinner as Debbie. The pup tent won't hide the bra, but it will work for the short walk from the restroom to the parking lot, especially since I leave about an hour later than most people.

One of the reasons I went into computers was that it was gender neutral. In fact, I started out as a "Kelly Girl" back in the late 1970s. I did data entry and data verification for Kelly services. Most of the other co-workers were women, and they loved having a guy in the crowd, but quickly figured out that I was pretty much just one of the girls.

I was in therapy at the time, but the therapist told me I could not talk about my transgender issues. It wasn't LEGAL to want to be a girl. If you were really insistent, they diagnosed you as delusional, and gave you ECT. If that didn't "fix" you, there was always Lobotomy. There were she-males in California and New York, but in Colorado it was still forbidden. Trinidad opened in 1969, but that was in New Mexico, just south of the Colorado border.

[Amy R Lynn]

We certainly have come a long way since the 60's and 70's! We still have a ways to go yet though. It is interesting how some work places are very accepting and others are not. We have had two people transition and go through SRS in my office. I work in a huge fortune 500 corporate office. There are a good couple of thousand people working there. They have a very open and accepting policy towards the LGBT community.

I have found that since accepting Amy as part of me, I haven't really changed any of my mannerism's. They are all exactly the same. I have always been kind and caring. I will tear up when I hear or see an emotional story. I have no problem crying while watching a sad movie. I have always had this nurturing sense of care towards kids. These are all seemingly feminine traits I would say. They are me, always have been.

I can also go out and work on my car or build things in my wood shop just like any other guy. I love to drink beer and watch football on Sunday's. Got your truck stuck in the mud? I would love to help out!

My point is, I don't think that accepting CD'ing as a part of your life means that you are going to start acting more feminine than you already are. If you find that there are things that you notice more, they were there all along. you just didn't notice!

[Beverley Sims]

Aretha,
My two lives blend together.
Works for me.

[Sabrina133]

While most at work know i dress, our dress code is quite strict I wear suits. I always underdress.

[bridget thronton]

I usually wear women's pants suits at work and women's casual shoes (I only add a tie to my outfit on the days I teach)