Where I am Today

[Brooklyn]

I'm out as a CDer to most friends and family and generally feel happy and accepting of the way I am. Although I only can step out en femme twice per month, incorporating as much femininity into my daily life makes me feel better. Whether it's carrying a handbag, using eyeliner, painting my nails, or wearing a ladies tank top to yoga, I just go with how I feel. Many people think I'm gay, and are surprised to learn that I like women. A few members here have indicated that this approach also works for them. Does this work for you?

My doctor has asked me about HRT, which I've declined for now. I don't feel the intense need, and hope I never do. I'm in awe of those who do transition, but trying to unify my feminine side with the rest of my life seems easier and safer. Earlier this year, I broke from my professional career and started cosmetology school. Playing with hair and makeup all day sounded like fun, and I was right! Also, you learn things about women in beauty school that you probably won't anywhere else (another post). The field is generally low-paying, however, so I don't know how far I can continue with it. Have any of you switched careers or made other major life changes to allow your feminine side to flourish?

[Melissa73]

welcome to the club! i just recently came out to my mom and sister and my soon to be ex wife. I love to dress, love women too, (with a curousity about men) but like i tell people i dont want to "be" a woman! i dont want the surgery... but i envy those who want it and go for it! Like u, i am happy bringing girly stuff into my everyday life


hugs melissa

[steftoday]

Hi Ashley!
Perhaps opening your own studio, getting your clientele, and having others cut for you would be a way to make it more lucrative. The girl that cuts my hair rents space in her studio, and she's had her own place for several years now. I'm sure offering more services like waxing, makeup and massage would help as well. I wish you well! (I'm a bit jealous too. )

[ReineD]

I'm in awe of those who do transition, but trying to unify my feminine side with the rest of my life seems easier and safer.

Good for you, Ashley!

Although some members find mention of studies/theories tiresome, I read recently a theory that among CDers (not TSs .. there's a difference), there are those who will be able to integrate both sides such as you do, and not need to transition, and those who cannot so their feminine sub-self takes over the masculine master-self because the conflict is too great.

My SO does not need to switch careers because there are equal numbers of women and men in her field. But, she has made many changes in her personal life, like doing things in guy mode that he used to think were the sole domain of women (having certain aesthetic preferences for example). I think that she also allows herself to get in touch with all her emotions all the time, no matter how s/he is presenting. I didn't know him when he was younger, but he strikes me as a type who would not have allowed himself to be emotionally sensitive.

[paulaloha]

Ashley it's always great for me to hear stories of others coming out to family and some friends. I recently came out to my cousin and I am planning on coming out to my parents soon.
There are also a few friends on my to come out to list that I'm hoping to check off soon.

As for changing professions I am also looking at doing that. Not cosmetology, which I think would be fun, just wouldn't be good at it.
I am currently pursuing American Sign Language and am hoping to go to Interpreting school soon. I am also considering Nursing as well, maybe in addition to ASL later on.

Both of which are fields which are dominated by women. I really do tend to prefer fields and professions dominated by women.

Hope things are going well for you in cosmetology school!

[Marcelle]

Hi Ashley,

As I come more to terms and acceptance of Isha in my life, I find that some things I did in male mode I do in femme mode now. These relate more to static past times (computer mods, writing, reading, watching TV) not things like yard work, working out, or more hard core activities (have not skydived en femme - afraid of loosing my wig ). I also have begun doing things in guy mode which I normally only did in femme mode (e.g., shopping for girl clothes, make-up). However, when en male, I am complete en male although my nails are slightly longer and my eyebrows slightly thinner. Like you I have no desire to transition complete and like things right where they are and working .

As for profession, being in the military and with Special Forces, I knew that this was not going to be a supportive environment so I left and went back to my parent military occupation - psychologist. So in a way it was a major change as I spent 12 years in SF and moving back to an office environment is difficult. I don't work en femme (even though I could if I wanted) but I don't want to make clients uncomfortable.

It sounds like you are moving forward with integrating your two halves as well. I hope things work out with cosmetology and you find balance.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

Ashley,
You seem content to be who you are.
You present well and keep on doing what you are doing.
I thought your doctor's question was interesting and your answer probably as good.
Do something like that if you are ready.
I have not presented myself or even come out enough to do what you are doing.
Can you use skills you already have in a female persona?
All the best.

[Kate Simmons]

Good for you Hon. My friend Amanda went into Cosmetology, started her own business and not only does makeovers for women but TG folks as well. She loves it. Good luck my friend.