hello everyone
was wanting to hear from people when they met another cd for the first time, what was it like and did you have certain expectations of that person or yourself?
I personally have not met another cd before but would like to at some point, though I'd probably want to meet in my guy mode first.
I'm not sure of places where I'd meet cd's in new zealand...calling any kiwis for help on that
jack-sparrow...should you ever find yourself in Salem NH look me up and we will get together in guy mode and chat and share!
I would suggest, as you said, meeting in guy mode first in a public place like a shopping centre. Try and find out if you are on the same page and if you want to disclose things like were you live down the line, you'd be able to work that out
It was a club of sorts. A group including some wives who met up once a week, dressed and often went out to a local gay pub or elsewhere. It was all good natured like a men's club where they happened to dress as women. At the time I was young and pretty and caused quite a stir. I didn't attend much for one reason or another which is a pity. A similar group exists now in Dublin where you can safely meet others in a relaxed atmosphere.
Can't speak for New Zealand but if there's a couple of groups here in a small country like Ireland there has to be similar in NZ, particularly the bigger cities. A bit of googling should throw up something. Facebook and yahoogroups might have something.
Last edited by mariehart; 09-09-2013 at 07:02 AM.
I have only met with one other cd and we met in guy mode first. Actually we had met in a chat room online and got to talking and he needed some work done on his place and the estimates he was getting were all pretty hi so I told him I would take a look for him. I went down and we agreed on a price and talked about the cd thing. I went down a week later and did the work. When I got done he asked me if I would like to take a shower and clean up because I was pretty dirty after the work was done. So I showered and when I came out of the shower there were some girl things there with a note for me to put them on because my other things were in the wash.
While we waited on my clothes to wash and dry we both sat there en femme and chatted about things. I was worried about his wife coming home but he said she was at work and wouldn't be home for awhile. He also told me she knew all about it and that she was fine with the cd thing and with him meeting others.I didn't meet her that day but I did meet her later on.
Bottom line is I was just so much more comfortable with being dressed with him because we had met and talked before.
"It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
It takes all kinds of kinds.
Yes, I agree. What drives us to dress and how we like to express ourselves is so different, having one thing in common (CDing) is bound to result in bad mismatches.Originally Posted by Princess29
Some like to dress conservatively and blend in public, while others prefer less conservative (more fun - haha) looks and are happy to do it privately.
There have been CDing bucket list threads, and upon reflection I'm pretty content with what I have done (and not done). The one thing I always wanted to do but never did was get together with other like-minded CDers, say 3 or 4 of us, for an informal private dress-up party and chit-chat session. Like-minded is the key. I like to make up and dress over-the-top, and that doesn't do well in public. I know there are others like me who would enjoy the companionship of like-minded CDers. For me, meeting another CDer just because we both CD would have a slim chance of being an enjoyable get-together, and we would both feel that way. Many of us who grew up alone with our CDing crave such companionship, but a good fit is important.
Meeting and dressing with another CD would be an exiting thing for me, I am also scared of meeting the wrong person, some one who would set me up. Just the fact that I would be seen by someone else as Petra would be a thrill tho and a gurl can always dream of such a meeting !!!
It is a great thrill to meet.I suggest meeting in guy mode or being very open minded
agree, i would be nervous as heck as well. but this is something i have thought of for quite some time now and would love to experience.
i hope this works out for you. be safe, be sure and be well
kelly
I think the guy mode 1st meet idea is great advise.
Met someone en drab after months of chatting online . After lunch the other person choose to depart rather quickly, and severed all communications. Rejection is hard to take most of the time,while other factors add to the equation. Enjoy the conversation here, and sometimes the silver lining is not perceived until later. Best wishes jack sparrow every encounter is never the same.
I've met a number of local crossdressers.... enfemme and in drab..... in public and in private.... out for lunch and shopping and in playing dressup..... the biggest thing was getting to know them before hand.... and setting up the ground rules of what was and wasn't going to happen.... and to date..... all my meetings have gone exactly as planned..... one of the girls even lives in the same township and our kids went to school together.... we run into each other all over the place..... she and her wife always visit our garage sale... lol Its a small world....
Last edited by Karren H; 09-09-2013 at 08:45 AM.
This forum is a great resource for that. I met my first cd friends from here. Set your ground rules upfront. there are NZ members from up and down the county.
I have met a number and they have all gone well. I've never met on in guy mode first myself, but one of my friends was still in guy mode when I met her. I was dressed and we were going out to eat. It can be a bit nerve-racking at first, but I now have a network of CD friends to hang out with. I have only had one who wanted to initiate something sexual, and when I expressed I wasn't interested in that, everything was cool again. As Jennifer says, look in the directory to see who is near you, send them a message. I have also made posts in the meeting section to meet girls in different areas I travel to. I love the friendships that have developed.
Meeting someone new, should be treated as just that whether in male or female mode. We are not kids and we have so many things to talk about that is not just CD related. I have met many CD's in male mode and male mode. When meeting someone who has not yet gone out, or is still a newbie, I will suggest that we meet in guy mode. As Karren and others have said, getting to know them through emails or chat will help to know them better before meeting.
I have met with several CD's. Always in public and always dressed. Usually for lunch, a couple times for coffee. Some I had a lot in common with, good conversation, and some were less compatible but, nonetheless it was always pleasant.
Lisa
I met other CD's for the first time at a club. Then later at a support group. I get really shy and standoffish so I found it difficult. Never been out together with another CD.
See if there are any suppor tgroups in the area, some have meeting places where you can come in drab and dress there. There are all kinds of people of all ages, from the newest CD to women who are just about through their transition.
I met one a few years ago in drab shortly after I accepted I was a CD. He brought his wife and we had a pleasant dinner at a local restaurant. Didn't have a lot in common but I'd say it went ok. I would just echo that you set ground rules prior to meeting, if you talk to someone from Craigslist they're more likely to think you're looking for a sexual thing, unless you make it clear you aren't!
From my own experience, I'd say there were two consistent surprises. One is that you're not guaranteed to have much of anything in common beyond the obvious. You're not likely to become best of friends based on a single shared interest, so it might be best to either get to know people in an online context or a group environment to improve your odds of connecting with someone enough to enjoy spending time together. The other is that you're likely to see your own insecurities when speeding time around other CD/TG folk. "Is that really what I look like to other people?" was a phrase that leapt readily to mind. Getting comfortable with myself was an important step in accepting other people as well. Your mileage may vary.
~ Kimberly
“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
I used to belong to a CD social club years ago. Some of the people I met there were really great; kind, generous and lots of fun. Others were shallow and annoying. I guess what I'm saying is that just because someone CDs doesn't mean you'll necessarily get along with them. But it's great to have something in common with the ones you do get along with.
I kind of drifted away from the social club when we had kids, but now that they're older I'm planning on rejoining. It will be interesting to see if and how 17 more years of life experience will change my perspective.
Echoing what Kimberly said, it can make you feel a bit insecure. The really good-looking CDers made me depressed at how badly I failed to pass, and the non-passable ones made me depressed thinking "wow, I probably look just like them"
I prefer meeting already dressed. First there is an illusion we want to present. I know that there are some here who dress a a hobby, but most take it seriously. And when you meet as guys, I think it would be MORE awkward.
Yes, it does get boring talking what underwear you have on. But it should be in public
I have had maybe two planned meetings. The first was 15 plus years ago and the person stood me up 5 times. She wanted to meet as a guy and then "dress up" at my place. I should have seen the reds flags there. There were several of them. First she wasn't "out" to her spouse, so she was sneaking around. Then she wanted to mess MY place up with the make up and all AND wanted me to paint her. All this in a one hour meeting. (so basically she wanted someone else to do all the work.) And she wanted to dress while I watched (so me being there was just to see her naked in her mind...well in the end I found out she wanted MORE than just looking...with her getting the benefit and me not getting anything). This is why I am a little hesitant when someone wants to meet to "play dress up" in private.
Another was with a member here who was just passing through. We had a wonderful lunch, in public.
Always meet in public
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I belong to the River City Gems in Sacramento and they have a monthly Drab Gab where members meet for the first time (me) or as an ongoing meeting (me, also). They meet in guy mode at a revolving restaurant for lunch and it is just a great place to talk about things not girly, but related to however we present when not in guy mode. I found the group to be very reassuring and when I went to the first girls night social, I had friends I could immediately talk with.
Find out if there is something similar in your area. If there is something similar, you could then invite the individual you want to meet to the group meeting and do it safely, if that is your concern.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
I had one random chance encounter with a CD; I was in drab, she was not. It was completely unexpected and very exciting, but I was married at the time, and my wife did not know about my CDing. Since CDing for me was always a sexual experience, this encounter quickly became sexual, and it was the only sexual experience I ever had with a non-GG. It involved kissing and intense rubbing of our bodies, but no direct genital contact. When we were done, we made plans to meet the next day, but I chickened out, partly out of shame, and partly out of the fear of how starting something like a relationship with a real person could complicate my life. While it was a unique kind of thrill for me, it was also one more source of shame, and in a new and different way: not only did I feel bad about doing something outside what is "normal" and "proper," which was a problem for me at that time with respect to CDing itself, but it was also an extension of my dishonesty toward my wife, and it meant standing this innocent CD up the next day, when for reasons she knew nothing about, I didn't show up.
speaking of meeting public and en femme, a make up stylist asked me if I'd ever consider stopping by in male mode. I said no. I just didn't feel that I wanted her to know me as a male. I'd rather she know me as the person I prefer to be. I think I'd feel the same about meeting other CDs. Why would I want to meet them in male mode when this is who I want to be know and accepted as.
I have met someone from here. It was to basically give some of my extra clothes to this person. I was nervous but you know what, all my nervousness went away when we met and we chatted for a bit and hopfully we can meet for coffee or lunch. I have also reached out to someone moving close to me and am looking forward to be her friend.
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