I often wonder if we will sometime see the day when it won't be "Unusual" to see men out, dressed as women. Think of the marketing possibilities.
I often wonder if we will sometime see the day when it won't be "Unusual" to see men out, dressed as women. Think of the marketing possibilities.
No, cross dressing is not normal. That's easy. Is homosexuality normal? No. "Normal" means average or typical. But on a spectrum of super-fantastically weird to normal, cross dressing is not far from normal. I can think of a hundred things more weird than cross dressing. In the case of your SO, she may be more concerned with what MORE you want out of cross dressing. She may fear you want to transition, be with a man, all kinds of things. You have to talk about this.
Nylon --of course it's normal. tell her to look at what women wear. tell her to look at her own clothes and tell you that she and 99 percent of her sisters aren't crossdressers. what isn't normal is how we he-men who have been given the task of fighting wars and protecting the "weaker sex" are not afforded the opportunity to dress in whatever attire we choose. try telling a woman she can't wear particular clothing and get ready for a lawsuit
Is it Normal, most definitely Yes for the person that does it and until someone can come up with a sensible answer as to why it would not be normal in doing something that does no one any physical harm then I am sticking with that .
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
Is crossdressing normal?
No, at least the men wearing frilly bras and panties kind. GG's wearing pants, t-shirts and ball caps sorta falls into the normal realm. Personally, I've always been a little bored with 'normal'. If you are searching around for positive input to sway your new prospect's assessment of your proclivity, well, good luck. How 'bout she tells you that she's compelled to wear a beard and mustache in public and plans to get it tattooed to her face. Perfectly normal? Come on, you'll learn to deal with it.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Friends, I was a very odd boy, and later on, wanted so much to become normal. I wanted a girlfriend, get married, have kids, and all the normal things. But, with tears, i have never achieved normalness. I never had a steady girlfriend, my first girlfriend killed herself with drugs. Never got to marry, nor have kids. Crossdressed first, about age 14, then quit, trying to become more normal. In my 30's , i was blessed to date some, mostly much older women, but was never ready , or too poor, or too messed up with parent's and siblings issues. I still feel like i am from another galaxy, but really am not all that different from the "normies". It is just socially, i have been a stunted loser, and like women's clothes. I am not that abnormal in that i like animals, sports, history, music, bicycling, hiking, fishing, swimming, and lots of other things most people like. Humans have a lot in common mostly, but pereferal differences. I am glad all are not just exactly like me. However, my whole family was afflicted with emotionally immatuirty, and some brain defects, making us all strange, even with out cding. We are all complex, as all creation is complex, yet simple in some ways!
Yes it's completely normal. I do it all the time and I am normal.
I once read that anything you do continually for three weeks becomes habit and so its normal to all of us here
"Behind every great man, is a great Woman"
Normalish, or, Maybe we all just take the above saying too literally ?
No offense, but I am the only "normal" person I know. And I love to CD. So there.
Is it normal? Yes, if you consider there will always be a small percentage of people who fall at either extremity of the bell curve. This alone is "normal". We are not all made the same. The mathematical calculation of the mean, which is the number in the middle, includes all people, across ALL characteristics and behaviors.
Looking at the bell curve, the Cding would fall in either section (depending on which way you look at it), as 'definitely more' or 'definitely less' than others. But, it is still on the bell curve.
So to be off the bell curve entirely (not part of the calculation of the mean), you would have to not be human.
bell_curve.gif
Reine
The MYTH is that ANYONE lives a "Normal" life. Every family has it's secrets, whether it's the boy who hides his mom's pantyhose between the mattresses where he thinks she can't find them, or incest, or domestic violence, or one or both spouses being incredibly sexually frustrated, or a spouse who loathes sex but is afraid to tell their partner. There women who have been raped before the marriage, and men who dallied with boys before the marriage.Originally Posted by Launa
Television gave us a VERY DISTORTED picture of "Normal" families. Even the TV families had some horrible secrets.Normal to most North Americans would be a life lived like Mike and Carol Brady.
Ozzie and Harriet were the "model family" in the 50's an dearly 60's, but Ozzie had a violent temper.
Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie, with Laura and little Robby - the network went to great lengths to hide the fact that Dick was a raging alcoholic.
Lucy & Ricky Ricardo had a wonderful marriage on "I love Lucy", where Lucy was always trying to get into Ricky's night club act.
The reality was that the Network originally wanted only Lucy in the show, and didn't think the network audience would tolerate a Cuban husband, it was DESI who struggled to get bits from his nightclub act into the TV show. Lucy and Desi also had a very volitile relationship, both of them had strong wills and fierce tempers. But they made beautiful comedy together.
June Cleaver and Donna Reed were also fantasy moms that never existed. Both were seasoned professional actresses doing a job, but thought the kids in the show were little brats most of the time. Both often laughed at the very prospect that a stay-at-home mother would be making breakfast for her husband and children wearing 3 inch heels, a Bob Mackie Designer Dress, and a strand of real pearls along with pearl earrings.
Then we had All in the family, where Archie was a racist, ignorant, opinionated, and bigoted against nearly everything and everybody. Sadly he became a ROLE MODEL for many who are now in the "Fox News" audience. The reality was that Carol O'Conner who played the role was actually very much the opposite and was hoping that by bafooning Archie to the point that he offended everybody (everybody was laughing AT him for being so ignorant and biased), that NOBODY would want to be like Archie Bunker, and that being called Archie Bunker would be such an insult that people would stop immediately with the racist, sexist, or homophobic remarks. Sadly Rush Limbaugh, who was the REAL Archie Bunker, got a radio show where people actually took him seriously.
Later we had "Married with Children", the ultimate dysfunctional family. Peg was a tarty sex-crazed woman who was always wanting sex (something men of that period would have LOVED to have had, since many women of that generation had been sexually traumatized prior to marriage and hated sex in marriage), and Al Bundy was incredibly stupid, gullible, and nice, but seemed to have NO desire for sex (exact opposite of how most married men of that generation viewed themselves). The kids appeared to be complete brats on screen, with Kelly (Christina Applegate) looking like a very dumb blonde ****. In reality, Christina was very smart, very professional, and knew how to play her role to get the maximum effect, and worked very hard to make every performance work for the entire cast.
Mary Tyler Moore seemed like she was weak and helpless on most of her TV sitcoms, but in reality she was a brilliant businesswoman, ruthless negotiator, and created one of the largest television empires, producing dozens of shows in it's peak.
Even before that, we had the "Golden Age of Radio", when families would tune into various weekly shows.
Especially in the early days of Television, the casts were kept terribly small. Very often, there would only be the husband, the wife, and the children, with some neighbors or friends thrown in to keep it interesting (especially since the husband was working most of the time).
And where was cross-dressing?
We had "Uncle Miltie" - whose drag woman was frightening to young children. He was on every week, and looked hideous. I remember one time seeing a skit with Milton Berle and Jackie Gleason and thinking "Why do they have to look so ugly, I bet I could look like a REAL woman if I tried". I tried the next day and was quite astonished at how much like a real girl I looked. It wasn't the first time I'd ever been fully dressed, or WANTED to be fully dressed, but this was the first time I really tried to "pass".
Later at night, there were female impersonators, doing acts where they would transform themselves from one star to another, often in a matter of 2-3 seconds. They looked very pretty, but they always tried to tell their hosts during the interview phase that they were NOT gay and NOT transsexual. In public at least, they tried to portray themselves as straight heterosexual men who enjoyed being heterosexual men and just made a lot of people happy by performing while looking like famous music and movie stars.
Facebook - Debbie Lawrence
Web - [URL="http://www.debbieballard.org"]DebbieBallard.org{/URL]
See also:
Open4Success
That's right. Normal is what the majority are doing so in that respect cross dressing is not "normal" but that doesn't make it wrong .... just different.
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
The problem is that we assume that we can assess "normal" simply by observing the general population. The Kinsey study made it very clear that when it comes to behaviors usually kept secret, such as sexual preferences, the reality is RADICALLY different from what could assume from "street" behavior.
In that bell curve, you might have to look at something more on the Harry Benjamin scale. In the curve, most men would be "Dress in a few items occasionally" (and don't tell anyone), or in the "Dress as a girl but never go out in public". The "Probably less than others" section would be the folks go out in public, but do so discretely and have no desire to change gender. In the "Definitely less than others" would be the hard core transsexuals who are likely to die if they don't transition (suicide, self-destruction, high risk behaviors, or "suicide on the installment plan" such as overeating, oversmoking, drinking excessively, or drug addiction.
The problem is that you could have 75% of the population who were transgender to some degree or another, between "Like to wear one item" and "I want to be a girl for the rest of my life". The other small group would be the "wear an item of women's clothing, gross, I don't even like seeing WOMEN in that stuff!".
So to be off the bell curve entirely (not part of the calculation of the mean), you would have to not be human.Looking at the bell curve, the Cding would fall in either section (depending on which way you look at it), as 'definitely more' or 'definitely less' than others. But, it is still on the bell curve.
bell_curve.gif[/QUOTE]
Facebook - Debbie Lawrence
Web - [URL="http://www.debbieballard.org"]DebbieBallard.org{/URL]
See also:
Open4Success
Statistically normal - crossdressing - no!, her response - yes!
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
I guess my "super fantastically weird" to normal is not scientific enough for you;-) We're on the same page though.
nylon, i understand the question and it has provoked a lot of great answers, but if someone were to tell me that dressing up is not "normal," my only response would be "so?" i inherently acknowledge it's outside of most people's concept of "normal" behavior" just by virtue of the fact that i keep it as private as i do. but, "normal" should have no positive or negative connotations in this context. i absolutely love to do it and it certainly isn't hurting others or myself in any way, shape or form, so why in the world would i feel compelled to stop it? because it's not "normal????" umm....i don't think so!
it seems to me the only relevant question in your situation is whether she can accept it or not. and i would certainly respect and totally understand her decision if she couldn't. she feels what she feels. and, if she can't accept it, it sounds like you've already answered the next question: would i stop dressing up to keep her? life is nothing but an endless stream of choices, from the most simple, trivial ones like should i hit that snooze button on the alarm clock, to the most difficult ones like should should i end a marriage, but they all require weighing the costs and benefits of each possible choice. seems like that ball is in her court right now. but, i agree with others that it merits meaningful and candid discussion with her in advance of her making the choice. who knows, you may say something that causes her to feel differently about it. if not, you can feel good about doing all you could before moving on.
good luck to you either way!
molly
Move on, call it a day, and keep doing the thing that makes you happy. You're too GOOD for her...
You have to do what makes you happy. Don't change for anyone. It won't ever work out if you have to be someone you are not!
The responses that suggested you don't give up yet until you've made a deliberate effort to educate and communicate is, IMO, the way to go. That doesn't mean just having ONE talk, instead, since you already have spent years towards educating yourself emotionally and mentally, that you offer her your knowlege only enough at a time so she is able to grasp it.
"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well".
Julie
Well, it's normal for me. Normal for others may vary. It is not a societal norm as of yet, however, although it is not a crime now, as it has in the past. The truth is that that, as of 50 years ago, mostly due to legal efforts by the gay and lesbian community those laws, at least, have been overturned in the courts. Since cross dressers are easy targets for those who revile them due to their shyness and real fear of discovery by even the people who know them best, we are the last to be counted in a society that still needs scapegoats. It is my belief and my hope that as the younger generations take more control this will result in changing what societal standards are presently in place, but it is doubtful that I will be alive to see it. Of course this will result in new societal scapegoats (fair game for societal derision and contempt, with more and more laws passed to oppress them), smokers, firearms owners and those who tolerate them and others that as of now, I cannot foresee. The first has been in place for some years, the second is coming rapidly. As a member of a group that had half of it's world population's murders come to light a year or two before my birth, I am well aware of how a benign appearing government can turn a nation into a charnel house by blaming difficulties on scapegoats.
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)
I think she is saying that she doesn't want to deal with the hassle of your crossdressing. In her mind, it's not normal. It doesn't matter what a bunch of crossdressers on the Internet think. I don't think you need to worry about moving on, I think she will move on herself soon enough, at least from what you have posted here.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
One of the reasons for this forum is that it is not a "normal" human behavior. That does not make it right or wrong, good or bad, just that it is not normal by the definition of normal. We who cd are in a small minority. Of course, there is another way of looking at it.... that any behavior ever exhibited by a human then becomes normal human behavior, but merely uncommon behavior. Uncommon sounds a little better. I do not know if there is really much of a difference.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Ask yourself this: Why is anyone worried if something is "normal" or not? Who cares? The pertinent questions are: Does it hurt anyone? Is it fun? And for me, the answers are "no" and "yes", respectively.
I always define "normal" as the opposite of "unusual". However, to me unusual pertains to those who choose not to partake of the pleasure I enjoy, which is wearing feminine attire. On the other hand, they also consider thenselves to be normal, as a "normal" person could hardly imagine wearing the clothes of the opposite gender. Therefore, in a sense, we are all normal because we are being ourselves and that works well for me.
Perhaps if your GF reads all the replys to this thread, she may get a better understanding of "normal".
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
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