Question to the CDers who would date a man

[Sophie_C]

Reine, I do love that you're so civilized about things. Basically for me, I believe categorizing things doesn't really help people be any bit more true to themselves than letting them be free. Whoever you are attracted to, you're attracted to.

I do get what you're wanting to get at, that unless you're truly transgendered (which I would lean to being), that it's simply a homosexual relationship and they should just accept reality.

Well, the problem with that (and this is why categories are bad) is that there's this sort of typical boy-boy, masculine-masculine (even if one is a bit effeminite) gay model that someone who is a crossdresser cannot relate to. And, it's true, most gay relationships, even those who are here, their partners are NOT keen on any of the feminine aspects of them, whatsoever. They "tolerate" it, but they don't like it, at all. It's these sexuality roles which makes those here consider it something else (which it is, in a way). Now, if the umbrella of homosexuality did include it, then I believe this debate wouldn't even exist.

But, when's the last time you've seen a gay man being happy with his boyfriend always in drag? Absolutely never. When is the last time you've seen a CD attracted to men meet a man who identifies as gay in a gay environment and have a relationship with him? Never.

And, it's not going to change, since this sexual identity role is at the heart of the tolerance that is finally going through society for gay and lesbian couples. There's a sort of "wholesome middle america" package that's brought about, which has pretty much zero wiggle room for a CD and masculine male being together in it. So, people can't identify.

Is this a bit clearer?

Example of this "wholesome middle america" thing I'm talking about:



Edit: I should note that I actually love the "wholesome middle america" thing that is going on (and has always been here), but the answer to me is not to deconstruct it, but just let people be free on how they are if they fall outside of it.

As time will pass, and as this becomes known everywhere as just "normal" you'll get trans women and cis male relationships being seen as more "normal", and given even more time, then you'll be able to have the CD/male dynamic as not seen as just another relationship, and then nothing will matter. In the meantime, people should just be who they are, true to their feelings and not concern themselves about categories (if it was up to me).

[Janine cd]

I am intrigued by the possibility of dating a male, but I, also, would be much more comfortable if the male was also a crossdresser.

[GroovyChristy]

Reine, this may just be me, but whatever a person is presenting as determines the pronouns I will use when referring to them. I will call a regular CD "she," and the same for drag queens, and of course transwomen. As for androgynous/gender-fluid/nonconforming folks, perhaps there should be a third gender pronoun.

In any case, I will call someone by female pronouns if she is presenting femme despite not knowing what the plumbing looks like. Maybe it's harder for some people than it is for me, as I am bisexual and am okay with whatever is under the clothing.

[Sissy_Michelle]

A CDer couldn't be a woman?

[tiffanynjcd24]

Being the bi crossdresser, I find the men are attractive but also as much as I love women, im taking a liking to a beautiful cd/tg. Who the person is attractive to is all about truly loving someone, regardless of howbthey present theirselves

[ReineD]

Its quite simple Reine. CDers are everything a woman is supposed to be.

Hey Sean, long time no see. Nice to see that you are still saying the same things!

You have to remember straight men are only attracted to Cds that can pass as genetic girls.

Which is all well and good if the picture taking skills are excellent as well as the makeup skills as long as the CDer posts the best photo at the best angle (and only a fraction of real-life size) ... but what happens in real life when both CDers meet and the clothes come off?

There are very few CDers who totally pass as GGs in real life. The proof is all the work that TSs do in order to be stealth: HRT & FFS. CDers by definition don't do these things.

Back to meeting in real life - I guess another question might be, is it possible to have a fantasy about a CDer who looks like a GG in a picture, that just stays a fantasy and does not materialize when they both meet (because then the illusion would be shattered)?

In any case, I will call someone by female pronouns if she is presenting femme

I do the same thing, Christy, out of respect for their presentation. Doing otherwise would be rude. But my original question wasn't about what pronoun to use, I was rather asking why CDers who are not sexually attracted to men, are sexually attracted to CDers since CDers are fundamentally men (when the clothes come off assuming they have sex).




And thanks everyone else as well. Sophie, I agree with what you say.

[seanmuscle]

I find the Kelly girl to be attractive Reine. That gives you an idea of what I mean by passable.

[Lexi_83]

Its quite simple Reine. CDers are everything a woman is supposed to be. The look, the feel, the femininity and gentle nature. Straight men are attracted to this. You have to remember straight men are only attracted to Cds that can pass as genetic girls. Not a big muscular hairy guy in a dress. Hence the reason a lot of guys are attracted to asian CDers because they are generally the same size as western women and can pull off the feminine look so well.

You can add long blonde hair and big boobs....